Myth: “I Am Too Old” --- BUSTED

FROM THE SERIES

LIVE YOUR DREAMS:
Doctor’s Orders

Revealing Evidence Of Why This Myth Is False And How You Too Can Discover And Start Your Own Unique Custom-Fit Business

Samuel Gerstein, M.D.

Foreword by JACK CANFIELD,

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Amazon Kindle Edition

Stories From the Book: Live Your Dreams: Doctor’s Orders

More Praise…

“Dr. Gerstein introduces us to 40 individuals who have accomplished the impossible to reach profound success. It is through the guidance of those who have traveled the path before us that we can learn to achieve our own life dreams. This book is a priceless treasure of tried-and-true wisdom for all ages.”

Nido Qubein, President, High Point University,

Chairman, Great Harvest Bread Co.

✦

“Dr. Gerstein has shown us, through many real examples, how we can convert dreams from aspiration to reality. If you have a dream, but have not realized it yet, read this book and inspire yourself to action!”

Dr. Lance Secretan, Author, ONE:

The Art and Practice of Conscious Leadership.

✦

“The people in these stories will serve as role models for anyone who wants to live their dreams.”

Robin Sharma, #1 Bestselling author of The Greatness Guide.

✦

“You can change your life or your attitude towards your life. We are all capable of change when we have the desire and intention to do so. This book can help coach and guide you and show you that reinventing yourself is possible.”

Bernie Siegel, MD, Author of 365 Prescriptions

For The Soul and Prescriptions For Living

✦

“It’s one thing to dream. It’s another thing to have your doctor help you turn your dream into success. Read Live Your Dreams: Doctor ’s Orders and your dreams may come true.”

W. Mitchell, C.P.A.E., Author of It's Not

What Happens to You, It's What You Do About It.

Myth: I Am Too Old --- Busted

Copyright 2018 by Dreams for Real Inc. All rights reserved. Printed in Canada. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address Dreams for Real Inc., 5863 Leslie Street, Suite 316 Toronto, Ontario, Canada M2H 1J8.

www.dreamsforreal.com

Gerstein, Samuel, 1957-

Myth: I Am Too Old --- Busted / Samuel Gerstein.

1. Small Business and Entrepreneurship (Business) I. Title.

This book is dedicated to my parents who gave me the opportunity to explore my dream, to my wife, Michelle, who believed in my dream and supported me every step along the way, and to my children, Ryan and Casey, so they will know that their dreams are real.

Contents

Disclaimer

Foreword of Live Your Dreams: Doctor's Orders by Jack Canfield

Introduction

Dr. Samuel Gerstein, M.D., Business Coach

Janice Lindsay

Scott McDiarmid

Ila Faye Turley

Cathleen Fillmore

Conclusion

Myth Busters:

Janice Lindsay - Interior Colour Designer

Scott McDiarmid - Home Renovator

Ila Faye Turley - Actor

Cathleen Fillmore - Author, Speaker and Speaker’s Bureau Owner

Disclaimer

This book was written with the intent of expanding people’s awareness of what is possible in the world of work. All of the stories of the people in the book are true accounts of their working lives up to the time of the interviews that were used as the foundation for the research for the book.

The lessons that are related by the people in the book, as well as by Dr. Gerstein, are the opinions of the aforementioned authors. This book gives no guarantee of success or of reproducing any of the results achieved by the people interviewed for this book by following the lessons outlined in the text. In fact, one of the key concepts in the book is that people’s life directions are as unique as the people themselves. No one can tell you what to do. That comes from within. Use this book to stimulate your own thought process of what may be right for you.

Every effort has been made to make this book as complete and accurate as possible. However, there may be mistakes both typographical and in content, therefore, the text should be used as a general guide and not as the ultimate source for career guidance.

The purpose of the book is to educate and entertain. The author and publisher assume no liability for any loss or damages alleged to be caused by the contents contained in the book. Please consult the appropriate professionals to obtain specific information regarding your personal situation.

Foreword of Live Your Dreams:
Doctor's Orders
by Jack Canfield

In our first Chicken Soup for the Soul book, I tell a story of visiting the Temple of the Golden Buddha in Thailand. I was astounded to learn that this awesome solid-gold Buddha smiling down at us had been covered by a thick layer of clay for hundreds of years.

Historians believe that Siamese monks applied the clay to keep their precious treasure from being looted by an invading army. Unfortunately, it appears that all the monks were killed by the invaders, and the well-kept secret of the golden Buddha remained intact until 1957 when the statue had to be moved. To everyone’s shock some clay fell off, and when the startled head monk applied a hammer and chisel, he discovered the sold-gold treasure underneath.

As we flew home I thought to myself, “We are all like that Buddha, covered with a shell of hardness created out of fear. Yet underneath, each of us is a ‘golden Buddha; a ‘golden Christ’ or a ‘golden essence’ which is our real self. Somewhere between the ages of two and nine we begin to cover up our ‘golden essence.’ Much like the monk with the hammer and the chisel, our task now is to discover our true essence once again!”

In “Live Your Dreams – Doctor’s Orders” - Dr. Gerstein does a superb job of exposing the true golden essence of forty ordinary people who all found a way to overcome their fear, chip off the clay and go for their dream. And after each story, he provides tips on how you, the reader can do it too.

There are many books out there today on how to achieve your dreams and find success. In this book Dr. Gerstein shows us what can happen when those principles are actually applied. By going beyond the tired theories of how to ‘find a good job,’ he opted to shoot for the moon and found example after example of people actually living their dreams at work. Based not on money, but on passion, joy and fulfillment - their dreams are no fantasy, but fully realized. Today, all of them are doing what they love, and their diverse and very individual stories show us all what living your dream can actually look like.

Too often in today’s society we stop short of the dream. Instead, we focus on decreasing our pain, managing our stress and treating our illnesses. But why do we stop there? After all, good health is so much more than simply a lack of illness. It is a vitality for life, an abundance of energy that is our birth right. Good health is a good attitude, a strong body and a vibrant mind.

Dr. Samuel Gerstein walks his talk. As you will see from his personal story which begins the book, he was feeling the effects of work stress himself several years ago. His own journey of self discovery led him to his dream of helping others find theirs. I believe this book will inspire you to do the same. Read it if you are feeling lost, or if your work has little meaning. Read it if you are dissatisfied with or hate your job. Read it if you have given up hope that the majority of your adult life spent at work will ever be enjoyable or fulfilling.

One of the best ways to learn anything new is through the use of role models. Dr. Gerstein has provided us with forty powerful role models in people who overcame their fears and all the reasons why they ‘couldn’t,’ and through dogged determination and creative resourceful-ness found a way to achieve their dream. And because we are all unique, the wisdom and inspiration in this book can be utilized as much by a confused young high school senior as a by disgruntled senior manager of a large downtown firm.

