Myth: “I Have No Time” --- BUSTED

FROM THE SERIES

LIVE YOUR DREAMS:
Doctor’s Orders

Revealing Evidence Of Why This Myth Is False And How You Too Can Discover And Start Your Own Unique Custom-Fit Business

Samuel Gerstein, M.D.

Foreword by JACK CANFIELD,

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Amazon Kindle Edition

Stories From the Book: Live Your Dreams: Doctor’s Orders

More Praise…

“Dr. Gerstein introduces us to 40 individuals who have accomplished the impossible to reach profound success. It is through the guidance of those who have traveled the path before us that we can learn to achieve our own life dreams. This book is a priceless treasure of tried-and-true wisdom for all ages.”

Nido Qubein, President, High Point University,

Chairman, Great Harvest Bread Co.

✦

“Dr. Gerstein has shown us, through many real examples, how we can convert dreams from aspiration to reality. If you have a dream, but have not realized it yet, read this book and inspire yourself to action!”

Dr. Lance Secretan, Author, ONE:

The Art and Practice of Conscious Leadership.

✦

“The people in these stories will serve as role models for anyone who wants to live their dreams.”

Robin Sharma, #1 Bestselling author of The Greatness Guide.

✦

“You can change your life or your attitude towards your life. We are all capable of change when we have the desire and intention to do so. This book can help coach and guide you and show you that reinventing yourself is possible.”

Bernie Siegel, MD, Author of 365 Prescriptions

For The Soul and Prescriptions For Living

✦

“It’s one thing to dream. It’s another thing to have your doctor help you turn your dream into success. Read Live Your Dreams: Doctor ’s Orders and your dreams may come true.”

W. Mitchell, C.P.A.E., Author of It's Not

What Happens to You, It's What You Do About It.

Myth: I Have No Time --- Busted

Copyright 2018 by Dreams for Real Inc. All rights reserved. Printed in Canada. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address Dreams for Real Inc., 5863 Leslie Street, Suite 316 Toronto, Ontario, Canada M2H 1J8.

www.dreamsforreal.com

Gerstein, Samuel, 1957-

Myth: I Have No Time --- Busted / Samuel Gerstein.

1. Small Business and Entrepreneurship (Business) I. Title.

This book is dedicated to my parents who gave me the opportunity to explore my dream, to my wife, Michelle, who believed in my dream and supported me every step along the way, and to my children, Ryan and Casey, so they will know that their dreams are real.

Contents

Disclaimer

Foreword of Live Your Dreams: Doctor's Orders by Jack Canfield

Introduction

Dr. Samuel Gerstein, M.D., Business Coach

Elizabeth Verwey

Ginette D’Aigle

Lucas Miller

John Robinson

Conclusion

Myth Busters:

Elizabeth Verwey - Mentor in Space and Time Management

Ginette D’Aigle - Early Childhood Educator

Lucas Miller - Power Skating & Hockey Coach

John Robinson - Antique Reproduction Chair Maker

Disclaimer

This book was written with the intent of expanding people’s awareness of what is possible in the world of work. All of the stories of the people in the book are true accounts of their working lives up to the time of the interviews that were used as the foundation for the research for the book.

The lessons that are related by the people in the book, as well as by Dr. Gerstein, are the opinions of the aforementioned authors. This book gives no guarantee of success or of reproducing any of the results achieved by the people interviewed for this book by following the lessons outlined in the text. In fact, one of the key concepts in the book is that people’s life directions are as unique as the people themselves. No one can tell you what to do. That comes from within. Use this book to stimulate your own thought process of what may be right for you.

Every effort has been made to make this book as complete and accurate as possible. However, there may be mistakes both typographical and in content, therefore, the text should be used as a general guide and not as the ultimate source for career guidance.

The purpose of the book is to educate and entertain. The author and publisher assume no liability for any loss or damages alleged to be caused by the contents contained in the book. Please consult the appropriate professionals to obtain specific information regarding your personal situation.

Foreword of Live Your Dreams:
Doctor's Orders
by Jack Canfield

In our first Chicken Soup for the Soul book, I tell a story of visiting the Temple of the Golden Buddha in Thailand. I was astounded to learn that this awesome solid-gold Buddha smiling down at us had been covered by a thick layer of clay for hundreds of years.

Historians believe that Siamese monks applied the clay to keep their precious treasure from being looted by an invading army. Unfortunately, it appears that all the monks were killed by the invaders, and the well-kept secret of the golden Buddha remained intact until 1957 when the statue had to be moved. To everyone’s shock some clay fell off, and when the startled head monk applied a hammer and chisel, he discovered the sold-gold treasure underneath.

As we flew home I thought to myself, “We are all like that Buddha, covered with a shell of hardness created out of fear. Yet underneath, each of us is a ‘golden Buddha; a ‘golden Christ’ or a ‘golden essence’ which is our real self. Somewhere between the ages of two and nine we begin to cover up our ‘golden essence.’ Much like the monk with the hammer and the chisel, our task now is to discover our true essence once again!”

In “Live Your Dreams – Doctor’s Orders” - Dr. Gerstein does a superb job of exposing the true golden essence of forty ordinary people who all found a way to overcome their fear, chip off the clay and go for their dream. And after each story, he provides tips on how you, the reader can do it too.

