Myth: “I Don’t Even Know What I Want To Do” --- BUSTED

FROM THE SERIES

LIVE YOUR DREAMS:
Doctor’s Orders

Revealing Evidence Of Why This Myth Is False And How You Too Can Discover And Start Your Own Unique Custom-Fit Business

Samuel Gerstein, M.D.

Foreword by JACK CANFIELD,

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Amazon Kindle Edition

Stories From the Book: Live Your Dreams: Doctor’s Orders

More Praise…

“Dr. Gerstein introduces us to 40 individuals who have accomplished the impossible to reach profound success. It is through the guidance of those who have traveled the path before us that we can learn to achieve our own life dreams. This book is a priceless treasure of tried-and-true wisdom for all ages.”

Nido Qubein, President, High Point University,

Chairman, Great Harvest Bread Co.

✦

“Dr. Gerstein has shown us, through many real examples, how we can convert dreams from aspiration to reality. If you have a dream, but have not realized it yet, read this book and inspire yourself to action!”

Dr. Lance Secretan, Author, ONE:

The Art and Practice of Conscious Leadership.

✦

“The people in these stories will serve as role models for anyone who wants to live their dreams.”

Robin Sharma, #1 Bestselling author of The Greatness Guide.

✦

“You can change your life or your attitude towards your life. We are all capable of change when we have the desire and intention to do so. This book can help coach and guide you and show you that reinventing yourself is possible.”

Bernie Siegel, MD, Author of 365 Prescriptions

For The Soul and Prescriptions For Living

✦

“It’s one thing to dream. It’s another thing to have your doctor help you turn your dream into success. Read Live Your Dreams: Doctor ’s Orders and your dreams may come true.”

W. Mitchell, C.P.A.E., Author of It's Not

What Happens to You, It's What You Do About It.

Myth: I Don’t Even Know What I Want To Do --- Busted

Copyright 2018 by Dreams for Real Inc. All rights reserved. Printed in Canada. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address Dreams for Real Inc., 5863 Leslie Street, Suite 316 Toronto, Ontario, Canada M2H 1J8.

www.dreamsforreal.com

Gerstein, Samuel, 1957-

Myth: I Don’t Even Know What I Want To Do --- Busted / Samuel Gerstein.

1. Small Business and Entrepreneurship (Business) I. Title.

This book is dedicated to my parents who gave me the opportunity to explore my dream, to my wife, Michelle, who believed in my dream and supported me every step along the way, and to my children, Ryan and Casey, so they will know that their dreams are real.

Contents

Disclaimer

Foreword of Live Your Dreams: Doctor's Orders by Jack Canfield

Introduction

Dr. Samuel Gerstein, M.D., Business Coach

Gregory Kaminsky

Mark Diamond

Laura Koot

Elaine Morton

Conclusion

Myth Busters:

Gregory Kaminsky - Founder and Owner of Sign Store

Mark Diamond - Camp Owner

Laura Koot - News Presentation Editor

Elaine Morton - Owner and Operator of Aesthetic Salon

Disclaimer

This book was written with the intent of expanding people’s awareness of what is possible in the world of work. All of the stories of the people in the book are true accounts of their working lives up to the time of the interviews that were used as the foundation for the research for the book.

The lessons that are related by the people in the book, as well as by Dr. Gerstein, are the opinions of the aforementioned authors. This book gives no guarantee of success or of reproducing any of the results achieved by the people interviewed for this book by following the lessons outlined in the text. In fact, one of the key concepts in the book is that people’s life directions are as unique as the people themselves. No one can tell you what to do. That comes from within. Use this book to stimulate your own thought process of what may be right for you.

Every effort has been made to make this book as complete and accurate as possible. However, there may be mistakes both typographical and in content, therefore, the text should be used as a general guide and not as the ultimate source for career guidance.

The purpose of the book is to educate and entertain. The author and publisher assume no liability for any loss or damages alleged to be caused by the contents contained in the book. Please consult the appropriate professionals to obtain specific information regarding your personal situation.

Foreword of Live Your Dreams:
Doctor's Orders
by Jack Canfield

In our first Chicken Soup for the Soul book, I tell a story of visiting the Temple of the Golden Buddha in Thailand. I was astounded to learn that this awesome solid-gold Buddha smiling down at us had been covered by a thick layer of clay for hundreds of years.

Historians believe that Siamese monks applied the clay to keep their precious treasure from being looted by an invading army. Unfortunately, it appears that all the monks were killed by the invaders, and the well-kept secret of the golden Buddha remained intact until 1957 when the statue had to be moved. To everyone’s shock some clay fell off, and when the startled head monk applied a hammer and chisel, he discovered the sold-gold treasure underneath.

As we flew home I thought to myself, “We are all like that Buddha, covered with a shell of hardness created out of fear. Yet underneath, each of us is a ‘golden Buddha; a ‘golden Christ’ or a ‘golden essence’ which is our real self. Somewhere between the ages of two and nine we begin to cover up our ‘golden essence.’ Much like the monk with the hammer and the chisel, our task now is to discover our true essence once again!”

In “Live Your Dreams – Doctor’s Orders” - Dr. Gerstein does a superb job of exposing the true golden essence of forty ordinary people who all found a way to overcome their fear, chip off the clay and go for their dream. And after each story, he provides tips on how you, the reader can do it too.

There are many books out there today on how to achieve your dreams and find success. In this book Dr. Gerstein shows us what can happen when those principles are actually applied. By going beyond the tired theories of how to ‘find a good job,’ he opted to shoot for the moon and found example after example of people actually living their dreams at work. Based not on money, but on passion, joy and fulfillment - their dreams are no fantasy, but fully realized. Today, all of them are doing what they love, and their diverse and very individual stories show us all what living your dream can actually look like.

Too often in today’s society we stop short of the dream. Instead, we focus on decreasing our pain, managing our stress and treating our illnesses. But why do we stop there? After all, good health is so much more than simply a lack of illness. It is a vitality for life, an abundance of energy that is our birth right. Good health is a good attitude, a strong body and a vibrant mind.

Dr. Samuel Gerstein walks his talk. As you will see from his personal story which begins the book, he was feeling the effects of work stress himself several years ago. His own journey of self discovery led him to his dream of helping others find theirs. I believe this book will inspire you to do the same. Read it if you are feeling lost, or if your work has little meaning. Read it if you are dissatisfied with or hate your job. Read it if you have given up hope that the majority of your adult life spent at work will ever be enjoyable or fulfilling.

One of the best ways to learn anything new is through the use of role models. Dr. Gerstein has provided us with forty powerful role models in people who overcame their fears and all the reasons why they ‘couldn’t,’ and through dogged determination and creative resourceful-ness found a way to achieve their dream. And because we are all unique, the wisdom and inspiration in this book can be utilized as much by a confused young high school senior as a by disgruntled senior manager of a large downtown firm.

When Mark Victor Hansen and I created Chicken Soup for the Soul, our mission was to heal and change the world one story at a time. I am moved by the forty very special stories Dr. Gerstein has found and given to the world. They are an inspiration to all people who want to live their dream. It’s a book that is meant to be read, absorbed and acted on. If you are tired of ‘settling’ in your life, see yourself doing what these people have done, and know that if they can do it, so can you.