When Mark Victor Hansen and I created Chicken Soup for the Soul, our mission was to heal and change the world one story at a time. I am moved by the forty very special stories Dr. Gerstein has found and given to the world. They are an inspiration to all people who want to live their dream. It’s a book that is meant to be read, absorbed and acted on. If you are tired of ‘settling’ in your life, see yourself doing what these people have done, and know that if they can do it, so can you.

Jack Canfield

Co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series and

Author of The Success Principles™

Introduction

The myth that you can’t find and start a business when you are older has been passed around so long that many people simply take it as fact. But remember these are only the echoes of voices from parents, teachers, coaches, friends, culture, and media that you internalized at a young age. They may be the principles you have erroneously adopted as truth. Now is the time to separate fact from fiction.

A deeper myth buried within this myth is that people lose their desires, wants and passions as they get older. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have counselled clients from age 19 to age 79 and I have found age doesn’t change your underlying passions. If you were passionate about reading when you were 9, you will be passionate about reading at 29, 79 and even 99. If you were passionate about dance when you were 12, you will likely have a passion for dance at 77. The body may not be as willing but the desire lives on.

The old archetype narrative went something like this: Once people hit 65 they needed to retire so they can enjoy life by sleeping in, reading, watching TV, and perhaps some fishing and golfing. Some would even benefit if you put them in a senior’s residence so they can speak to other seniors. Sound familiar? The only problem with this story is that now we know that it is ageism. It is prejudice and discriminates against people because they are a certain age.

The truth is that the whole idea of retirement was a political ploy. In 1889, German Chancellor Otto Von Bismarck, created a retirement system where the government would provide for a lot of their needs. However, at that era, few people lived that long so he was safe in making this promise. American president Franklin Delano Roosevelt, copied that program with the Social Security Act in 1935 but made the official retirement age at 65. He too was safe because life expectancy for American men was around 58 at the time.

Medical studies have shown that this sedentary lifestyle is actually unhealthy for people at any age. A more balanced, active life is now recommended not only for physical health but has been shown to boost people mentally, emotionally and socially. I believe it will become a moot point because baby boomers, who are now in this age group, will not play by these rules. They have always been rule breakers and will continue to do so. They are already beating the drums to push retirement age to 70 and beyond.

Older people, octogenarians and even nonagenarians, have passions, goals, curiousities, sexual desires, hobbies and still want to contribute to society in a meaningful way. George Burns, a famous American stand-up comedian was asked why he booked a gig on his 100th birthday. His answer, “because then I will live that long”. He almost made it – he died at 99 years young and he was doing stand-up right until the end of his life. And why shouldn’t he? He enjoyed what he was doing. If you love what you do why retire? You may want to work less but why retire?

In this book you will read the true stories of people who have personally debunked this myth. The people in this book are proof that you can overcome this fear.

In the following stories you’ll witness how these late bloomers learned to thrive when they followed their passions. Each of these inspiring individuals had to overcome at least one major challenge. To name a couple, Cathleen Fillmore endured abusive relationships with men and then came face-to-face with a diagnosis of ovarian cancer at age 50. She said she had two paths: One path was inertia, disability and death. The other path was uncertain and unclear but she knew it was her only chance. Ila Faye Turley had already given up on her dream of becoming an actor. But after witnessing a friend die, she retuned to it in earnest at forty years of age.

How did they do it? The answers are in the details of the stories. I also pick out one key lesson from each story to help you apply it to your own life.

You are not alone in your quest for living your dream. The only difference between the people in this book and you may be that the former group have found their Dream Business and taken the baby steps in their journey and you haven’t yet. Their fires are burning strong and yours maybe simmering embers. Let the people in this book help rekindle your own inner flame. See how they overcame their struggles, and by association, let them show you how you can overcome yours.

They did it. Now it’s your turn.

Follow Your Dreams

Sam Gerstein

Dr. Samuel Gerstein, M.D., Business Coach

The Author’s Story:

As an emergency physician it was my job to help people in pain. I had been doing that for fifteen years, doing the very best I could for my patients. At times I overlooked my own pain, and ignored the growing void inside of me, hiding behind a façade that everything was going well. However, the longer I ignored it, the larger the void became, and the harder it became to ignore it.

I now understand a universal law: The universe has lessons to teach everyone. If you don’t get the lesson the first time it will increase the intensity of the lesson until you have to pay attention. I finally got my lesson when the universe sent a startling coincidence onto my path.

In his bestselling book The Celestine Prophecy, author James Redfield speaks about nine insights the human race will discover as it enters the era of spiritual awareness. The first insight is to pay attention to mysterious coincidences. He says once you interpret these sudden, synchronistic events, they will lead you to your destiny. I don’t know about the validity of all the insights he suggests, but I have witnessed some startling scenes of synchronicity in my own life, as well as in the lives of the people whose stories I share in this book.

About nine years ago I realized I was growing frustrated at work and wanted something more. I had seen so much despair in people who had given up on themselves, and I knew I could do more for them. This angst carried over to my family life where small things began to irritate me. I knew this because one summer while on vacation I found myself in a heated argument with my wife Michelle, over a seemingly negligible matter. I was on a break for some R&R, and here I was arguing and upset over some small matter. Maybe I didn’t really need a break. Maybe what I needed was to scratch that itch that had been nagging at me for some time.

I told Michelle I had felt myself to be very tense lately, and maybe a massage would help relax me. Prior to that I had received maybe two paid massages in my life, so it certainly wasn’t a part of my routine. Years before someone had told me about a specific spa downtown. We had tickets to go to a Blue Jays baseball game the same day so, on the spur of the moment, I made a reservation to go to that particular spa right before the game. Michelle took advantage of my plan and made an appointment herself for a manicure, pedicure and facial.

After my massage and while waiting for my wife, I went to the counter to pass the time. I picked up what looked like an interesting book, bought it and promptly headed to the hot tub to begin reading. I couldn’t put it down and was almost a prune when I emerged.

The book was called Passionate Longevity, by Elaine Dembe, and the concepts in the book enthralled me. In it she talked about the life lessons of elderly people as they looked back over their lives. They spoke about what was truly meaningful for them, and about things they would and wouldn’t do if they had the chance to live over again.

We went to the ball game, but I couldn’t take my mind off that book and how it related to my life. Was I really doing what I wanted? Would I regret it when I was in my eighties? I couldn’t tell you the score of the game, but I finished the book the next day. I was so inspired I wanted to call the author and speak with her. Now there were dozens of books on spirituality, personal development and motivation in the bookstores at the time, most of them by American authors. I could have chosen any one of those best sellers in the spa that day but it was hers I picked up. When I read that the author worked and lived in Toronto not far from me, I was floored.

I contacted Elaine immediately and she happily agreed to speak to me. It happened that I was suffering from some back pain at the time. It turned out that Elaine was also a chiropractor, and one very energetic lady. I met with her several times for my back, and also to talk to her about my frustrations. She suggested I explore two centres in the United States to continue my journey. When I received their brochures, one course stood out above the rest so I signed up for it immediately. It was called Lifeshaping, and was a big factor in how I changed my life.