There are many books out there today on how to achieve your dreams and find success. In this book Dr. Gerstein shows us what can happen when those principles are actually applied. By going beyond the tired theories of how to ‘find a good job,’ he opted to shoot for the moon and found example after example of people actually living their dreams at work. Based not on money, but on passion, joy and fulfillment - their dreams are no fantasy, but fully realized. Today, all of them are doing what they love, and their diverse and very individual stories show us all what living your dream can actually look like.

Too often in today’s society we stop short of the dream. Instead, we focus on decreasing our pain, managing our stress and treating our illnesses. But why do we stop there? After all, good health is so much more than simply a lack of illness. It is a vitality for life, an abundance of energy that is our birth right. Good health is a good attitude, a strong body and a vibrant mind.

Dr. Samuel Gerstein walks his talk. As you will see from his personal story which begins the book, he was feeling the effects of work stress himself several years ago. His own journey of self discovery led him to his dream of helping others find theirs. I believe this book will inspire you to do the same. Read it if you are feeling lost, or if your work has little meaning. Read it if you are dissatisfied with or hate your job. Read it if you have given up hope that the majority of your adult life spent at work will ever be enjoyable or fulfilling.

One of the best ways to learn anything new is through the use of role models. Dr. Gerstein has provided us with forty powerful role models in people who overcame their fears and all the reasons why they ‘couldn’t,’ and through dogged determination and creative resourceful-ness found a way to achieve their dream. And because we are all unique, the wisdom and inspiration in this book can be utilized as much by a confused young high school senior as a by disgruntled senior manager of a large downtown firm.

When Mark Victor Hansen and I created Chicken Soup for the Soul, our mission was to heal and change the world one story at a time. I am moved by the forty very special stories Dr. Gerstein has found and given to the world. They are an inspiration to all people who want to live their dream. It’s a book that is meant to be read, absorbed and acted on. If you are tired of ‘settling’ in your life, see yourself doing what these people have done, and know that if they can do it, so can you.

Jack Canfield

Co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series and

Author of The Success Principles™

Introduction

Another name for this book could have been, “I am too busy”. The whole concept of time management itself is a myth. We can’t manage time because we all have the exact same 24 hours in a day. All we can do is manage our priorities in how we use our time. Yet very few people do this well. I believe that is because when you prioritize something, by inference, you are actually choosing not to do something else. And that is what scares most people – FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). They are afraid they may be missing out on something important. So, they end up trying to do it all and ironically, they get very little done in as far as their true deep desires are concerned.

In my experience there are two ways we waste time: the absolute way and the relative one. First, the absolute: We waste a lot more time than we think. According to the A.C. Nielsen Co. (1998), the average American watches over 4 hours of TV each day. By age 65 the average American will have spent nearly NINE YEARS glued to the tube! That’s simply poor priority management, whether it is a conscious choice or a subconscious one.

In the “relative” time wasting way, if someone has one month to complete a small project, most people will take the whole month to get it done. If that same project was due in three days, most people would find a way get it done in that time. If the size of the project remains constant then it must be people’s habitual behaviour patterns that cause this fascinating phenomenon. Time is relative.

We can make much better use of the time we are given. If you want to feel fulfilled at work, you have to make it a priority in your life. You can have more than one priority but you can’t have it all at once. What if you were to do one thing a week – maybe one thing a day – to further your Dream Business? Imagine what might happen if you made this a priority in your life.

In the following stories, you will meet people who, like you, were very busy but were not prioritizing their most important desires. In each case something triggered them to wake up and realize that life is short. To name a couple, Elizabeth Verwey woke up to the realization that she was a workaholic after she got the shock of her life. Lucas Miller was busy enough as a professional hockley player but became concerned when he saw how his older teammates lacked any plans for their future. He decided he wasn’t going to allow his story to end that way.

The people in this book found the time and each managed to start their own custom-fit business. How did they do it? The answers are in the details of the stories. I also pick out one key lesson from each story to help you apply it to your own life.

Use their stories to wake you up out of the illusion that you can “always do it later”. I see people who come to me in regret after procrastinating for years. They tell me that “later” never came. Let these stories to inspire you to make your “later” come “now”.

Follow Your Dreams

Sam Gerstein

Dr. Samuel Gerstein, M.D., Business Coach

The Author’s Story:

As an emergency physician it was my job to help people in pain. I had been doing that for fifteen years, doing the very best I could for my patients. At times I overlooked my own pain, and ignored the growing void inside of me, hiding behind a façade that everything was going well. However, the longer I ignored it, the larger the void became, and the harder it became to ignore it.

I now understand a universal law: The universe has lessons to teach everyone. If you don’t get the lesson the first time it will increase the intensity of the lesson until you have to pay attention. I finally got my lesson when the universe sent a startling coincidence onto my path.

In his bestselling book The Celestine Prophecy, author James Redfield speaks about nine insights the human race will discover as it enters the era of spiritual awareness. The first insight is to pay attention to mysterious coincidences. He says once you interpret these sudden, synchronistic events, they will lead you to your destiny. I don’t know about the validity of all the insights he suggests, but I have witnessed some startling scenes of synchronicity in my own life, as well as in the lives of the people whose stories I share in this book.

About nine years ago I realized I was growing frustrated at work and wanted something more. I had seen so much despair in people who had given up on themselves, and I knew I could do more for them. This angst carried over to my family life where small things began to irritate me. I knew this because one summer while on vacation I found myself in a heated argument with my wife Michelle, over a seemingly negligible matter. I was on a break for some R&R, and here I was arguing and upset over some small matter. Maybe I didn’t really need a break. Maybe what I needed was to scratch that itch that had been nagging at me for some time.