Jack Canfield

Co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series and

Author of The Success Principles™

Introduction

The myth that people don’t know what they want to do in life has been passed around so often that many simply take it as fact. But remember, these are only the echoes of voices from parents, teachers, coaches, friends, culture, and media that you internalized at a young age. They may be the principles you have erroneously adopted as truth. Now is the time to separate fact from fiction.

If you gave most people a magic wand and got them to temporarily drop their rational brain thinking and just tell you what they would love to do to make a contribution, they would blurt out their Dream.

But in our society, we have been indoctrinated to value the “rational”, logical brain above all else. The downside to this is that it prevents people from dreaming. There is nothing wrong with dreaming as long it is followed up with hard work.

However, I have found the “Thinking Brain” to be a wonderful follower but a very poor leader. You can’t list all of the businesses in the world and choose your ideal one by process of elimination. First of all, there are too many now. Secondly, you would probably bypass your best match because the Thinking Brain often doesn’t account for how you will feel doing this business for 20, 30 or 40 years day in and day out.

One of the major contributors to work stress I see in my practice is the job was never a good fit for the person doing it. She tolerated it at best, and at worst, suffered through it, sometimes to burnout, for the money or security. But “money” is a poor reason to get into a business. It is a weak motivator and is not enough to sustain you through the inevitable challenging times.

Instead of “knowing” what to do I help my clients find their custom-fit business by tapping into the gold mine of their “Emotional Brain”. I do this by teaching my clients specific tools and techniques to bypass the “Thinking Brain”, which is often a hindrance to discovering your own custom-fit business.

In this book you will read the true stories of people who have personally debunked this myth. The people in this book are proof that you can overcome this fear.

In the following stories you’ll see how these people begin to tap into their dream by letting their emotions lead the way. Each of these inspiring individuals had to overcome at least one major challenge. To name a couple, Mark Diamond felt tremendous pressure to carry on in the traditional role of men in his family. He found the courage to challenge this role. Gregory Kaminsky’s English wasn’t very good when he immigrated to Canada from Russia. Here he faced union pressures, unfair layoffs, and vandalization. But he was determined to find a way to his independence.

How did they do it? The answers are in the details of the stories. I also pick out one key lesson from each story to help you apply it to your own life.

You are not alone in your quest for living your dream. The only difference between the people in this book and you may be that the former group have found their Dream Business and taken the baby steps in their journey and you have not found your optimal fit yet. But when you understand where to look, it will reveal itself. Their fires are burning strong and yours maybe simmering embers. Let the people in this book help rekindle your own inner flame. See how they overcame their struggles, and by association, let them show you how you can overcome yours.

They did it. Now it’s your turn.

Follow Your Dreams

Sam Gerstein

Dr. Samuel Gerstein, M.D., Business Coach

The Author’s Story:

As an emergency physician it was my job to help people in pain. I had been doing that for fifteen years, doing the very best I could for my patients. At times I overlooked my own pain, and ignored the growing void inside of me, hiding behind a façade that everything was going well. However, the longer I ignored it, the larger the void became, and the harder it became to ignore it.

I now understand a universal law: The universe has lessons to teach everyone. If you don’t get the lesson the first time it will increase the intensity of the lesson until you have to pay attention. I finally got my lesson when the universe sent a startling coincidence onto my path.

In his bestselling book The Celestine Prophecy, author James Redfield speaks about nine insights the human race will discover as it enters the era of spiritual awareness. The first insight is to pay attention to mysterious coincidences. He says once you interpret these sudden, synchronistic events, they will lead you to your destiny. I don’t know about the validity of all the insights he suggests, but I have witnessed some startling scenes of synchronicity in my own life, as well as in the lives of the people whose stories I share in this book.

About nine years ago I realized I was growing frustrated at work and wanted something more. I had seen so much despair in people who had given up on themselves, and I knew I could do more for them. This angst carried over to my family life where small things began to irritate me. I knew this because one summer while on vacation I found myself in a heated argument with my wife Michelle, over a seemingly negligible matter. I was on a break for some R&R, and here I was arguing and upset over some small matter. Maybe I didn’t really need a break. Maybe what I needed was to scratch that itch that had been nagging at me for some time.

I told Michelle I had felt myself to be very tense lately, and maybe a massage would help relax me. Prior to that I had received maybe two paid massages in my life, so it certainly wasn’t a part of my routine. Years before someone had told me about a specific spa downtown. We had tickets to go to a Blue Jays baseball game the same day so, on the spur of the moment, I made a reservation to go to that particular spa right before the game. Michelle took advantage of my plan and made an appointment herself for a manicure, pedicure and facial.

After my massage and while waiting for my wife, I went to the counter to pass the time. I picked up what looked like an interesting book, bought it and promptly headed to the hot tub to begin reading. I couldn’t put it down and was almost a prune when I emerged.

The book was called Passionate Longevity, by Elaine Dembe, and the concepts in the book enthralled me. In it she talked about the life lessons of elderly people as they looked back over their lives. They spoke about what was truly meaningful for them, and about things they would and wouldn’t do if they had the chance to live over again.

We went to the ball game, but I couldn’t take my mind off that book and how it related to my life. Was I really doing what I wanted? Would I regret it when I was in my eighties? I couldn’t tell you the score of the game, but I finished the book the next day. I was so inspired I wanted to call the author and speak with her. Now there were dozens of books on spirituality, personal development and motivation in the bookstores at the time, most of them by American authors. I could have chosen any one of those best sellers in the spa that day but it was hers I picked up. When I read that the author worked and lived in Toronto not far from me, I was floored.

I contacted Elaine immediately and she happily agreed to speak to me. It happened that I was suffering from some back pain at the time. It turned out that Elaine was also a chiropractor, and one very energetic lady. I met with her several times for my back, and also to talk to her about my frustrations. She suggested I explore two centres in the United States to continue my journey. When I received their brochures, one course stood out above the rest so I signed up for it immediately. It was called Lifeshaping, and was a big factor in how I changed my life.

The content and facilitator of the course were excellent. However, it was as much about me being ready to hear the message that was instrumental in changing my life direction. That old Buddhist saying, when the pupil is ready the teacher appears, really is true. Over the next two summers I ended up assisting and then co-facilitating the course with its creator, Ingrid Brendenburg, and that was what got me started on the path to what I am doing now.

I decided to start listening to my heart and begin doing what feels good and right to me. It only made sense that if I wanted others to do that, I should be doing it myself. My intention was to not evaluate myself on the results as I have done for so many things in my life, but rather to simply enjoy the process.

In the transition period I began taking extra courses that interested me. I didn’t have a specific plan; I just followed where my passions led me. I took a psychology course in NLP – (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and became a master practitioner. I took an Adult Education Facilitation course, joined a Toastmasters Club and became a local member of CAPS – the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers in Toronto. I also had fun doing some improvisational acting at Second City. Over the next three years I juggled these extracurricular activities while continuing to work in the ER, and spending time with my young family. I simply trusted I was moving in the right direction because I was following my heart.

I began reading more of Dr. Abraham Maslow’s and Dr. Carl Roger ’s theories of self-actualization, and about people reaching their full potential and how they did it. Somewhere in there I began writing material to help people follow their dreams.

Shortly thereafter I dug into my savings to create my own company, Dreams For Real Incorporated. For the first four years our family cut back on some nonessentials like vacations, and I picked up some extra shifts in the ER to help with the expenses.