The content and facilitator of the course were excellent. However, it was as much about me being ready to hear the message that was instrumental in changing my life direction. That old Buddhist saying, when the pupil is ready the teacher appears, really is true. Over the next two summers I ended up assisting and then co-facilitating the course with its creator, Ingrid Brendenburg, and that was what got me started on the path to what I am doing now.

I decided to start listening to my heart and begin doing what feels good and right to me. It only made sense that if I wanted others to do that, I should be doing it myself. My intention was to not evaluate myself on the results as I have done for so many things in my life, but rather to simply enjoy the process.

In the transition period I began taking extra courses that interested me. I didn’t have a specific plan; I just followed where my passions led me. I took a psychology course in NLP – (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and became a master practitioner. I took an Adult Education Facilitation course, joined a Toastmasters Club and became a local member of CAPS – the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers in Toronto. I also had fun doing some improvisational acting at Second City. Over the next three years I juggled these extracurricular activities while continuing to work in the ER, and spending time with my young family. I simply trusted I was moving in the right direction because I was following my heart.

I began reading more of Dr. Abraham Maslow’s and Dr. Carl Roger ’s theories of self-actualization, and about people reaching their full potential and how they did it. Somewhere in there I began writing material to help people follow their dreams.

Shortly thereafter I dug into my savings to create my own company, Dreams For Real Incorporated. For the first four years our family cut back on some nonessentials like vacations, and I picked up some extra shifts in the ER to help with the expenses.

After having worked in socialized medicine for so long I knew I had to become skilled in the world of business. I took marketing courses to help me promote my seminars and my professional speaking services. They showed me ways to make my own dream real, and turn it into a viable business. I gave free speeches to several community service organizations like the Rotary Club. I did my first no-fee seminar out of my home. The anxiety I felt before the seminar was nothing compared to the exhilaration I experienced after it was done. I would never have known that if I had just sat back and hoped it would happen. I had to actually take action.

I did a lot on my own, and I take great pride in going after my goal and achieving it. But I soon realized I would go a lot further, a lot faster if I had help. Besides, it would be more fun having others with whom to share my experiences. I began asking for help.

I started a Mastermind group comprised of like-minded people who had information they wanted to share with others. Whenever I felt frightened or worried I opened up to them. I was no longer hiding behind the façade that everything was going well. Besides, no one had ever believed it anyway. I had just been fooling myself, and was really afraid to admit I had challenges too. I found that just naming them and

talking about them in front of my friends was a huge relief. The people in that group have been a tremendous resource for support and assistance.

I soon realized I could not do it all, and began delegating parts of my business I had no interest in. For me this included computer and web-based issues and publishing. I focused on what I loved – writing about living your dreams and helping other people do it.

Despite all of this, I realized something was still missing. This time I was conscious to the message, and paid attention. I had woken up. Through my work I was now delivering to people a lot of important information and techniques, but I was lacking key role models for following one’s dreams. As Yogi Berra said, “You've got to be careful if you don't know where you're going 'cause you might not get there.”

From my patients, I had many role models for the mental and physical effects of work stress. But I realized I had very little in the way of what dreams look like in the real world once they’ve been manifested and realized.

That was it! That was the missing ingredient. I knew I had to go out and find people who were living their dreams and get their stories before I could really show others how to do it. It made so much sense. To the naysayers, they would be living proof that it was possible. To the curious, they would be an enigma. And to the people who were secretly or openly interested in living their own dreams, they would be a roadmap.

And so I began what I didn’t realize would become a huge undertaking. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I interviewed over two hundred people, over a hundred of which were formal meetings. I drove to wherever they worked or lived, at any hour that was convenient to them. My journey took me to many corners of Toronto and its neighbouring cities and towns. Each and every person I met inspired me in some way, and I knew they would inspire others too. It took me two-and-a-half years to complete the interviews, and another year-and-a-half to transcribe them and write this book. I did this work around my family times and while continuing my ER duties at the hospital. I enjoyed every minute of it.

Pouring over the notes I had taken, I teased out the key common themes to how the people who were living their dreams had actually done it. Once that was done, I put it all together in a program, and then used that program to overhaul my seminars. It also became the cornerstone for setting up my own psychotherapy practice, where I help individuals overcome their personal struggles to follow their own true path.

My biggest obstacle was there was no roadmap to follow to do this. Unlike medical training, there was no curriculum to follow and no test with which to measure my competencies. There were weeks when I didn’t have any leads for where I would find the next person to interview in their dream business. I was often disappointed and dejected. At those times my wife would step up to the plate and reassure me this was only a temporary lull. My Mastermind group was a tremendous support as well.

What kept me motivated was my belief in what I was doing, and my enthusiasm to help others live their dreams. I have witnessed so much despair in my years at the hospital, and I’ve been so saddened watching people give up on themselves, not realizing they could live their life by following their own script. I would think of the quizzical looks on the faces of the people I asked about their dreams – people who had never even been asked what they wanted, who had been told what they should be doing. I knew it wasn’t right, and they could be so much happier if they were true to themselves. I refused to let my despair win, and I vowed not to give up.

On my good days I remembered the other side of the coin of not having a set path to follow. I reminded myself I could be creative and follow my own instincts. I was not hamstrung by other people’s agendas. I was free to do what I thought was best for my clients. The obstacle that I was facing, having no roadmap or set course to follow, was inherently also a benefit.

I can say in all honesty that I now feel more complete in my vocation as a doctor – as a healer. I help people both proactively and reactively. I know that in stress-related diseases there is often a five- to ten-year lag time between emotional distress and the physical manifestation of that stress. I feel that I now have more balance in my life, and I’m more at peace with myself. I know I am doing what I love because no one has to tell me to do it.

I look forward to creating better techniques to help people achieve their Dream Goals. After working in the ER and playing with my young children, I often work in my home office for hours some evenings. It is definitely a labour of love. I also know it is a good fit because I continually talk to my wife about ideas I have for such and such a seminar or book. Sometimes I forget that it’s my dream and not hers. Sometimes I go on a tad too much – to the point where she is the one needing a break from my dream. I am having so much fun I don’t even consider it work.

It took me forty years to hear the true message of what my heart had been whispering to me all along. It was a “coincidence” that woke me up. You can bet that I have been paying close attention ever since.

“Dreams without action are fantasy. Actions without dreams are empty. Dreams combined with actions manifest one’s destiny.”

Samuel Gerstein

Janice Lindsay

Interior Colour Designer

“You will either step forward into growth, or step back into safety.”

Abraham Maslow

“Popping people’s corks about colour and getting them rolling and excited is just the best feeling for me. I am allowing their passion to come out of the bottle.”

I believe if you ask a question the answer will eventually come to you. It’s as if the question points your subconscious in the right direction. Things start to happen almost without you. Then I created a list of goals – things I wanted in my career, and did whatever I had to do to make it happen.