I told Michelle I had felt myself to be very tense lately, and maybe a massage would help relax me. Prior to that I had received maybe two paid massages in my life, so it certainly wasn’t a part of my routine. Years before someone had told me about a specific spa downtown. We had tickets to go to a Blue Jays baseball game the same day so, on the spur of the moment, I made a reservation to go to that particular spa right before the game. Michelle took advantage of my plan and made an appointment herself for a manicure, pedicure and facial.

After my massage and while waiting for my wife, I went to the counter to pass the time. I picked up what looked like an interesting book, bought it and promptly headed to the hot tub to begin reading. I couldn’t put it down and was almost a prune when I emerged.

The book was called Passionate Longevity, by Elaine Dembe, and the concepts in the book enthralled me. In it she talked about the life lessons of elderly people as they looked back over their lives. They spoke about what was truly meaningful for them, and about things they would and wouldn’t do if they had the chance to live over again.

We went to the ball game, but I couldn’t take my mind off that book and how it related to my life. Was I really doing what I wanted? Would I regret it when I was in my eighties? I couldn’t tell you the score of the game, but I finished the book the next day. I was so inspired I wanted to call the author and speak with her. Now there were dozens of books on spirituality, personal development and motivation in the bookstores at the time, most of them by American authors. I could have chosen any one of those best sellers in the spa that day but it was hers I picked up. When I read that the author worked and lived in Toronto not far from me, I was floored.

I contacted Elaine immediately and she happily agreed to speak to me. It happened that I was suffering from some back pain at the time. It turned out that Elaine was also a chiropractor, and one very energetic lady. I met with her several times for my back, and also to talk to her about my frustrations. She suggested I explore two centres in the United States to continue my journey. When I received their brochures, one course stood out above the rest so I signed up for it immediately. It was called Lifeshaping, and was a big factor in how I changed my life.

The content and facilitator of the course were excellent. However, it was as much about me being ready to hear the message that was instrumental in changing my life direction. That old Buddhist saying, when the pupil is ready the teacher appears, really is true. Over the next two summers I ended up assisting and then co-facilitating the course with its creator, Ingrid Brendenburg, and that was what got me started on the path to what I am doing now.

I decided to start listening to my heart and begin doing what feels good and right to me. It only made sense that if I wanted others to do that, I should be doing it myself. My intention was to not evaluate myself on the results as I have done for so many things in my life, but rather to simply enjoy the process.

In the transition period I began taking extra courses that interested me. I didn’t have a specific plan; I just followed where my passions led me. I took a psychology course in NLP – (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and became a master practitioner. I took an Adult Education Facilitation course, joined a Toastmasters Club and became a local member of CAPS – the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers in Toronto. I also had fun doing some improvisational acting at Second City. Over the next three years I juggled these extracurricular activities while continuing to work in the ER, and spending time with my young family. I simply trusted I was moving in the right direction because I was following my heart.

I began reading more of Dr. Abraham Maslow’s and Dr. Carl Roger ’s theories of self-actualization, and about people reaching their full potential and how they did it. Somewhere in there I began writing material to help people follow their dreams.

Shortly thereafter I dug into my savings to create my own company, Dreams For Real Incorporated. For the first four years our family cut back on some nonessentials like vacations, and I picked up some extra shifts in the ER to help with the expenses.

After having worked in socialized medicine for so long I knew I had to become skilled in the world of business. I took marketing courses to help me promote my seminars and my professional speaking services. They showed me ways to make my own dream real, and turn it into a viable business. I gave free speeches to several community service organizations like the Rotary Club. I did my first no-fee seminar out of my home. The anxiety I felt before the seminar was nothing compared to the exhilaration I experienced after it was done. I would never have known that if I had just sat back and hoped it would happen. I had to actually take action.

I did a lot on my own, and I take great pride in going after my goal and achieving it. But I soon realized I would go a lot further, a lot faster if I had help. Besides, it would be more fun having others with whom to share my experiences. I began asking for help.

I started a Mastermind group comprised of like-minded people who had information they wanted to share with others. Whenever I felt frightened or worried I opened up to them. I was no longer hiding behind the façade that everything was going well. Besides, no one had ever believed it anyway. I had just been fooling myself, and was really afraid to admit I had challenges too. I found that just naming them and

talking about them in front of my friends was a huge relief. The people in that group have been a tremendous resource for support and assistance.

I soon realized I could not do it all, and began delegating parts of my business I had no interest in. For me this included computer and web-based issues and publishing. I focused on what I loved – writing about living your dreams and helping other people do it.

Despite all of this, I realized something was still missing. This time I was conscious to the message, and paid attention. I had woken up. Through my work I was now delivering to people a lot of important information and techniques, but I was lacking key role models for following one’s dreams. As Yogi Berra said, “You've got to be careful if you don't know where you're going 'cause you might not get there.”

From my patients, I had many role models for the mental and physical effects of work stress. But I realized I had very little in the way of what dreams look like in the real world once they’ve been manifested and realized.