After having worked in socialized medicine for so long I knew I had to become skilled in the world of business. I took marketing courses to help me promote my seminars and my professional speaking services. They showed me ways to make my own dream real, and turn it into a viable business. I gave free speeches to several community service organizations like the Rotary Club. I did my first no-fee seminar out of my home. The anxiety I felt before the seminar was nothing compared to the exhilaration I experienced after it was done. I would never have known that if I had just sat back and hoped it would happen. I had to actually take action.

I did a lot on my own, and I take great pride in going after my goal and achieving it. But I soon realized I would go a lot further, a lot faster if I had help. Besides, it would be more fun having others with whom to share my experiences. I began asking for help.

I started a Mastermind group comprised of like-minded people who had information they wanted to share with others. Whenever I felt frightened or worried I opened up to them. I was no longer hiding behind the façade that everything was going well. Besides, no one had ever believed it anyway. I had just been fooling myself, and was really afraid to admit I had challenges too. I found that just naming them and

talking about them in front of my friends was a huge relief. The people in that group have been a tremendous resource for support and assistance.

I soon realized I could not do it all, and began delegating parts of my business I had no interest in. For me this included computer and web-based issues and publishing. I focused on what I loved – writing about living your dreams and helping other people do it.

Despite all of this, I realized something was still missing. This time I was conscious to the message, and paid attention. I had woken up. Through my work I was now delivering to people a lot of important information and techniques, but I was lacking key role models for following one’s dreams. As Yogi Berra said, “You've got to be careful if you don't know where you're going 'cause you might not get there.”

From my patients, I had many role models for the mental and physical effects of work stress. But I realized I had very little in the way of what dreams look like in the real world once they’ve been manifested and realized.

That was it! That was the missing ingredient. I knew I had to go out and find people who were living their dreams and get their stories before I could really show others how to do it. It made so much sense. To the naysayers, they would be living proof that it was possible. To the curious, they would be an enigma. And to the people who were secretly or openly interested in living their own dreams, they would be a roadmap.

And so I began what I didn’t realize would become a huge undertaking. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I interviewed over two hundred people, over a hundred of which were formal meetings. I drove to wherever they worked or lived, at any hour that was convenient to them. My journey took me to many corners of Toronto and its neighbouring cities and towns. Each and every person I met inspired me in some way, and I knew they would inspire others too. It took me two-and-a-half years to complete the interviews, and another year-and-a-half to transcribe them and write this book. I did this work around my family times and while continuing my ER duties at the hospital. I enjoyed every minute of it.

Pouring over the notes I had taken, I teased out the key common themes to how the people who were living their dreams had actually done it. Once that was done, I put it all together in a program, and then used that program to overhaul my seminars. It also became the cornerstone for setting up my own psychotherapy practice, where I help individuals overcome their personal struggles to follow their own true path.

My biggest obstacle was there was no roadmap to follow to do this. Unlike medical training, there was no curriculum to follow and no test with which to measure my competencies. There were weeks when I didn’t have any leads for where I would find the next person to interview in their dream business. I was often disappointed and dejected. At those times my wife would step up to the plate and reassure me this was only a temporary lull. My Mastermind group was a tremendous support as well.

What kept me motivated was my belief in what I was doing, and my enthusiasm to help others live their dreams. I have witnessed so much despair in my years at the hospital, and I’ve been so saddened watching people give up on themselves, not realizing they could live their life by following their own script. I would think of the quizzical looks on the faces of the people I asked about their dreams – people who had never even been asked what they wanted, who had been told what they should be doing. I knew it wasn’t right, and they could be so much happier if they were true to themselves. I refused to let my despair win, and I vowed not to give up.

On my good days I remembered the other side of the coin of not having a set path to follow. I reminded myself I could be creative and follow my own instincts. I was not hamstrung by other people’s agendas. I was free to do what I thought was best for my clients. The obstacle that I was facing, having no roadmap or set course to follow, was inherently also a benefit.

I can say in all honesty that I now feel more complete in my vocation as a doctor – as a healer. I help people both proactively and reactively. I know that in stress-related diseases there is often a five- to ten-year lag time between emotional distress and the physical manifestation of that stress. I feel that I now have more balance in my life, and I’m more at peace with myself. I know I am doing what I love because no one has to tell me to do it.

I look forward to creating better techniques to help people achieve their Dream Goals. After working in the ER and playing with my young children, I often work in my home office for hours some evenings. It is definitely a labour of love. I also know it is a good fit because I continually talk to my wife about ideas I have for such and such a seminar or book. Sometimes I forget that it’s my dream and not hers. Sometimes I go on a tad too much – to the point where she is the one needing a break from my dream. I am having so much fun I don’t even consider it work.

It took me forty years to hear the true message of what my heart had been whispering to me all along. It was a “coincidence” that woke me up. You can bet that I have been paying close attention ever since.

“Dreams without action are fantasy. Actions without dreams are empty. Dreams combined with actions manifest one’s destiny.”

Samuel Gerstein

Gregory Kaminsky

Founder & Owner of Sign Store

“Some people make things happen, Some watch things happen,

While others wonder, “What happened?””

Proverb

“I was fascinated the first time I saw an engraving machine. Where I came from back in Russia, I had never seen a machine like that. I immediately wanted one for myself.”

I grew up in Russia and went to a merchant marine college. By trade I was a ship’s engineer, and worked on Soviet boats. I also had an untapped creative side. I was a good draftsman and enjoyed calligraphy. But that side of me lay dormant until serendipity allowed me to discover my niche.

As a Jew, travel outside mainland Soviet Union was prohibited. Working on a boat was my only opportunity to see the world. We were located in ports in Canada, Europe and Japan. Whenever I traveled I didn’t want to return home, but I was afraid of repercussions to my family if I did not. In 1975 I received permission for my wife and I to come to Canada.

When we arrived I found a job with the Canadian Steamship

Line. The company started me in the engine room as a non-union worker. Because I spoke very little English, they underestimated my abilities. Then one day the engine totally broke down. I got to work on it as soon as it happened. I fixed the pistons, reengineered the cylinder and got it running again. After that my supervisors understood I was not just a grease monkey. They promised me work, but only until the end of the winter. Sure enough when spring came, they told me they would be hiring union people again. I had no desire to join a union so I told them I was walking.

I found a job across the road with The United Steel and Metal Company. For the next two years I worked in the scrap yard cutting metal, and welding and repairing trucks. I was gaining experience and providing food for my family, but I always hoped that one day I would get a better opportunity. At one point, I sensed that my foreman was threatened by my apparent potential because he started making my work life difficult – so I quit. Within three weeks I landed a job with the Union Boiler Company of Hamilton. The new job meant an increase in income and an upgraded benefits package. I did that until I began seeing some layoffs. I was afraid I was going to be on the chopping block next.

I have always been an independent person. I have never liked unions where uniformity is the rule and creativity is all but dead. I enjoy making decisions on my own – thinking for myself, and in Canada you are free to do that. I don’t want someone else to tell me I can’t have this job because I don’t have the proper seniority. I believe rewards should correspond to your talents and the effort you put into your work.