I grew up in Stratford, Ontario, the home of Shakespearean theatre. My dad was a surgeon and my mom, who was trained as a social worker, was a full time mom. I was always surrounded by the arts. I grew up with opera and other classical music on in our house. As a child I would draw, paint and sew. I thought of becoming an artist when I got older, but I didn’t like the loneliness of the craft.

I studied art and art history at the University of Toronto. One summer I landed a job in the prop shop of Stratford Shakespearean Theatre. I loved the work. I was creating, being artistic and working in a room with about fifteen other energetic artistic people with whom I could collaborate. It was a beautiful blend of collaborative and independent efforts. The music would be on while we worked our respective crafts. It was a very creative and happy time for me.

After I graduated I intended to study theatre, but then The Stratford Festival called and asked me to come and dye for them. When I told them I didn’t know how, they said I was great with colour and they’d teach me the rest, so I accepted.

Other people saw my talent long before I saw it. Working with colour came so naturally for me I didn’t realize it was an expertise I could market. In theatre, colour sets the mood of the scene, and the colour of the costumes reveals the character. Colour was a language I was always speaking in theatre.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) I was promoted to design assistant and then to theatre designer, where my responsibilities included managing people and budgets. People just assumed because I had designed for a theatre like the Stratford Festival that I was good at it. I did this for ten years even though I knew in the back of my mind I was getting away from my passion for art. Yet it educated me in other areas of theatre. It taught me how to manage people, budgets and time, and that put me in good stead when it came time to look for my Dream Business.

With two children and a mortgage to pay, I needed more money. Theatre is always a labour of love. I needed a career where I could earn more than the nanny who was caring for my children so I parlayed the theatre experience into becoming a stylist for photographers. My role was to set up shots for them. This entailed everything from the finding and setting up the props, to selecting the clothes and, sometimes, to choosing people off the street who fit the look the photographer needed. The work was not as satisfying as theatre design, but my income went up about four hundred percent.

I still had dreams of focusing on colour as a career, and began seriously thinking of ways to earn a good income doing what I really loved. My time management skills came in handy as I scheduled my career development around my work as a photographer ’s stylist.

I developed my game plan. Often I was booked for three to seven days in a row as a stylist. Then I would have some time off. I used that time off to plan my next move. I set goals and an agenda each week, but that didn’t mean I had to strictly adhere to it. Some weeks played out to their own rhythm, and I learned to go with the flow. However, I can’t imagine how chaotic my schedule would have been if I’d made no plans at all.

Step one in my plan on becoming an interior colour designer was to find a magazine to actually pay me to do the needed research on starting this new career. I would write about what I learned, and my phone number would be included at the end of this column.

I was doing freelance work as a stylist for Canadian House and Home Magazine. One day I approached them saying I thought the magazine could use some more colour commentary – figuratively and literally. Next thing I knew they hired me as a colour columnist. Step one was now in place! Some people say I was the first in Toronto to bring colour consulting as a career to people’s attention; that I invented the career.

Traditionally architects have handled colour in their buildings, and often badly because they are trained in shape and form more than in colour. Interior designers have also handled colour consulting, but they have tended to be quite conservative. If they are going to charge a lot of money for their services, they don’t want to shock their clients. In our society we have this notion that neutral colours are more elegant, and bolder colours are tacky and cheap. I don’t see colour that way. I see it as an expression of people’s emotional state. I first ask people how they want their room to feel, and then I translate that into colour. Colour does not have to be colourful.

When I landed the column, I was elated. I was actually getting paid for doing what I love! My phone number at the end launched my new career as a colour consultant. I started getting calls from people asking me to do colour consultations for their homes, and all while I was still doing my work for photographers. I did this for the next two years, and it was just incredible.

I found that once I had set my goal and focused on it, things began to fall into place. As my new business took off, calls from the photographers began to diminish as they perceived my waning interest. Again it was as if, by laying in some ground work, goals and questions to be answered, things started happening without my making them happen. Within five months I had made the transition to colour consultant. That was a scary time because my income dropped, but it was manageable. It took me only two years to surpass my former income as a stylist, and it has been climbing ever since.

As I gained experience in this field I was better able to tune into my client’s perspective and needs. It wasn’t about me. I shifted away from telling people what to do, to enabling them to tell me what they want and building colour ideas from there – like a translator.

I enjoy giving people value. Those who are most critical or skeptical may have the greatest need, and I am more patient with them. The toughest clients are those who have very few things in their home – no art, no books, no colour. They have allowed others to block their true selves. Letting people know how smart they really are is the most satisfying part of this job. People intuitively know so much about themselves and their own needs.

I see my role as popping people’s corks and allowing their passion to come out of the bottle. It’s a thrill to watch people get excited about colour and to watch colour excite them. It’s almost like therapy. At the end of some of my best consultations, people wonder why they needed me. It felt as if they had the ideas inside themselves all along; I just brought it to the surface. Sometimes I have to do a bit of hand holding and encourage them to try it by saying, “What is the worst thing that could happen if you dislike the colour? Just get out the roller and paint it over. Colour is important but it isn’t so serious. We are not discussing open heart surgery.” That puts them at ease.

I have no regrets about starting this career so late. Everything I did before has prepared me for how I approach my current career. I wouldn’t be who I am, and doing it the way I am, if I had started sooner. It was an evolution. Everything is built on what came before.

I began my interior colour design career at the age of forty-five. This has allowed me to be bolder, and try things that might be a little outside the box. I no longer worry about being perfect, knowing everything as I did when I was younger. It is actually quite freeing.

For instance, I am quite comfortable saying, “I don’t know” – when I don’t. I might have tried to look smarter at a younger age. I am more relaxed now, and that helps my clients relax. During one consultation I was just getting acquainted with the lady and her tastes, when the husband came home and asked suspiciously what colour I thought the room should be. “I haven’t got a clue yet,” I replied. “I need to know you and your wife’s likes and dislikes first. What colour were you thinking of?” He seemed to relax after that.

I bring a humanity that comes with maturity. I know about kids, I know about pets, I know about life. Half of the job is communicating with my clients and getting them to relax and open up. It’s not just about being an artist. At fifty-one I am still excited about my career, and I’m always learning.

An example of a good learning experience came when the owner of an apartment building hired me to do a colour consultation for painting his below ground floor. He wanted to market to a new kind of tenant and wanted to spruce things up a bit. I put some bold colours on one side of the hallway and left the other side neutral. I thought it was a big improvement over the previous pale grey and washed out whites, and the owner thought it looked pretty good too.

The reaction from the tenants, however, was nothing short of ballistic. They were angry and thought the colours were outrageous and hideous. I felt bad because I enjoy lifting people’s spirits with my colour choices, and their spirits were anything but uplifted. I felt like a failure. I tend to take my successes for granted, and focus on what goes wrong. I learned a valuable lesson: People don’t like big changes. You can’t get people who are accustomed to eating Pablum, to start eating spicy Mexican food. You have to start small – perhaps getting them to first put a little pepper on their meal before introducing the more robust tastes. That learning experience has become a cornerstone of my work.