That was it! That was the missing ingredient. I knew I had to go out and find people who were living their dreams and get their stories before I could really show others how to do it. It made so much sense. To the naysayers, they would be living proof that it was possible. To the curious, they would be an enigma. And to the people who were secretly or openly interested in living their own dreams, they would be a roadmap.

And so I began what I didn’t realize would become a huge undertaking. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I interviewed over two hundred people, over a hundred of which were formal meetings. I drove to wherever they worked or lived, at any hour that was convenient to them. My journey took me to many corners of Toronto and its neighbouring cities and towns. Each and every person I met inspired me in some way, and I knew they would inspire others too. It took me two-and-a-half years to complete the interviews, and another year-and-a-half to transcribe them and write this book. I did this work around my family times and while continuing my ER duties at the hospital. I enjoyed every minute of it.

Pouring over the notes I had taken, I teased out the key common themes to how the people who were living their dreams had actually done it. Once that was done, I put it all together in a program, and then used that program to overhaul my seminars. It also became the cornerstone for setting up my own psychotherapy practice, where I help individuals overcome their personal struggles to follow their own true path.

My biggest obstacle was there was no roadmap to follow to do this. Unlike medical training, there was no curriculum to follow and no test with which to measure my competencies. There were weeks when I didn’t have any leads for where I would find the next person to interview in their dream business. I was often disappointed and dejected. At those times my wife would step up to the plate and reassure me this was only a temporary lull. My Mastermind group was a tremendous support as well.

What kept me motivated was my belief in what I was doing, and my enthusiasm to help others live their dreams. I have witnessed so much despair in my years at the hospital, and I’ve been so saddened watching people give up on themselves, not realizing they could live their life by following their own script. I would think of the quizzical looks on the faces of the people I asked about their dreams – people who had never even been asked what they wanted, who had been told what they should be doing. I knew it wasn’t right, and they could be so much happier if they were true to themselves. I refused to let my despair win, and I vowed not to give up.

On my good days I remembered the other side of the coin of not having a set path to follow. I reminded myself I could be creative and follow my own instincts. I was not hamstrung by other people’s agendas. I was free to do what I thought was best for my clients. The obstacle that I was facing, having no roadmap or set course to follow, was inherently also a benefit.

I can say in all honesty that I now feel more complete in my vocation as a doctor – as a healer. I help people both proactively and reactively. I know that in stress-related diseases there is often a five- to ten-year lag time between emotional distress and the physical manifestation of that stress. I feel that I now have more balance in my life, and I’m more at peace with myself. I know I am doing what I love because no one has to tell me to do it.

I look forward to creating better techniques to help people achieve their Dream Goals. After working in the ER and playing with my young children, I often work in my home office for hours some evenings. It is definitely a labour of love. I also know it is a good fit because I continually talk to my wife about ideas I have for such and such a seminar or book. Sometimes I forget that it’s my dream and not hers. Sometimes I go on a tad too much – to the point where she is the one needing a break from my dream. I am having so much fun I don’t even consider it work.

It took me forty years to hear the true message of what my heart had been whispering to me all along. It was a “coincidence” that woke me up. You can bet that I have been paying close attention ever since.

“Dreams without action are fantasy. Actions without dreams are empty. Dreams combined with actions manifest one’s destiny.”

Samuel Gerstein

Elizabeth Verwey

Mentor in Time and Space Management

When you say “yes” to others, make sure you aren’t saying “no” to yourself.

Paulo Coehlo

“I had taken my charity from an idea to a company with a budget of $500,000. Then it happened. My life changed forever.”

According to society’s standards I was successful. I had grown 2 businesses from the ground up. I built my last business from a local charity with a budget of $50,000 to a national movement with a $500,000 budget. I was traveling across the country setting up storefront locations and writing speeches. But I was working 80-hour weeks and not even noticing what I was missing. I was driven but not in a calm way. I was on a fast train and it was picking up speed. Then it crashed. I got the biggest shock in my life. It shook me to the core and forced me to reassess my priorities.

I started my career in retail management. I enjoyed the people interaction but disliked the unusual hours the job required. I wanted to continue to work with people but be able to set my own hours in my own business.

When I had my children I did some volunteer work for the YWCA. They sent me to training courses in life skills coaching. I volunteered to facilitate mom’s groups called “Take A Break” where I facilitated discussions with the moms while the kids were in the nursery. I enjoyed leading the groups and decided to start my own business. I called it, Mountain of Ideas. People close to me asked, “Who is going to pay to hear you speak?” These doubters would raise their voices each time I launched a new venture.

I gave lectures and workshops to nannies, parents and caregivers on how to occupy preschoolers. I had a 3- and 7-year old at the time. It was a training ground for thinking quickly on my feet and brainstorming with people.

The second business I got into was a charity called Performers for Literacy. I joined a group of 3 people who wanted to glamourize the message that reading could be fun. I became the general manager and took on the responsibility of director of new development. We took it from an idea to a national charity group in 16 regions across Canada. As we grew I needed to be more efficient myself and my curiousity led me to read books and take workshops on time and space management. It was a practical hands-on learning curve for me. I became well versed in the field of organization. When I brought people together in a conference setting I found they needed assistance in office organization and time management and I started to lead these workshops. By the time the budget for Performers for Literacy grew from $50,000 to $500,000 I was traveling a lot and spending a lot of time at work. Then it happened. I got the shock of my life. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

My big brother - David Gardner - my hero, died suddenly.