There was only one way to solve my dilemma. I realized I had to start my own company. So I bought a truck and started my own scrap metal business. I was excited and nervous about going into business for myself. When I needed some help, it came from a man I had met at our synagogue. Goldal Silver gave me both financial backing and advisory assistance in selling my services. I will never forget what he did for me. That experience would later help me when I got into another business.

After my truck was vandalized a few times, I figured that someone in a union felt threatened by my presence. It dawned on me that I didn’t have complete freedom in this country either. This frightened me, and I became concerned for my family. We had a newborn son, and my wife’s parents had just emigrated from the Soviet Union. I decided Hamilton was not the best place for me, so I packed everything up and moved to Toronto.

In Toronto I found a job doing maintenance work at CIBC head office. It was a big step down, but we needed money. The events in Hamilton had scared me off, and I was licking my wounds.

At work one day I noticed they had an engraving machine, which produced nameplates and labels. I was fascinated by this device. I had never seen anything like it before. Earlier I had made an $800 investment in precious metals, and when I sold it I was delighted to walk away with $5,000. Using some of that money I bought a small engraving machine and began my own hobby. I was working the evening shift (4 p.m. to midnight) at the bank so I was happy to find something to do in the daytime.

When friends got wind of what I was doing they would ask me to engrave things for them. They wanted office desk nameplates, and jewellery engravings. They told their friends, and people were literally lining up for my services in our tiny apartment. What started out as a hobby began earning me pocket money. After seeing the looks of appreciation on people’s faces I began thinking more creatively. I asked myself, what else can I do to be creative in this industry? What other materials can I use? How can I expand my services?

In what turned out to be the first of several relocations to garner more space, we moved from our apartment to a semi-detached house. The house had a separate walkout from the basement so I could run my little business without affecting my home life. Increased demand forced me to add two additional engraving machines, and a vinyl machine. Then I had to hire some part-timers to work with me in my basement.

Meanwhile the maintenance company that supplied workers to the bank was bought out, and once again I was not part of the union. Unhappy with the new work conditions, I quit. That was pretty tough on our family’s income. But my wife was always supportive of me. She began teaching piano and for awhile we lived off her income. I only withdrew $100 a week for groceries from what I took in. I needed to create something bigger that would support my family. I decided to go into the signage business.

In 1981 I borrowed $10,000 from my father-in law and bought a small 1,500 square foot industrial unit in Toronto. That is where I officially began my sign shop. There’s a downside to owning your own business – you have to stay until the job is done! There is no such thing as overtime for the owner. The upside is I got to create the kind of work I wanted. I was able to achieve a lot with my own hands. With growth came the need to hire sculptors, designers and painters to take it to the next level.

Bill Taylor with the CIBC gave me my first big break. He was in charge of purchasing and facility management at the Commerce Court location in downtown Toronto. I knew him from when I was a maintenance worker. He initially hired me to do small nameplates for broker offices. When he recommended me to a securities company, they contracted me to do large signs. They liked my work.

Over time I developed a solid reputation for good work and dependability. As a result, I never had any trouble getting supplier extensions or bank loans. Once I needed a special tool only available in the US. When I called the company they asked who my suppliers were. I told them, and the next morning the needed tool was at my front door with a bill attached. My suppliers had vouched for me.

I enjoy the creative part of the business, and I’ve had to learn to manage the financial aspects. Much of that learning came through the school of hard knocks. I have been duped into making signs for people who have then reneged on the balance. I’ve learned to get all the terms and conditions on paper right from the start.

In 1989 we were doing so well that we relocated to a 10,000 square foot facility. I have a staff of fourteen people, and my wife and son are valued partners. Every sign is different than the last. It’s a learning process. Some people who do this use only a few materials. In contrast, we use a couple of thousand materials in our signs. The technology we use is all up-to-date and I am just as committed to my customers now as I was when I first began in my tiny apartment. I got into this business because I enjoyed the creative part of it. Twenty-two years later I am still able to be creative.

I was never a union man. I have always enjoyed doing things my own way. However, that doesn’t mean I’ve done it on my own. There are many people who have helped me along the way, and I am grateful to all of them. Without them I might not be where I am today – doing what I love.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

Overcoming obstacles.

Gregory Kaminsky faced numerous obstacles to success in his Dream Business. Coming from the Soviet Union he had a language barrier. He was trained as a ship’s engineer, not what he loved but what was available to him in the Soviet Union. He arrived in Canada when he was twenty-eight with little formal education, and he wasn’t given his due respect for his engineering training and experience. He lost several jobs in his early years in Canada because of his refusal to join a union. He was even chased out of Hamilton because of it.

He only found his future path by accident while working as a maintenance worker at a major bank. The engraving machine gave him something to do in his spare time. Many people would call him lucky and say “He just happened to be in the right place at the right time”. My response to that is, “Hogwash.”

We are all surrounded by hundreds of opportunities every day. Most of us are so busy complaining or hoping for a lottery win that we don’t even notice them. Gregory Kaminsky noticed. However, if that were all he did he would still be dreaming about his own business. What made him different from most people? He ACTED on his wishes.

Taking action is what separates people who only hope things will happen from people who actually make things happen. Dreams without action are fantasy. Actions without dreams are empty. Dreams combined with actions manifest one’s destiny. The power comes when you combine the two:

DREAMS + ACTION = PERSONAL POWER.

The odds were stacked against Gregory Kaminsky. If you had added up all of his potential obstacles when he first started his venture, you would likely have given him little chance of success.

Yet Gregory wouldn’t have cared about that. He was doing what he loved and was building his business one step at a time.

What first began as a hobby eventually turned into a 10,000 square foot, professional, quality driven company whose owner still believes in creativity.

What do you believe in? What do you love? Which of your hobbies can you expand? Ignore those who talk about the odds of success. They can’t see your heart – the key ingredient in following your dreams.

Mark Diamond

Camp Owner

“The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -

deliberate, contrived and dishonest - but the myth -

persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.”

President John F. Kennedy

“For years I worked in “respectable” careers.

I was doing what I thought was expected of me.

How could I have been so wrong all that time?”

As a kid I wanted to be a teacher, work with charities or run a camp. But growing up in an affluent family I felt an unspoken expectation to be a lawyer, doctor or successful businessman. My father was a successful businessman, and all my brothers went to law school. I felt I had something to prove, so I went to law school too because I didn’t know what else to do, and figured at least I would learn something. I felt a pressure to do something “respectful” with my life because I always felt my friends and family only considered a stereotypical corporate business or professional career had merit. I carried that stress for years. If I had only known then what I know now.

My strength has always been dealing with people. I communicate well with others, and people have always sought me out to help them solve problems. I was often called upon to mediate arguments between friends or family members.

As I was growing up, attending kids’ camp meant a lot to me. I made all of my good friendships at camp. My self-esteem was developed at camp. At school, I was quite insecure. I worked hard but was quite shy. But when I went to camp that all turned around. At camp I was well liked, I was popular and had friends. People saw me in a different light. They saw more of my facets because I lived with the other kids 24/7. They appreciated my sense of humour and how much I enjoyed helping others. I even became a leader when given a chance. Camp allowed my self-confidence to blossom, and the real Mark to emerge. I might have gotten there on my own, but camp was the catalyst that accelerated my personal growth. It was also to be a key piece of my career puzzle.