I stated that I wanted to be an artist as a child. In some ways I am now. When I am helping someone add colour to their home it’s almost as if their entire house becomes a painting, and each part has to relate to the other parts of the home.

I do a monthly column for The Globe & Mail called “Rooms that Work.” That got me a TV spot on CityLine, which turned into a regular monthly appearance. I am also writing a book on colour. My enthusiasm for my work grows with each passing year.

I used to think if I was really good at what I was doing, people would just flood to me. I have since realized I have to continuously create new ways to sell myself, and it all has to come from within. But it’s a lot easier when that “within” is filled with love for what I am doing.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

Look at the advantages of maturity.

Janice has a calmness about her, and she made me feel comfortable during our interview. It was a pleasure speaking with her, and I got to see first hand how she puts people at ease. I felt like I could just be myself because she was so comfortable in her own skin. That acceptance and patience often only comes with the wisdom of maturity.

When we are young we have a lot of what the Chinese refer to as yang energy. We want to go out and do something, or tell people how to do things. That energy is abundant and can be overwhelming at times. Janice’s work requires much yin energy. She has to be receptive to what her clients are really telling her. She has to tune into her clients and really listen to their needs so she can translate these into their corresponding colours. This active listening often takes years to develop and people of mature age have an advantage in this arena, although they can’t necessarily lay claim to it just because they have a few years behind them.

Look at the advantages of your age. If you are young, middle aged (which grows every year) or older, there are unique benefits in each category. Each category will attract different types of markets. Don’t count yourself out if you are mature, you have a lot more to offer than you think. Janice may not have been as good in her Dream Business had she taken it up in her twenties. Her life experiences gave her an advantage that her clients now appreciate.

Scott McDiarmid

Home Renovator

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

Seneca

“My wife was very supportive of my career transition. Without her behind me it would have been tough to succeed.”

I have always enjoyed working with my hands. Throughout my school years you could find me tinkering with electronics, building AM radios and making electronic meters. In woodworking class I would build tables, stands and chessboards. In metal shop I made a mini-bike and a go-cart.

It took me twenty years to realize that my childhood passions were where my dreams could be found. It was there all along. I was simply not aware of it.

As a teen I worked part-time in a stereo store while going to school to become an electrician. Then in 1977, my last year of high school, there was a seven-month electrician’s strike, which resulted in a one-year waiting period for apprenticeship. That’s when I decided to work full-time at the stereo store.

Switching directions, I enrolled at York University in a business program. After graduation I moved to the wholesale end of electronics sales and became the sales representative for different manufacturers. I started my own home electronics business as a ‘Rep-ing’ agency. From my home office I traveled to stereo stores and asked them to carry the products I represented. I worked on straight commission and sold car audios and home stereo equipment for all the big manufacturers. I didn’t have children yet so I still had the freedom to travel. Being self-employed taught me how to budget, run a home office and manage my time. These skills would become useful later when I finally realized what I truly wanted to do with my life.

Over time, I grew tired of being on the road and weary of the profession. Needing a change I took on the role of director for a computer reseller, and managed the Canadian retail division. I was responsible for staff hiring, purchasing and promotions. I was earning over $100,000, and I enjoyed the selling aspect of my job, but missed working with my hands. I partially satisfied that need outside of work. I finished our basement and did odd fix-it jobs around the house and for my friends.

Over a period of fifteen years, I slowly lost enthusiasm, and became more and more dissatisfied with work. I would get excited when a new product was released, but after a few months it was the same old grind. I stayed because I didn’t know what else to do. Five years ago I decided to approach headhunters and career counselors for advice. The headhunters wanted to keep me in the same role, but the career counselor was more helpful.

When I was thinking forward to what I wanted to do with myself, I looked back to my early years. When I was younger, because I enjoyed working with my hands so much, I also loved to cook. My mother would go up to the cottage each summer and I stayed in the city and experimented with new recipes. I considered cooking as a career that would satisfy my need to work with my hands, but my family was now a priority for me, and the hours were not for me. A good friend who owned a restaurant talked me out of this choice for that very reason.

Carpentry was my next option. Cooking and carpentry don’t seem related at first, but both careers actually require envisioning a final product. I am a visual person and have the ability to see completed projects in the planning stages. Both fields involved working with my hands, and finishing the work in a timely manner. For carpentry, that would be a completed renovation; for cooking it would be a five-course meal.

After remaining undecided for a few years, I became seriously depressed. I lacked energy and drive and slept in a lot. I was no longer receiving recognition at work because I was underperforming. It was awful. When I reached this stage I knew I had to get out.

Because I proactively arranged for a severance package, I took a much needed year off. We had four children, from four to eight years old. I spent a lot of time with them and with my wife, while I tried to figure out what to do. I had never been able to do this before. For the first time I was in a position to do exactly what I wanted. I no longer felt like I had to work for financial reasons or in the areas in which I was experienced. Out of much soul searching and many discussions with my wife, I decided to pursue my first passion – the home renovation business. I would finally be working with my hands again.

I researched the market ahead of time. I spoke with contractors and went to several home shows to see what the demands were. I discovered that most the new homes being built in my neighbourhood didn’t have finished basements. I read about the current trend where extended families live under one roof. People were fixing up their houses rather than moving into new or bigger ones. I knew that renovations would be a booming business for at least the next seven years.

I cashed in my stock options and purchased professional-quality tools. I had a six-month cushion to get my company rolling. If I became desperate, I could draw on my RRSP savings. I didn’t want to get a bank loan because the interest could have hurt me and result in my downfall.

I was willing to change our lifestyle and so was my family. We downsized our home and I drove my car a few years longer than what I was accustomed. My wife and I agreed on a five-year trial period. If in five years, I hadn’t grown my business to where it could meet our needs, I would go back to my old business. We were all committed to the five years.

I still had some reservations about my ability to do it. With the encouragement from my wife and mother, and with all of the research I had done on my potential target market, I gained confidence in my ability to be financially successful. Having my family behind me was a big boost in my career transition. Without their support it would have been very tough.

I was never afraid to seek out successful people to answer any question I had. I also surrounded myself with positive people because I am a person who sees the glass half-full. I want to be, and choose to be, around like-minded people. I never knew when I might need someone’s help, so I joined a networking group to have access to professionals with different areas of expertise.

I was excited to begin, and was able to build my business on referrals. My clients seemed very satisfied with my work. If there was a problem I attended to it immediately. One time a client called to tell me there was a leak in the basement bathroom I had built. I sought advice from an excellent plumber in my networking circle, and repaired the problem quickly. The client appreciated my direct attention to the matter.

It was certainly a struggle at the beginning. I only drew out $4,000 and $9,000 from the business in salary for the first two years, respectively. Then, after two years, things began really clicking.

One of my clients wanted to turn part of her house into a rental unit, and she was on a tight budget. I installed a kitchen upstairs, which was a challenging job because there was no plumbing in that bedroom. But I finished the work on time and even suggested where she could save money, and where she could spend it afterwards when her rental income started.