I didn’t emulate movie stars or famous people. He was the one I looked up to. “How could this happen?” I asked myself. He was only 50. But he was a type A personality and he pushed himself too. I realized I was following in his footsteps. I was a workaholic and was not enjoying the little things in my life. I had given up some of my passions for business. I was 13 years his junior but on the same track. It was a devastating realization.

I walked into to the board of directors and announced I wanted to take a month’s holiday to relax and reflect. I had never done that before but felt I needed the time away. They told me I couldn’t do that. Sometimes you have to play hardball. I told them that I’m giving them notice and will be leaving the charity. They quickly realized it would be impractical for them for me to quit over a 4-week holiday and allowed me to take my well-deserved break. As opposed to the board’s fears, things hadn’t fallen apart while I was away.

Rightly or wrongly I began measuring the years I had left by the age of my brother’s unfortunate demise. Scientific development may add years to our lives; it is up to us to add life to our years. I was 37 and prematurely found myself projected onto my deathbed looking back to see if I had accomplished and enjoyed all that I wanted to on this earth. I clearly had not. I wanted more for my life but didn’t know what I should do.

I asked my friends and family what they thought my unique skills were. ‘Mentor’ came up time and time again. As a group they said I was always giving them helpful suggestions to improve their quality of life; that I gave pragmatic and immediately applicable solutions to their problems. They said that I had the ability to break down large projects into manageable steps.

I then asked myself what I was really good at and what would bring me satisfaction. I was very good at time and space management and growing businesses brought me tremendous satisfaction. I correctly surmised expertise in the former would bring me the emotional needs of the latter. Because of my personal experience with workaholism I wanted to bring more balance to people’s work lives. I would get pleasure out of helping entrepreneurs become more efficient so they would be able to take more time off work and bring more balance to their lives.

I was getting more clarity. My life direction began to take focus. I read books by futurists such as David Foote and Faith Popcorn. In it they identified home offices were going to play a big part in the peoples’ careers. By that point I had been working in a home office for ten years. I knew it well.

I figured that any entrepreneur would have to be efficient in their space and time management in order to grow the company. Most entrepreneurs are too busy. Home office mentoring would be generic enough to help almost all entrepreneurs to free up their time and become more efficient in their work.

I was determined to change careers. My brother’s death was a big factor. I also wanted to be more available to my children by restricting my activities to Toronto instead of my former national responsibilities, which frequently took me out of town.

I had several obstacles in my path. People told me I would have great difficulty in finding another job at my age. I was advised to dye my hair. Thankfully I ignored them. Some of my friends and family weren’t as supportive as I wished. I knew that they themselves wouldn’t have the courage to go out on their own. They were just projecting their own personal fears onto me and in their way were actually trying to protect me. I never took it personally. As I previously mentioned, I had seen it before.

Time was also a big obstacle for me. I was working 80 hours a week. I eventually hired 2 people, which allowed me to cut my hours to 40 per week. I used the time that was freed up to research my next business. That gave me a six-month transition period. I wanted to leave the charity in good shape and they supported me in my efforts.

I don’t regret all of the extra time I put into the charity business. That experience gave me the compassion and understanding of what my current clients are going through as they are sucked into the vortex of their business. It gives me credibility of having been there and done that.

Money was another challenge. Having been self-employed for 15 years I knew that banks would not be open to giving a woman a business loan for a new venture. So I saved up $20,000, which would normally have paid my expenses for six months. My husband and I cut our spending drastically and stretched that savings over eighteen months. We cut back our cleaning lady to every second week. Because it was to be a home office I almost entirely cut my wardrobe budget. We pared down our children’s extracurricular programs because they were older.

Having that financial buffer allowed me to take risks I wouldn’t have otherwise been able to do. My husband offered strong emotional support. Whenever I started doubting myself he was right there reminding me that I could do anything.

The first year of business was very slow. In my second year I took a part-time contract with another charity for five hours a week to avoid depleting my nest egg. I was able to use that position to promote my own company in their seminars. I reached my former income the third year of running my company.

I spent thirty hours a week for three months trying to convince corporations and banks to use my company. I was turned down over and over again. They claimed there was no budget for my services. I then pursued franchises that had people working from home for another two months to no avail. I finally understood that I must go after independent entrepreneurs. If I had to do it again I would spend more time at the beginning researching if indeed there was a need for my services instead of forcing one where it didn’t exist.

Instead of blindly soliciting more business by cold calling I went to a third party for help. After helping a few clients move their offices I guessed that moving was a particularly stressful and harrowing experience for many businesses. I approached some moving companies and real estate agents and asked them about the need for my services. They confirmed my suspicions. This time I only pursued the business after I had determined there was a market out there.

Being autonomous and being able to set my own hours gives me the flexibility I require in my life. I act as a consultant. I like helping people get beyond their own vision. I assess the situation and give them advice. I feel great when I help my clients get “unstuck” and are able to get their business organized and reap the rewards of greater productivity and creativity. I often refer to myself as a wheel that eases my clients forward. As opposed to my first two businesses I am not the one who has to shoulder the responsibility for their business. Now I have balance. I enjoy the freedom of helping others and being able to take a vacation when I want. I don’t have to take everyone’s problems home with me. That is quite liberating for me because I find that I am such a giving person. It helps me set boundaries and has eliminated the 80-hour weeks I endured at Performers for Literacy.