Being born with a silver spoon in my mouth meant I did not struggle financially but I was raised with the values of hard work and discipline to get the most out of life. I’m glad I went to law school if for no other reason than to prove I was going to do something with my life. Had I gone into camping right away I would have worried about how my family would view me. I felt they would have thought that camping was not a real job. It was important to me that others see me as a success in my own right. Intellectually I know it is misguided to depend on others’ opinions about you, but at that time I was not very high up on Abraham Maslow’s self-actualization scale.

After only one year of law practice I found myself to be extremely stressed. I was doing civil litigation, the only law I really liked, but on a stress scale of one to ten, where one is no stress and ten is imminent explosion, I was already at a ten. I found preparing for court to be exhausting and emotionally draining because I didn’t like what I was doing. I was doing it because I thought this was what success looked like. I wasn’t doing it for me and that kind of strain really took its toll.

Because I knew law wasn’t for me, I began to subconsciously sabotage my career by turning away many potential clients. I also knew if I continued to act that way I would not be long with the firm. After another year of more of the same, enough was enough. I walked out the door never to look back. Just walking out felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders, and I immediately began to breathe more easily.

Now I was unemployed. It didn’t feel right being without work, and I didn’t want people thinking I was goofing off. I was getting bored and wanted to get back to it. My father was a real estate developer and that influenced me a great deal. Looking back I realize I was still being guided by my false impressions of my family’s expectations of me. I got together with two other people and started building industrial and office condos and townhouses. It was fun and my stress level came down to an eight – still high, but now more tolerable. I didn’t love it, but I did enjoy working with the trades and seeing the finished physical product after all of our work. I also loved the nonprofit housing we built. I have a strong sense of social responsibility and it gave me pleasure to be able to help people through my work.

For the next nine years I did that. However, when the real estate recession hit in 1991, business slowed to a crawl and my partner wanted to close the business. I found I was ready for something new too.

At that time the Internet was just in its infancy. I was approached by a headhunter told me about a high-tech group doing websites for big businesses. They needed someone who knew business and finance. Again I responded instead of initiating my own next career move. It sounded respectable, so again I leaped without fully thinking it through.

It didn’t take long before once again I was very stressed, mostly because the industry was completely foreign to me. Firstly, we grew from a company of six to twenty people while continuing to lose money in the process. I didn’t know that was the norm for internet-based businesses. I had learned to look for a 20% profit year after year to define a successful company.

Secondly, I had difficulty relating to the people in this business. I liked to talk with people, yet all day long I was surrounded by techies who kept their heads buried behind their computer screens. That was their safety zone. But it wasn’t mine.

Lastly I was continually frustrated by the amount of information I had to absorb. Information technology was growing exponentially and it was impossible to stay abreast of the latest developments. I worked very long hours just trying to keep up.

It was overwhelming. I became run down, I got pneumonia and then my asthma worsened. I found myself snapping at my children. Then I would get upset at myself for losing it, and that made me feel even worse. I wasn’t happy. Luckily for me our internet company was bought out, and I walked away with a tiny profit. At that point just getting out with my original investment would have sufficed, so the profit was a bonus.

Afterward I felt totally drained. I decided to not just react this time and jump at the next opportunity that came along. I decided I was going to give myself a full year to contemplate my next move.

I went to career counselors to identify my strengths and see where my heart was. Several aptitude tests confirmed what I had dreamed of as a child. They showed I was best suited to work with people, specifically children. Careers in mediation and teaching also came up. During the ensuing months of self discovery my emotions were on a roller coaster. I’d fluctuate between euphoria when I thought I had finally found my true fit and then depression when I realized it wasn’t going to work. Not being busy was a stressor all in itself, even though I knew this time was necessary.

During this period of introspection I began to think again of what camp had done for my development. I felt a growing urge to give back to other children what I had received in my youth. I realized that if I became involved in a children’s camp, I could do that. For the first time in ages I could feel myself getting excited about work.

When I asked the career counselors about that possibility, they agreed it fit very well with my profile. I was a generalist and liked a position with a variety of roles. I liked running a business in a non-stressful way. To me, that meant understanding the whole process and being in control. I also loved kids and the outdoors. It was a great match they said.

I am convinced I came up with it myself because I immersed myself in the question for the first time in my life. All I had ever needed was some time off to think. I had finally given myself permission, and time to rediscover myself. That created a situation that allowed me to put the puzzle together.

I made another important distinction during this time when I realized that who I worked with was probably more important than what I did. I am an emotional person and take things very personally. Relationships are everything. I realized I would be better off working with someone I liked, doing something I didn’t love, than working with someone I didn’t like in a career I loved. I had to work with someone I respected and enjoyed.

During this break I went out with different friends to keep my spirits up. One of those people was Jeff Wilson, a childhood friend from a summer camp we had both attended. He had been in camping his whole life. One evening about four months into my year long sabbatical, I was out with Jeff and we were chatting. After a few drinks I blurted out, “Wouldn’t it be neat if we ran a camp together?” He looked at me in bewilderment as if to say, “What are you talking about? You wear a suit every day. You’re not a camp guy.” I explained that I was doing a lot of soul searching and felt it would be a great thing to do.

Jeff is a very calm, level-headed, intelligent guy. He responded with a casual, “That’s neat.” I was a bit put off. I was expecting him to jump at the idea. But that’s me. I tend to be impulsive. That’s the trait that had gotten me into trouble when I jumped into real estate and the techie world without a lot of thought.

About a week later I got a call from Jeff. “Hey Mark, were you serious about what you asked me that day?” he asked. “Do you really want to run a camp?” I answered with a resounding, “Yes!!” I guess he waited to see if I was still as enthusiastic after the alcohol had left my body.

Over the next few weeks we met several times to develop the idea. It turned out we shared the same ideals and goals. Our strengths complimented each other. I needed his expertise about camp, and he needed my legal and financial knowledge and experience in running a business. My background in real estate development would help in buying the property and setting up the cabins. But I made it clear I didn’t want to be relegated to the administrative part of it. “I love kids and I love interacting with people,” I told him. “I want to be totally involved.” He agreed.

Coincidentally Jeff was at a point in his life where he had just told his camp he wanted to leave and start his own camp. I believe the whole thing was meant to be.

Now I had to decide if I could work with a friend. I didn’t want to lose his friendship over a job, but as it turned out, it has only gotten stronger. I think a lot of that stems from our mutual respect for each other.

One’s own demons and the external reality of life are sometimes not even remotely close. Now I had to tell my father about my decision of becoming a children’s camp owner. I was pretty sure my father, the

successful businessman, would be more than a little disappointed. I was nervous but for the first time in my career life I grew up and made the decision rather than asking him for advice. Incredibly, he said, “Mark – Fantastic!” I was blown away. Shaking my head I remarked, “I guess I should have done this a long time ago.” My dad replied, “Yeah, you should have. What’s your problem?”

How could I have been so wrong for all those years? The surprises kept coming. Far from being judgmental, all three of my older brothers helped me map the strategy of my dream. With my family’s support I was able to quickly overcome the fear of not being good enough once I had the guts to say, “This is what I’m doing.”

Once Jeff and I decided we wanted to own a camp, our next job was to decide which one to buy. When we finally agreed on a camp the negotiations took a few months. Then we had a lot of government regulation hoops to jump through. It was a stressful year for me but as opposed to my other careers, this was a healthy stress. I was doing what I wanted and I viewed it as an exciting challenge. I kept thinking of how upset I would be if the deal fell through, as opposed to disliking the work. Deep down I realized I was truly happy.