She saw that I was wanted to help her save money. To my surprise, when I gave her the invoice she rounded it up. It is so gratifying knowing I had a satisfied customer, because this is also the best source for more referrals too.

I am making a lot less money today than I was when I worked as the director for the computer company. In spite of that, I have never been more satisfied at work. And I know I will earn a lot more as I grow my business. Switching to this career is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

Spend some time now to reap the greater benefits of your long term vision.

Many people are scared of running their own business because it lacks the guarantee of steady pay. The prospect of going out and having to constantly drum up business can be extremely intimidating. This is what prevents many hobbyists from turning their pastime into a career.

Granted, some people want to keep their hobby a hobby. They don’t want to make it a business. They enjoy the leisure of doing what they want when they want and at their own pace. They don’t want to work for other people. If that is the case I wouldn’t recommend turning it into a career. It will sabotage both the career and the hobby.

However, if you are motivated to please others with your talent or would enjoy selling your labour of love, do not allow the fear of marketing yourself to stop you from pursuing your dreams. Marketing is a skill that can be learned. There are hundreds of books and websites that offer tips on marketing. There are probably dozens of marketing experts in your area who can teach you how to get your small business off the ground.

If you have the will and the desire to do what you love as a career you can find the way to make it work. There is a short-term mindset in society. As a whole we don’t put away enough savings for retirement early enough. We don’t look at what our eating and exercise habits of today will do for our health in ten or twenty years. And we don’t think what our careers will look like in ten or twenty years. Many of us do it backwards – we look at the money we need to support our lifestyles today and then look for any job that supports that need. This is how many people find themselves in a job they dislike for the rest of their working lives. Don’t sell yourself short for a measly three to five years of earnings. This is the time it may take to get your new career moving well.

You have to adjust your sights towards a more long-term approach – but the payoffs are tremendous. You can still look at your lifestyle and the income required to maintain it. Then stop and take some time to discover what you love to do. It’s a lot easier to take the time here than waiting until you have invested years to an area you dislike. You may need a business coach to assist you. Don’t skimp on this investment. It could be one of the most important endeavors of your life. Once you know the area you’d love to get into, look a few years down the road for a way to produce the income from that field that matches your lifestyle requirements.

If you love carpentry and you only require an hourly wage of thirty five dollars then working for someone else will suffice. If you want to earn upwards of eighty dollars to ninety dollars hourly or more, you may wish to look into starting your own business. Other choices include consulting, doing higher-end work, writing a newspaper column on carpentry or hosting radio and/or television shows doling out advice about carpentry projects.

Give yourself three to five years to get your business going. Be patient at the beginning. The average work life is forty years. (Even that is being extended as more and more people are choosing to work well past the old paradigm of retirement at sixty-five years old. That is because people at sixty-five are a lot healthier now than they were when that arbitrary retirement age was first chosen. In addition, the idea of living your Dream Business was not even considered a possibility to most people back then) What is three to five years out of forty? You may have to endure a few years of alternate lifestyle choices. However if that enables you to enjoy thirty-five years of a happy prosperous career isn’t the trade-off worth it?

Even if you only have twenty years left in your working life, you will probably be able to accelerate the growth phase because of the transferable skills you developed. Many of you will have some equity built up in your home or other investments. You can draw on these funds as bridge financing to support your dream. Is it worth spending a few years developing your passion if it allows you to enjoy seventeen years doing what you love? Only you can answer that question.

Ila Faye Turley

Actor

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”

Abraham Lincoln

“I was not being myself and the worst part was that I felt stuck. Then something happened that instantly shook me out of my comatose state.”

At college in Calgary I studied broadcasting and journalism. At that time the “arts” scene was fun and exciting but it was also rampant with drugs and alcohol. Afraid of being drawn into that life, I left it. I might have stuck with it if my parents had supported me in acting, but their expectations for their daughter included a “respectable” career. Acting just didn’t fit into their definition of respectable. It would be many years before I was able to return to my first career choice, and even then people told me it was wrong, but for a completely different reason.

If I wasn’t going to be an actor, my second choice was to become an athletic trainer. As a student I worked with the Calgary Stampeders professional football team. I became involved in many sporting events hosted by the university such as synchronized swimming, the Olympic Trials and The University Games. Working with these motivated athletes was really a thrill. But in the 1970s, there was no program for the athletic training field in Canada. I could have gone to the U.S., but that would have cost a lot of money. So I tossed out that dream as well. Strike two.

Undaunted, I decided to get a registered nursing degree. My plan was to bring credibility of medical knowledge when I applied for careers working with athletes. And then life’s realities got in the way. At the time that was the excuse I used.

By my mid-twenties I was married and had two children. My husband was away a lot working the oil fields in the Northwest Territories, and we divorced soon after the birth of our second child. I had to start thinking practically and nursing pays a lot more than being an athletic trainer. I now had two children to raise on my own, and I needed the money. I took a job in general nursing, and then moved to a position at a trauma centre in 1988. I remained there for thirteen years, and my aspirations for working with athletes slowly faded into the background.

The pay was good but the cost was high. I was tired all the time. Ironically, helping other sick people in this setting was making me sick. I often didn’t want to get out of bed to go to work. My sick time went up as my happiness went down. I found myself yelling at my kids with very little provocation. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy helping patients, I did. I liked helping people in need and seeing the quick successful results that often occur in a trauma centre. But I found the rules very stifling, and it was not acceptable to display your feelings in the culture of the hospital setting. I was not being true to myself, and the worst part was I felt totally stuck.

Then something happened that instantly shook me out of my comatose state. The husband of a nurse in my department was brought in by ambulance one day, having suffered a seizure. A negative brain CT scan was reassuring, and he was sent home. However, over the next few months his personality began to change. He became more and more irritable, and was fired from his job. Then he had a second seizure. This time, a more penetrating magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scan was ordered because no cause had yet been found for his changed behaviour. The result was shocking. The MRI revealed a deep brain tumor inaccessible to surgery. Three weeks later, he was dead.

That was a wake-up call for me. It was 1996 and I was now forty-one. In an instant I realized if that could happen to him, a seemingly healthy man in midlife, it could happen to me. I knew inside I must not put off my dream any longer.

I had always been so creative. I loved to act, and had been involved in plays and writing stories since I was five years old. Imagine, I thought. I gave all that up because of what other people were doing, (drugs) or not doing, (my parents who didn’t support me).

My only regret is not listening to myself back then, and instead allowing other people to influence me. But no more! For the first time in my life I realized just how precious our time is here on this earth. I didn’t care how old I was. I was going for my dream.

I immediately signed up for an acting course. I was excited to begin, but right from the very first class I discovered it was not going to be easy. The teacher asked us, “Who here expects to be working in this industry?” Like everyone else, I naturally put up my hand. Then she continued; “Every female over twenty-five, put your hand down. Every male keep your hand up. As for the rest of the females, only ten percent of you will find work.”