The benefit for the client is that they get the credit for the work they do. My suggestions can be good but if they don’t act on them, they are all for naught. When people say how wonderful my ideas are I bounce the credit right back to them. One of the keys to my business is not as much time and space office management but rather motivation. I constantly have to look for new ways to motivate my clients to implement my suggestions.

I derive pleasure from reigniting passions that get sidelined by people’s work. For example, I get my clients to block out micro-vacations into their calendar to refresh and recharge themselves. I had noticed one of my busy clients had golf pictures decorating his office. I asked him how often he got to play. He said he didn’t have the time. I pointed out that golfing once a month would probably not affect his business and it might even help if he came back rejuvenated. We worked on booking it into his schedule. Before I knew it he sent me an email saying he was flying to Myrtle Beach for a mini golf retreat and thanking me for my help.

That is very rewarding indeed. I like to think that my brother has played a role in helping him too. His death opened my eyes in a way I could not have previously imagined.

Thank you, David.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

Cobbler’s Children Syndrome.

The clue to what you need most may be found in what you do so well for others

Elizabeth has always been a hard worker. So much so that she thought 80-hour weeks was what you had to do to be successful. It took the death of her older brother, her “hero”, to shock her into reassessing her workaholic habit.

She used the pain of workaholism to inspire her new business. She reasoned correctly that other people also suffer the same fate, overworking and not knowing how to balance their work lives. In her new business she became a mentor to many entrepreneurs to advise them how to better manage their time and space.

It’s the proverbial story of the shoemaker’s children who go without shoes. Some refer to this as the "Cobbler's Children Syndrome". The rationale behind this might be that the person is so busy helping others she has little time for herself. Or in Elizabeth’s case, she has overworked so much in her life that she began to look for more efficient ways to use her time and space, just to grab a few moments of peace.

But she was only cutting out little bits of time. It took the death of a loved one for Elizabeth to first cut out 4 weeks and then cut her job out completely before carving out a better long-term lifestyle in her new business.

Ginette D’Aigle

Early Childhood Educator

“The first requisite for success is the ability to apply

your physical and mental energies to one problem

incessantly without growing weary.”

Thomas Edison

“I refused to let anything stop me from becoming a teacher.

If I had to roll myself to get my qualification I would have done it.”

As a child I was denied a lot. My mother and father were often both absent from our home, and as the oldest of seven I was forced to be the surrogate mother. Throughout my life I was constantly sick, and twice my mother said “No” to my dreams. It could have been a recipe for self-pity but I refused to let my dreams die. Just like the mythical phoenix bird, out of the ashes of my stress, rose my dream.

I’ve had both mental and physical challenges all of my life. When I was younger I contracted tuberculosis from my grandmother. I later contracted recurrent lung and kidney infections requiring me to take many antibiotics over the years. The different diseases and therapies would sometimes drop my weight down to eighty-five pounds in my adult life.

As the oldest of seven I was habitually expected to be the surrogate mother when my mother was out – which was a lot of the time. My dad’s job took him away from the house during the week and my mother would go out and leave me alone with my sisters and brother. She expected me to take care of them, and this placed an inordinate burden on me. Truthfully, it was an abusive environment because I was always forced to abrogate my own needs for those of others. The irony was I liked taking care of people, especially children. I just didn’t want to be required to do so.

I have always been a magnet for children. When I was twelve there were usually children waiting to play with me when I got to school. I would make up games and activities for them and would frequently baby-sit for their families.

My care-taking nature was easy to see. When I was eleven, a new student was transferred into my grade six class. She had epilepsy, she was developmentally challenged and she was not very pretty, to boot. The other children teased her a lot as children are apt to do. I took her under my wing and protected her, so-to-speak. It was not completely altruistic though. It felt good to have someone appreciate and need me. I’ve played that role much of my life.

As a teen I would come home and be responsible for my six siblings, and after they went to bed I could then sit down and study. I looked forward to my study time because I could be in my own world. I was focusing on me for a change. That was the pattern throughout my high school years. Learning was my oasis in a stormy childhood.

When summer vacation finally arrived I would collapse from exhaustion from the hectic pace I kept during the school year. I would often have to be hospitalized for bed rest and nutritional support.

Music was one of my natural talents. My teachers noticed this, and when I was fourteen they encouraged me to participate in musical festivals. At one such festival one of the judges involved suggested I attend the Conservatory of Music. My mother said, “No,” because she said she didn’t have the money to send me. Another door was slammed in my face. If she had allowed me to pursue my interests she would have lost a good hand at home. I was upset, but I begrudgingly accepted my fate.

When it came time to think about university, I dreamed of going to teacher ’s college. My mother said she didn’t have the money, and in any case, she said, I was too ill to tackle such a challenge. Her response made me angry, and this time I didn’t accept her decision as calmly as when she denied my pursuit of music. I was determined to find a way to make it happen, but had not yet learned to speak up for myself. It was a scenario that would repeat itself over and over until I finally found the courage to assert myself and take care of my own needs. It would also ultimately test the strength of my marriage.

Within two years I was married. We had three beautiful children. A few years later my doctor said if he had known me before I had children he would have advised me not to have any. He was concerned for my health telling me I was too weak, and raising children had put too much of a strain on me. He was correct about the energy it took to raise children, but he didn’t realize my love for them. It was my destiny.