Now my biggest concern was how I was going to relate to the staff. Here I was, a former corporate lawyer, now in a camp setting. I’ll never forget that first meeting with the staff in our first summer of operation. I told them my story, and encouraged them not to give up on their dreams. Here were a group of eighteen year olds paying attention to what this old fart had to say. After the meeting I turned to my wife with the biggest smile and proclaimed, “This is my career. I have found my calling.”

Finding my Dream Career has positively affected my other relationships. I no longer get upset at stupid little things in my family, because I am basically happy. I can let them go now. I treat my family better now, and I show more appreciation for my wife. Relationships take work, and I now have more energy to do the work. I always wanted to do it, but when I was in corporate law I constantly felt drained and had little left over for other things.

I have truly enjoyed the past six years as a camp owner. By no means does that mean I am free of stress. As I am a person who doesn’t handle stress terribly well, it’s ironic that I ended up in a career with lots of potential stress. Think of it. I am responsible for hundreds of children each summer. Their safety is in my hands, and sometimes I get anxious about that. In the first couple of years I had a tougher time handling those thoughts. But I wouldn’t trade this job for any other. I have found that any big stressor can be mitigated if you are in the right fit. Conversely, any small stress can be magnified if you dislike what you are doing. It’s all about perspective.

I feel like an uncle to many of the children whose personal growth I have witnessed over several camp seasons. I have gotten to know many of these kids well, and some have even become part of our staff. Knowing I have positively affected their lives is a fantastic feeling, and my ultimate goal; it is something I am very proud of. I can’t imagine a better career for me. Pardon the pun but now I am truly a happy camper.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

What false beliefs are you living by?

Fears are often bigger than real obstacles. Mark had no idea his family would support his dream. His first step was to announce his decision to buy a camp. He was not asking for permission. That move took courage considering he felt immense internal pressure to live up to a mythical family expectation. But, he firmly announced his goal and went for it.

What false fears are you harboring? What false beliefs are you living under? How would you feel if you discovered that the imaginary obstacle you are afraid of is a mirage? Many fear pursuing their dreams because they fear ridicule and rejection. What I have found is that people who dislike what they are doing are looking for inspiration. Some will not like it if you follow your dream. Others will support you and be inspired by you. They will thrive on your ambition.

What if you had a dream buried deep inside and stopped looking a long time ago because you thought it was gone? What if you could earn an income from your buried dream? What if it isn’t too late to go for your dream? The people in this book followed their dreams. If they did it, so can you because they are really not very different from you. I have done my best to show the personal side of the people here who are living their dreams. They have real fears. Many feel inferior in some aspect of their lives. Many were confused. Many struggled financially and some still do. Many had to find courage to face obstacles in their path and find a way around them.

They are not better than you. As individuals they have learned how to do it, and you can too. It is not easy. It takes courage and hard work but your dreams are definitely real. Prove it to yourself. Take on those false beliefs you are carrying around. Test them and see if they are real. You will find that many of your perceived obstacles are paper tigers.

Laura Koot

News Presentation Editor

“A child-like adult is not one whose development is arrested;

On the contrary. He is an adult who has given himself a chance of

continuing to develop long after most people have muffled themselves

into a cocoon of middle age habit and convention.”

Aldus Huxley

“I wanted to understand every single section of the newspaper before I masqueraded as someone who could lead this group.”

Although I never saw it, my Dream Business was in front of my nose the whole time. My father encouraged me to go into a secure field. I was young and naïve, and didn’t know any better. Thankfully I was a quick learner and discovered what I should have known all along.

I was born in Dorchester, New Brunswick, and when I was small we moved around a bit. When I was twelve we took a six-week camping trip through thirty states, setting up our tent in a different camp ground every night. We didn’t know when or if we would find a camping spot each time, but that was part of the thrill. Experiences like that nurtured my childhood curiosity and spirit of adventure.

As a child I was an avid reader, and always enjoyed both reading and writing. In grade three I did classroom reports for the school newspaper, in time becoming editor of that newspaper. I was also to become editor of my high school newspaper.

I enjoyed it so much I volunteered to be a reporter for the town newspaper. I went on interviews with their reporters, and stayed late at night because I was curious about the industry. We taped up the stories – literally. The lines on the paper were actually tape where we pasted up the story. I was involved in the composing and production end of putting a newspaper to press.

After high school I went to the University of Western Ontario. For the first two days of school I was thinking of going into speech therapy because my dad had seen lots of current job postings in that field. I listened to him because he was my father, and it seemed the sensible thing to do. I thought I was supposed to enter a respectable career after I had gotten my play period out of my system. We were kids then, and I was just doing what many of my peers did when they reached university age. It never dawned on us that we could actually do what we really loved as a career.

By the third day of school it occurred to me I could work at the student university newspaper, The Gazette. When I volunteered as a reporter, I was immediately surrounded by enthusiastic people. We had interesting conversations and I began learning new things every day. There was no teacher advisor. All the information at The Gazette had been passed along from previous generations of students. I wrote a story the first day, and returned the next day to write another one. I was being creative and having fun! I began to think this could be my career, but I still wasn’t sure.

In my first year at Western I took English and discovered I had already read just about everything on the reading list. I wasn’t getting anything out of it, so in my second year I switched to politics. They spent the first two weeks explaining what ‘liberal’ was, and I was bored out of my mind. Most of the people in my class did not know a lot about world affairs or politics. My classroom education was a big disappointment. I had worked my tail off earning enough money to get to university doing part-time work in grocery stores, libraries and museums. When I finally got there, it was an enormous letdown.

Meanwhile, the student newspaper was completely stimulating. It was there, outside of class, where I was getting my true education. I was able to interview whomever I wanted including former prime ministers and authors. I got something published in every section. I did sports stories, feature art stories and took photographs. Once I even drew something for the graphic department that made the paper. I found I was a better editor than reporter, but before I masqueraded as someone who could lead this group, I wanted to understand every single section of the newspaper.

An editor is like a conductor. She has to know how to play instruments from each section of her orchestra. After volunteering my whole first year of university, I became the news editor in second year and received a small honorarium. To supplement my income I worked in a donut shop in the winter, and in the summer I conducted bus tours.

In third year I simultaneously quit university and became one of three supervising editors for the university newspaper. I was now making real money – $20,000 per year, versus the weekly fifty dollars from working at the donut shop. We had a $600,000 operating income, and it was our responsibility to get the paper out four times a week. We had to recruit volunteer staff and hire editors. We had deadlines, controversial editorials, and crossword puzzles. If the crosswords weren’t clear we would get hundreds of complaints. It was real. Most of all, we learned to work in harmony, and the entire experience was worth more to me than any journalism school.

I enjoyed this unconventional route of education. I liked the practical aspects of learning as an apprentice because it had immediate applications. It was not just theory. Every day I worked at the newspaper I witnessed the reality of my future career.

In one particular project, I put together a special homecoming section for Western’s ninetieth anniversary reunion. I called many successful alumni and asked them to do a piece for the section. That student newspaper had a lot of thriving alumni, and I considered that one of those contacts might pay off for me one day. Little did I know how right I was.