Well, I thought to myself, I’m here to stay. I’m giving it my best shot. She can’t discourage me that easily. She harassed me in every class. If this was an attempt to see if I had the mental fortitude to stick it out. It was a very crude way of doing it and I grew to hate her. But I went back for another class with her because her acting school was the only one accredited in Calgary. I wanted to learn from the best, and I was damned if I was going to allow her to stop me.

I began to audition around town and within a year had completed three big roles in community theatre. Word of my abilities began to slowly seep out, and then semi-professional theatres started calling me for auditions.

It was now 2001, and I was ready for the next step. If I really wanted to make it as an actor I had to be where the action was, and that was Toronto. My two children were now eighteen and twenty, and out of the house. There was nothing holding me back, and I was pretty excited.

Before I made my move I found a Toronto hospital that agreed to hire me part-time. That would provide me with an income while I went out and pursued my dream. I would not be desperate, and I could still take acting courses and continue my learning.

Through these courses I met Kevin McCormack, an inspirational teacher and an artistic director who started his own theatre company. He accepted me into his conservatory company, and I have worked steadily in semi-professional theater and independent films ever since.

I have given myself ten years to succeed or fail in this industry. That is about how long it took me to feel really comfortable in nursing. There is no such thing as an overnight success. I will not pressure myself out of the industry. I will give myself ample time to learn and grow in the field I love. I will do it. I am doing it. Life is too short not to go for it.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

Real dreamers are more practical than so called realistic people.

It irks me when people tell me they have to face reality, and have no time for their dreams. They have serious responsibilities, mortgages to pay and a family to look after. I tell them that going for your dreams is not the same as fantasizing about your life. The latter is for fairy tales while the former requires hard work, as can be seen by the stories in this book. Hans Selye, the ‘Father of Stress’ and the physician who first described the effects of stress on our health, once said, “The practical and realistic people in the world are not so practical and realistic in the long run of life, as the dreamers who pursue their dreams.”

As you can see, the quiet whispers of Ila Faye’s original passion were persistent, and she finally listened to her own voice. Think of the all of the experiences she may have enjoyed had she been less “practical” and followed her heart. She can’t pull back the time, but you can learn from her lesson.

Cathleen Fillmore

Author, Speaker and Speaker’s Bureau Owner

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I owe my life to books. I almost died discovering that.”

I owe my life to books. Books have gotten me through so many hardships. Writing made me happy; it was a talent and my passion. And then I forgot. I forgot my talent, and my passion, and I forgot what made me happy as I abdicated my rights and interests in favour of trying to make others happy. Fortunately, I finally realized no one can make anyone else happy until they are happy with themselves. It was a tad late but I remembered.

I was born in New Brunswick and went to boarding school with my siblings. By the time I was five I could read and write. I could lose myself in fiction, and won prizes for my writing and poetry. In grade three I won a prize for a poem I had composed, and my music teacher used it as lyrics for a song. Then one day in grade four, my English teacher ridiculed my punctuation in front of the class. I was nine years old. I was deeply wounded, and so devastated I vowed I wouldn’t write again.

My teacher ’s actions may not have had such an impact on me had I received any encouragement for my writing at home. But, alas, my parents showed no interest. That hurt too, and I didn’t write again for years. At high school in Halifax, no one I knew wrote. The jocks I dated didn’t even read. I foolishly allowed that one comment to deter me from writing for ten years!

But I had always expressed myself through my writing, and missed it so much. Then I moved to Toronto, and made a new start in a new city. It was the 1960s, the age of Aquarius. The Beatles were a household name, the sexual revolution was going strong and I felt free enough to write poetry. Slowly, I began to write again. It was all coming together for me.

I was working as a secretary, so to upgrade my standard of living I began volunteering as a teacher. I became an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher, which made me feel good about myself, and initially elevated my self-esteem. Then, with some encouragement from the school board and a friend, I got my Bachelor of Arts degree. It took me twenty years. I was forty when I graduated, but I did it, and I was proud of it.

It was a brief euphoric feeling. The Toronto Board of Education insisted I teach by the book. That crushed any creativity and individuality I had, and sapped me of my energy for teaching. Board officials checked up on me and lectured me on the proper way of doing things. I never felt valued by them. They didn’t appreciate me, and that mirrored my family experience. I felt exhausted to the point I had little energy left for writing. I really feel that this contributed to my becoming ill.

I had yet to recognize my worth. I found myself in one abusive relationship after the other, which simply reflected my own self-image. My financial situation was so bad in one relationship that rats cohabited with us. I had just had my second child and we had to close the kitchen door at night to prevent the rats from crawling on us while we slept.

Through all of it though, I always believed my situation would change. That belief allowed me to see possibilities that third generation poverty-stricken people never see. I wish I could tell them that secret. Believing in something is crucial to the results you get in life.

As an example of my poor self-image, I married a Honduran refugee so he could get his papers and avoid deportation. Once again,

I abdicated my own happiness and rights to others. It was just another abusive relationship. Soon I began feeling abdominal pains, and this went on for months. I was worried it might be an ovarian cyst or worse, but whenever I shared my concerns with my husband he would just disregard them as hysterical. He said it was nonsense and I was only telling him to upset him. And that was that. I had such low self-esteem I was actually foolish enough to believe him. So I ignored it for a couple of years, but the pain got worse, and I began losing weight and getting weaker.

I went to a counselor who told me to draw my life situation. I drew a person in the water with a hand on her head, but the head kept on bobbing back up. Someone was pushing it down but couldn’t keep her down forever. That’s what it felt like for me.

I had many special gifts, and what had made me sick at work and in my relationships was not being valued. There is nothing worse than effectively telling someone, “We don’t want your gifts. We don’t need you. Just give us what we want. You’re a burden.” However, I had to take some responsibility too. I didn’t value my gifts, so how could I expect others to?

I suffered such abuse that I concluded all men were jerks. After a while I began to realize that was too harsh a generalization. All men aren’t jerks – I was just attracting jerks. Then I had one of those “Ah-ha!” moments. I had to admit that if I was attracting jerks, there must be a jerk in me. My husband was merely expressing my inner image of myself. I believe that many women in abusive relationships are strong, but they have given up that strength to someone they believe is stronger than them. It’s almost as if they couldn’t handle their strength, and so abdicated it to a man. When my self-image changed my outer world changed too.

I sold my house and separated from my husband, who was ultimately deported back to Honduras. He later asked me for more money so he could return, but I wasn’t about to give him any more. Eventually he made it back to Canada. I was in the washroom when immigration officials called to ask me to be responsible for him again. I was so glad I couldn’t answer the phone. I didn’t want to be the one to refuse his entry, because his living conditions in Honduras really were terrible. Despite the years of abuse, I still had compassion for his situation. The difference now was that my growing inner strength would no longer permit me to live with such a man.

I moved to an apartment and committed to begin taking care of myself for a change. I went to see my doctor for a full check-up, and that’s when they found it. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at age fifty. That was my wake up call.