When my second daughter was eight she was in a car accident. On one of my visits to the hospital I met someone there who was an Early Childhood Educator (ECE). She said I could teach children with this certificate. When I heard this a bell suddenly went off in my head. It was an opportunity knocking on my door telling me I could become a teacher and work with children. That must have been the reason I met that lady in the hospital.

My husband, however, was less than enthusiastic. He wanted me to stay home with our children who were now eight months, five and seven. He was afraid if I took the course I would eventually leave him. In his fear he didn’t support me, so I did something I had never done before.

I stood up to someone on a major issue.

I said to him: “I will go and finish the course with or without your support.” When I said it I was so scared, I was shaking, and I wonder how I ever had the nerve to do it. I believe it was only because of how motivated I was to follow my dream. After I stood up to him he replied, “Ginette, you will never be able to do this.” He said he loved me, and he was only speaking out of his own fear that our marriage would fall apart. He had seen infidelity in other couples around us when both parents worked. I understood his fear – he was afraid of the unknown.

That was a real turning point in my life. As a child I was never made to feel that I counted, and was taught to act subservient to the needs of others. As a result, I always found it very difficult to stand up for myself. Now I was thirty years old and it was not too late to begin.

If I could change anything in my life, I would have learned to stand up for myself when I was much younger. I would have looked into my mother ’s eyes and told her I was going to teacher ’s college. Period.

The ECE certification was a two-year program. I told my program supervisor that I would graduate even if it takes me ten years to finish. I enrolled in the program while my daughter was still recuperating in the hospital. I was determined to complete it while still raising my children by taking evening and summer courses.

During this same time I operated a day-care out of my home. One of my daughters commented to me one day, “Mommy, you are always around children. Why not try something else?” So I got a job with American Express as an authorization operator. The people I worked with sat in front of their computers all day long. They weren’t sociable and it was boring. Thinking I had potential, AmEx offered me training in becoming a resource manager. It was flattering but if I didn’t like the environment as an operator, I wouldn’t like it as a manager. I was working evening shifts at AmEx and already feeling drained from all the schoolwork. I respectfully declined the offer. I realized I needed an interactive, social and supportive environment in which to work, or else I would stagnate. This experience further motivated me to complete my ECE training.

During this time I still suffered from recurrent bouts of pneumonia, pleurisy and kidney problems. At times I could barely drive my car while heading to school. I would get infection after infection while taking the course. My immune system was depleted because of all the medications I had to take. I suffered from recurrent kidney infections and had constant pain in my right side. But I didn’t like to show my pain to anybody.

Sometimes it was convenient to drive to school with one of my daughters. One morning, she noticed how much pain I was in and said, “Mommy…I’m here with you...Hang in there.” I looked at her and replied: “If I have to roll myself to get my qualification I will get it. People in wheelchairs do it. I will do it no matter what.”

It took me ten years to complete my ECE certificate, the exact time I had oddly prophesied at the beginning of this long journey. What kept me going was the knowledge that once I had this I would be able to help more children and bring an income to my family.

On the night I graduated in 1991 my whole family was there. I was in so much pain I could barely walk up to receive my diploma, but I was so proud of what I had done. It was a moment I will never forget. My husband now sees that his fears were unfounded.

I have always been driven. I never wanted anyone else to know my problems so I often never told anyone when I was in pain. I just pushed through the pain. However, last year I collapsed because of pain and exhaustion, and since then I have been learning that it’s okay to ask for help. Very slowly I have begun to open up to others, but I do not find it easy to switch roles and become a “receiver” once in a while. Then again, not much in my life has been easy for me but that has not stopped me.

The children at school do not question my health. They accept me even on my tough days when my energy is way down. That is one of the reasons I enjoy teaching children.

Perhaps it is because I have had so many personal challenges in my own life that I adore and embrace children with special needs. I am able to be patient with them, and give them my full attention. In my classes I had an autistic child and children with behaviour disorders. Specialists have helped me understand their needs and how I can fulfill them. They are a challenge, yet many have made so much progress in my class, and that makes me feel special.

I love what I do. What’s not to love? Supportive teachers and children I adore surround me. I never lose sight of the fact that I am here to help children, not just teach them things. I may be the only person who has smiled at that child today. Knowing I have contributed to the education and growth of these children in some small way is a gift for me.

Even though I got my ECE certificate I am not finished studying. Learning is how I relax, and lifelong learning is my destiny. I’m writing a book on the ECE curriculum. My daughter says it seems like I am doing a thesis for a doctorate, and I feel the same way. When I retire I will go back to school. I don’t know what I’ll take, but I am looking forward to it. And it all started because one day I had the courage to stand up for myself.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

Let go of the victim role and start playing from your strengths.

As a physician, I have patients who continually replay the horrible experiences they endured when they were younger. I empathize with their suffering. As a physician I have witnessed many abusive situations; our society still has a long way to go in appreciating other people’s rights. Some people, however, have difficulty in letting go of this trauma and moving on. They become stuck in the victim role and allow their lives to be defined by it. This leads to more suffering and the vicious cycle continues.

Ginette had many reasons to give up on her dreams. But instead of allowing her parents’ neglectful behaviour to dominate her, she has looked at the benefits of the role that was thrust upon her early in life. She discovered her passion for children. She blossomed in the role of caretaker and decided to make it her career. She made up her mind to become a teacher. Once again her mother slammed the door in her face. She refused to support her financially or emotionally, claiming she was too ill to follow that path.