I knew it was time to move on from the university position when the challenge was no longer there. I was now ready to intern at a city newspaper. I began looking around, but both The Globe and Mail and the Toronto Star turned me down. The New Brunswick Telegraph Journal in Saint John accepted me, but I didn’t really want to return there. I had spent my life trying to get away from my home and grow. But the offer was a good one and I couldn’t turn it down. I reasoned it was a good provincial paper and it was a four-month opportunity. It wasn’t as if I was locked in for life.

They hired me as a reporter and copy editor, but I didn’t do a single story for them. It was rare to find a young person who was interested in editing. Most young people are eager to report. I on the other hand, liked the editing part of it.

Just as I did at the university paper, I volunteered to work in as many different areas of the paper as possible in order to gain understanding of each section. I was doing what I loved and wanted to soak it all in. I worked in sports, business, art and provincial news. I even learned how to fix the computers. That was important because at a small newspaper like that computer crashes weren’t uncommon. We could avoid missing deadline if I could get it going again.

Three months into it the editor hired me as the Canada/World Editor. That meant I was in charge of finding Canadian and world stories, laying them out on the computer and finding the art to go with them. My salary rose accordingly with my higher position.

When they hired a new editor-in-chief, he came around to meet the staff. When he asked me what my goals were, I said, “I’d like to do the front page.” In a newspaper the front page is the most important page. Then he said, “The front-page editor is off on Friday, would you like to do it then?” I was shocked, but managed to say, “Absolutely,” the words fairly leaping out of my mouth.

Front page editing meant shuffling late breaking stories and getting it all done in time. I am proud to say we made deadline, which we almost never did at that newspaper. That was the beginning of my front-page duties and the end of the other person’s. Making deadline saves newspapers a lot of money and when given the opportunity, I proved I was up to the task.

I was still only twenty-one. Everyone else on the desk was older, and they were all male. I stuck out like an art story in the sports section. I was young and had a lot to learn, but fortunately I knew it, and wasn’t too proud to ask for help when I needed it. When I did, the others were very gracious with their assistance.

My forward thinking in university was about to pay off. I had kept in touch with the preeminent contacts I made while doing the Ninetieth Anniversary special section at Western. Whenever one of them came to New Brunswick to cover a special event such as a Premier ’s conference, I met them for lunch. One day I got a call from one of those contacts, Paul Wells. He told me about a new newspaper that Conrad Black was starting up in Toronto. It was to become the National Post. He said they were hiring copy editors and would I be interested? He himself had just been hired as a columnist. I knew this was the break I had been waiting for.

When I came to Toronto for the interview there were a few people typing away in an empty office space; my interviewer sat in another room. I admit to being a bit apprehensive. I didn’t know if this new paper was going to get off the ground. On one hand I had a great job in New Brunswick that I loved. I loved the people and I loved the place. But my long-term plan was to work in different newspapers across Canada, and this was Toronto. Even so, my peers in New Brunswick didn’t believe there was going to be a new newspaper. I guess Toronto’s inside news didn’t reach all the way to the east coast.

Well, I had my interview, and they offered me a job. To say I was excited would be an understatement. I was told if I didn’t work out they would send me packing. No one knew me in Toronto, and I had no security. I was the youngest person on staff, and it was anything but safe. I decided to take a risk, and embrace the unknown. My fear became my motivator.

There were many benefits to being in Toronto, including more social opportunities. In Saint John, if I didn’t like the movie playing at the one theatre, I had a choice between the two bars downtown. Yes, Toronto was looking brighter all the time.

When I finally arrived in Toronto, all my fears melted away. Other people on staff were quite welcoming and helpful. We were excited to get the new paper off the ground. Many people in the journalism industry thought we were going to fail, and even now they are calling for our demise. But that didn’t stop us; in fact it may have even motivated us even more to succeed. Our first edition came out on October 27, 1998.

I love what I do. I am doing the same thing now that I did in grade three although I didn’t realize until much later that it could become my career.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

Opportunities – Who you know is often more important than what you know

In any career I have found that networking is key. Who you know is often more important than what you know. That phrase often brings with it negative connotations. However, let us look at it in a positive way. It is the relationships that grow out of those networking opportunities that often propel people to the next step on their dream path.

Laura began developing important contacts in university and maintained those contacts through lunches and telephone conversations while back in New Brunswick. This ultimately paid off when one of those contacts recommended her for a position at a new start-up newspaper in Toronto.

There is no such thing as a self-made man or woman. We all need people to help us develop and nurture our passions and talents. Begin developing relationships with people in your field of interest. Who knows when and where those relationships will pay off for you?

Elaine Morton

Owner and Operator of an Aesthetic Salon

“Money Can’t Buy Me Love”

John Lennon and Paul McCartney

“I was living what some call

a dream life, a life of opulence.

Yet after three years I felt like I was caught in a web.

I couldn’t breathe. I had to get out.”

While doing interior design work twenty years ago I had a premonition. It involved me working in a tiny salon in a remote small town. It was located in a little house with a white picket fence and a squeaky gate. Eventually my vision came to fruition – save for the fence.

Who says premonitions can’t come true?

After high school I did not continue with my formal education. I found work as a legal secretary working for a couple of firms in downtown Toronto.

Soon after that, I married a man many years my senior, and spent the next fifteen years raising children. When my children were still in school, my husband retired. He was now very wealthy, so we moved to California to play. We traveled, went horseback riding, played bridge and joined clubs. Our lifestyle included many opulent activities.

For example, while my children were at private school we would sometimes take a private plane to Las Vegas for the day. In the beginning playing was fun. But after a while, although this may sound strange, it became horrible. I was living everyone’s fantasy life, but I realized that all of that privilege did not make me happy.

After three years of playing I felt totally empty. I was lonely, I was depressed, and I was angry because I feared there would be nothing left for me. After experiencing all that money could buy, what else was there for me to look forward to? I was afraid there was nothing purposeful for me to do. Part of the reason for my depression was I didn’t feel like I had accomplished anything myself. I had married into all this money; I hadn’t earned it. I wanted to make a difference, however, I was freeloading off someone else.

I wanted my life to have meaning, and my husband understood where I was coming from. He was very supportive of my needs, and encouraged me to do what I wanted. One day at a black-tie yacht party I found myself in conversation with Barbara, one of the only people at the party without a pretentious air about her. She turned out to be a professor at the faculty of architecture at UCLA. She taught interior design, and that interested me. During our conversation I felt myself awakening for the first time in years. I was intrigued, and I signed up for a few classes. I earned a degree in interior design and architecture.

I moved back to Toronto and started my own interior design company. I designed interiors for nursing homes. I also did a lot of work for Tridel, a condominium developer, and for various high-end residential properties. I enjoyed the technical parts of the work, which included space planning, lighting and colours, more than the details of fabric and furnishings – my partner took care of that. When my contract with Tridel ended, my business dried up.

I didn’t give up. I was now a member of the Association of Registered Designers of Ontario, and they had a referral list. Everyone on the list got a turn when work came up. When it was my turn, the job was to design the Ministry of the Attorney General’s offices.

Embracing the challenge, I designed judge’s chambers and courthouses. It was boring, horrid, mundane work. I was overqualified, and I had no interest. I no longer felt like going to work and sought out ways to waste time. I felt like I was caught in a web. I couldn’t breathe. In time they replaced me with an external consultant.