I realized there were two paths I could take. One path was inertia, disability and death. If I kept doing what I was doing, that was the inevitable outcome for me. My children were now twenty and twenty-four, and I envisioned them at my funeral. I was heartbroken at the legacy I would be leaving them. My whole life had been a combination of tragedies manifested by my own negative self-image, and I wanted to leave them so much more. I wanted them to believe they could be happy and enjoy life, and really express themselves. The other path was uncertain and unclear, but I knew it was my only chance.

Around this time I went to a lady who read tea leaves. When she looked at mine, she saw a woman sitting on the fence, and said: “I see a lot of tears and an early death if you don’t realize the abuse going on in your life, and the need to get off the fence.” She had no idea how correct she was. I can’t say if it was just a good guess or not, but I sure knew the truth when I heard it.

After my cancer surgery, I finally quit my job teaching ESL, sold everything and moved back to Nova Scotia. I made a clean break, and it was very symbolic of beginning a new chapter in my life. This brought a sense of exhilaration, and I finally started writing again. It felt liberating to be doing what I had loved as a child. I see my return to writing as a metaphor for my return to health. I was returning to my passion – which is life. It was something that always felt good; it had just taken me a long time to see it.

A funny thing happened though. Writing is a solitary activity, and I found I missed contact with people. I realized I needed to begin a new kind of relationship with people, where I was coming from my strengths, and not my weaknesses. I was finally able to hear my real needs and wants, because for the first time in my life I felt a quiet calmness surround me. I began by becoming more active in the community, and giving speeches to church groups.

I even had the chutzpah to begin Nova Scotia’s first chapter of The Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS). I was so energized in tapping into my newfound potential that I came across as a little pushy. In the Maritimes where modesty is the rule, it was not well received. After a year I resigned as president, but I feel good knowing that what I started is still running.

I learned several things from that experience. First, I could stand up for myself – I was beginning to value myself more. Second, I was able to leave a situation where I felt I was not being respected, and that took courage.

As a writer, I struggled to make money. I had no clue how to earn money outside an employee’s pay cheque. There were times I had no money to pay my next month’s rent, and I had more than a few sleepless nights worried sick about it. I felt so weak that one day while writing an article called “Leap of Faith” for a speech I was going to deliver about believing in yourself, I fell asleep. When I awoke I had a revelation. It may or may not have been divine intervention, but I knew then how I was going to make it. I was going to sell a newsletter. I created the newsletter, and then sold it on-line to professional speakers for $29 annually. That income got me through the three remaining years of my stay in Nova Scotia.

When I returned to Toronto, I soon began earning extra income writing for trade magazines. I wrote a book, and taking all my savings I self-published it. It was an inner success for me, but when the distributor went bankrupt, it became a financial disaster. But it was okay, I don’t get depressed when I hit the wall. The wall and I have become well acquainted over the years. I have learned that I am an idea person, I find solutions. When I come up against a block I find something to get me through. That has made me realize my only security is internal security. The thing is I can’t lose my job; no one can fire me. I can turn on a dime. If one door closes in my face, I will find another door no one knew existed.

I began giving seminars on how to get paid for speaking, and then I opened a speaker ’s bureau called Speakers Gold. As yet I had no business skills, I was not in the corporate world, and soon found myself in trouble due to lack of experience in a very competitive market.

At this time I met Derrick Sweet, a professional speaker. Derrick always thinks so big, he is relentlessly upbeat, and he believed in me, something I have always needed and longed for. By showing me how to believe in myself, he was pivotal in helping me bring my business back from the brink. I think people need other people more than they need money. As Michael Gerber said in the E-myth Revisited, if people just give you money, you will just piss that away too.

Encouragement is a vital commodity so often overlooked. I am now giving to others the encouragement I lacked in my own life. I coach budding authors and professional speakers how to market themselves. In contrast to the stifling, government-regulated environment from years gone by, I am now teaching what I love my way. As an information junkie, I use my many resources to help my clients. I encourage them, and I believe in them. It was what I always needed, and I know it is what they need.

The outer world reflection of my inner world looks better and brighter now. These days, business is thriving, my coaching practice grows daily and my bureau is flourishing.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

Your outside world will reflect your inside world.

In my work, I often encounter people who go from one abusive relationship to the next. They lament their fate, citing bad luck as the culprit. What they don’t see is their own filter. They use it to filter out all of the kind people that come into their lives. They are left with the abusers and then wonder what happened.

They don’t see that their choices merely reflect what is going on inside their head. Many have grown up in abusive situations, and they learned to associate abuse with love. So they surround themselves with people who mirror that, and then try to change them. Their thinking is they can heal old wounds by trying to relive their childhood in the way they would have preferred. As most people discover, it is ten times more difficult to change someone else than it is to change yourself.

When we learn to value ourselves more, we attract people who reflect that back. If we want a life with more purpose and passion, we must first begin by believing we deserve it. Otherwise, we will just keep walking right by the doors with the big “opportunity” signs on them. When we begin to recognize and value our own gifts, others will too.

Conclusion

The people in this book are ordinary people whose passions and life purpose spurred them on to do extraordinary things. They had the courage to not only dream, but to do whatever it took to make that dream a reality. As a testament to my respect, I have used the services of people in this book and have happily referred them to my friends. You see, what I found was that these people who loved what they were doing were also really good at it. And I don’t think this was merely a coincidence. If you love what you do, you will have the passion and the interest and the motivation to continually learn and grow and improve. Researching your field will no longer be a laborious task just to get it done. Rather, it will be a labour of love. That is what I discovered when I undertook the task of writing this book. It became my labour of love, and my gift to you.

The tragedy of 9/11 caused many people to sit back and take stock of their lives. If life can end so suddenly, they are saying they want to do something worthwhile while they are on this ride called planet Earth. The bad news is that high work stress increases your risk for chronic pain, illnesses, heart disease, depression and premature death. No question. I am not telling you this to be a doomsayer. I am telling you this because I want you to wake up from your slumber.

The good news is that there is a flip-side: people who are satisfied with their careers and love what they do, live longer and are less prone to illness. And you can do something about it. We are not immortal. If you dislike what you are doing, start doing something else – today. There are steps you can take right now.

Ask yourself, “What was it I always wanted to do?” “What did I enjoy doing as a child?” Look into that course you always wanted to take. Turn off the TV and take a half-hour to dream of the possibilities. Write them down.

If you need assistance in this area, as most people do, I can help guide you so you can choose the best business for you. It has to be a good match for your unique passions, purpose and pure talents. It need not be a random guess. There is a method to doing this. First you must focus on “WHAT” you want to do before you focus on the money. Most people get this backwards, which is one of the major reasons why so many people are confused in understanding their own custom-fit business.

When you do choose right you will feel more confident, creative, connected to the work and an inner calm. What I am talking about is how you live your life on a day-to-day basis. What I learned from talking to hundreds of people who love their work, is that there is no better reward than being happy with what you are doing.

Find Your Own Custom-Fit Business

Dr. Sam Gerstein, Business Coach