All was not lost. While I was working at the ministry, I assisted Diane Litchen, representative of Posters International, in getting an exclusive contract with the ministry. This would later prove to be quite beneficial.

I tried more interior design work for other firms. It didn’t work out because no one could pay me what I was worth. Then one day in 1991 a flyer came in the mail that stuck out from all the others. It was advertising a course in manicures and pedicures. I didn’t need the money, but I was intrigued by the idea. It just felt right.

The woman I had helped, Diane Litchen, recommended I speak with her own esthetician, Vicky Sutherland, who owned a wonderful Forest Hill salon. “Vicky is looking for a manicurist,” she told me. Indignant, I responded: “I have a degree in interior design and architecture. I’m not going to do manicures for a living.” Innocently she countered, “Why not?” Taken aback, I realized I didn’t have an answer.

I contacted Vicky, applied, and got the job. I was excited and somehow nervous. I had led a life of extreme privilege, and now I was actually nervous about applying for a job as a manicurist. I think it was because I was now on my path. It felt like an adventure, and I was earning my own way.

On the personal financial front I became careless with my investments and lost a lot of money. I joined a group that was basically an investment course for women. There I met a lady who owned a very large business in body hair removal, and she offered to make me a partner. I was interested, but I wanted to know the details before I put up any money for a partnership. When I asked her what specifically they do, she refused to tell me! She said first I had to give her the money, and only then – once I had become her partner – would she tell me the trade secrets.

When I went back and explained to Vicky what had transpired, she said, “Tell that lady to %&*$ #% #! Then she said, “I didn’t realize you were looking to open up your own business. I didn’t know you had the capital to do that.” Vicky then mentioned that her sister often got her hair done at the Nottawasaga Inn in the small town of Alliston, Ontario. She knew the owners of the inn were looking for someone to open their own independent salon. I thanked her for the referral and thought to myself, “Alliston? All the way out there?” Nonetheless I kept my mind open.

I considered the suggestion. Could I do it? Did I have the courage to leave the security of a job and start a business in another town? I’d have to give up my Saturdays to work. The more I thought about it the more nervous I became. At the same time, the more excited I grew. When I talked to the leasing manager at the inn, I learned they were looking for someone to sign a five-year lease. The only thing I had ever signed was a marriage license! Five years. What a commitment. It felt like I would be signing my life away.

So I drove out to meet with the owners. I put the convertible top down, and played my country music loud. I was continuing my adventure, and I was excited. With my hair blowing in the breeze I sang along with Dolly Parton. It felt like a whole new beginning. Even if I struggled at the salon, that would be part of my journey. The second I pulled into the Inn’s parking lot to meet with the owners, I just knew it was right. We had a great meeting, and I signed the lease without even checking if this small farm town of 7,000 strong would come in for facials and manicures. Not too smart but I had to go with my feelings – I felt it in my gut.

Everyone but my husband was down on the whole idea. My lawyer warned me of locking in long term. My accountant said that I didn’t know the market. My mother thought I was being impractical. My children thought I was crazy. And my friends exclaimed, “Alliston! Where is Alliston? Why would you want to go there?”

They all had a point. But I had to go with this feeling in my gut that told me it was the right thing to do. I realized this was my twenty-year-old premonition coming to fruition. Okay, it didn’t have the white picket fence, but it was a salon located in a small town. I was willing to accept full responsibility for my actions, and face the consequences. I was ready to take the leap.

I was determined to make it on my own, and not ride on my husband’s coat tails. I put $50,000 of my own money into the salon furnishings, the lease, hiring employees and advertising. Then in 1996 my husband died, and I was not the beneficiary of any of his money. His will instructed that it all go to trusts and other functions.

Due to hard work, my business turned a profit in the first year of operation. In the ensuing years I lost my focus, and threw money away on products and advertising. I reigned in that habit, and learned to direct my marketing costs to specific niche markets. It’s been quite a ride.

Many people wait until they retire to have fun. I did it backwards. I had my fun early on, and grew bored with it. It wasn’t all it is cracked up to be. I was living off of someone else’s money. Granted it was my husband whom I loved deeply, but I still yearned for my own purpose.

Finding my purpose was like going on an adventure. It had everything you would expect in an adventure – premonitions, heroes, villains, interesting twists and unpredictable turns. At the end of it I found my Dream Business just as I had envisioned it early on in my journey.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

The Big Lie: If only I were wealthy I’d be happy

Elaine’s story illustrates how it takes more than money to make people happy. A study of lottery winners revealed that while their level of happiness rose at the time of their win, within eight weeks that level returned to what it was prior to their big windfall.

People need a purpose to give meaning to their lives. Humans are social animals. We need each other. We are not merely hedonistic beings. Wealth may seem like a fantasy life until you live it. Elaine had the rare opportunity of living it. It was a fun ride but after three years she wanted to get off. She felt empty, lonely and depressed. At the age of forty-three she had the courage to not bemoan her situation, but to actually go and do something about it.

Don’t be fooled by false advertising. Once you are clothed, have a roof over your head and have enough to eat, anything more will not make you happier. Find a way to contribute to your community. Who would you like to help? Figure out what gives your life meaning, and then go out and do it. It is in the ‘doing’ where you will find true happiness.

Conclusion

The people in this book are ordinary people whose passions and life purpose spurred them on to do extraordinary things. They had the courage to not only dream, but to do whatever it took to make that dream a reality. As a testament to my respect, I have used the services of people in this book and have happily referred them to my friends. You see, what I found was that these people who loved what they were doing were also really good at it. And I don’t think this was merely a coincidence. If you love what you do, you will have the passion and the interest and the motivation to continually learn and grow and improve. Researching your field will no longer be a laborious task just to get it done. Rather, it will be a labour of love. That is what I discovered when I undertook the task of writing this book. It became my labour of love, and my gift to you.

The tragedy of 9/11 caused many people to sit back and take stock of their lives. If life can end so suddenly, they are saying they want to do something worthwhile while they are on this ride called planet Earth. The bad news is that high work stress increases your risk for chronic pain, illnesses, heart disease, depression and premature death. No question. I am not telling you this to be a doomsayer. I am telling you this because I want you to wake up from your slumber.

The good news is that there is a flip-side: people who are satisfied with their careers and love what they do, live longer and are less prone to illness. And you can do something about it. We are not immortal. If you dislike what you are doing, start doing something else – today. There are steps you can take right now.

Ask yourself, “What was it I always wanted to do?” “What did I enjoy doing as a child?” Look into that course you always wanted to take. Turn off the TV and take a half-hour to dream of the possibilities. Write them down.

If you need assistance in this area, as most people do, I can help guide you so you can choose the best business for you. It has to be a good match for your unique passions, purpose and pure talents. It need not be a random guess. There is a method to doing this. First you must focus on “WHAT” you want to do before you focus on the money. Most people get this backwards, which is one of the major reasons why so many people are confused in understanding their own custom-fit business.

When you do choose right you will feel more confident, creative, connected to the work and an inner calm. What I am talking about is how you live your life on a day-to-day basis. What I learned from talking to hundreds of people who love their work, is that there is no better reward than being happy with what you are doing.

Find Your Own Custom-Fit Business

Dr. Sam Gerstein, Business Coach