When I first saw Ginette I was struck by the apparent paradox of form and function. She has a petite frame, short hair and a soft voice, yet her passion and determination is fiery, loud and large. Like a strong tree that bends yet doesn’t break, this little dynamo was undeterred. Although she lost her first opportunity to become a teacher, when she discovered she could teach with an ECE certificate she was energized to do it. It took her ten years, during which she struggled constantly with her health, but she did it. She wrote a new script for herself, and did not allow her history to control her. As Ginette put it, “I never recognized my limits, and that is why I probably achieved more than others expected.”

I have found it is not the specific trauma that happens to people in their developing years, but rather the meaning they give it that determines whether or not they successfully move on from it. Ginette saw the tremendous benefits of being with children and made that her mission. You won’t find Ginette bemoaning her ill health or her childhood woes. She has too much to look forward to.

What childhood traumas are you still holding on to? You may not have had a choice back then, but remember – you do now. You need not carry them around. Do not allow your memories to steal your life, because that is all they are. What can you do to let them go? Stand up for yourself. It may be the first time you’ve ever done it. Do it to help yourself. Don’t do it to hurt others. If someone else is hurt, it will just add to your burden.

Write a letter to the involved parties (whether or not they are still alive) where you describe your anger and your hurts. It’s a powerful tool. Go into great detail and don’t leave anything out. When you are done, do not mail it. Burn it; and, as it burns, allow the smoke to carry away your anger.

Once you have done that, think of how your past has benefited you. Yes, one could look at Ginette’s situation and claim she was forced to become a surrogate parent early in life. That is one side of the coin. The other side says those circumstances may have helped her nourish her love of children and develop her special talents for teaching and caring for children. No matter how thin you slice a coin it always has two sides. Admittedly this may not be easy but it may help you move away from the victim role into one of strength. And when you come from a position of strength your resolve rises and you are better able to take on the challenges that confront you.

Lucas Miller

Power Skating & Hockey Coach

“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.”

Winston Churchill

“You’ve got to plan ahead. Time passes so quickly.

It seems like I was 16 only yesterday.”

My dream was to play professional hockey in the National Hockey League (NHL). I was a teen hockey star. People predicted good things for me. Then reality struck me down quicker than a Brett Hull slap shot. The NHL overlooked me I was devastated and heartbroken. But I wasn’t going to relinquish my dream that fast.

I was thrown into hockey at a very young age. My father was a high school teacher who happened to also coach a very good Junior B hockey team. This was back when Junior B produced some talented NHL players. Of course, my dad was also a mentor for me.

I took my first step on skates when I was four. I figure skated for one year and then played in house league for three years. When I was eight I played AAA hockey, the highest division for my age. I played with the Toronto Marlboro Organization for eight years.

To say I loved hockey is an understatement. It instilled in me a burning desire to excel. At a very young age, I decided I was going to be a professional hockey player. That was my dream.

At fifteen, I was chosen very early in the Ontario Hockey League (OHL) draft. . Having scored 127 points in my draft year, I was one of the top-rated players in Ontario.

I had the world by my feet. The TV show, The Fifth Estate, produced a documentary comparing kids who chose to play hockey with the OHL to those who pursued college hockey. They asked my coach in North Bay, Bert Templeton, who his best prospect was and he chose me. The show followed me around an entire year to document my experience.

I was having some good seasons in junior hockey. However I didn’t like what I was hearing. People were saying I had speed and skills but lacked the size to make it to the NHL. That was so frustrating because it was something I couldn’t change. Genetics determined my height, not me. Had the scouts forgotten about great NHL players like Marcel Dionne who were small? What about Wayne Gretzky? He weighed only 165 pounds when he broke into the NHLscene.

I was devastated when no NHL team drafted me. By that time I suspected I wouldn’t get drafted because I hadn’t even made the pre-draft list. My size worked against me for years but I played well in spite of it. Still, no team would take a chance on me. I eased my pain by reasoning that millions of kids aren’t drafted bythe NHL.

My goal remained. I wanted to be a professional hockey player. I would be damned if I was going to allow the NHL to stop me from achieving my dream. It wasn’t the only professional hockey league on the planet. An excellent opportunity to play professional hockey presented itself in Germany and I grabbed it.

My experience overseas was exciting. I played four years in Germany and two in England. In Europe each game drew about 6000 fans. They made more noise there than the full capacity crowd at most Toronto Maple Leaf games. European leagues limit each team to a maximum of six foreign-born players. I was treated like a celebrity, maybe similar to how Wayne Gretzky felt when the Los Angeles Kings courted him to come to their city. The team paid for my house and car. Everyone knew me around town. I was given free meals at restaurants, free drinks at bars and free haircuts, to name a few perks.

My disappointment in hockey taught me an important lesson. Things don’t always work out the way you want or expect, but I had a better chance of succeeding if I was prepared.

I made a conscious decision to plan ahead. At twenty-two, in my second year in Germany, I played with thirty-two-year-old professionals. I was adamant that I wasn’t going to still be playing at thirty-five and then have to pack it all up and start another career without any preparation. Moving away from home at sixteen to play in the OHL helped me mature. I learned to take care of myself and to look ahead.

Each and every year I played professional hockey, I would take a correspondence course. That’s how I got my university degree in physical education. I knew I didn’t want to be like the thousands of players who are lost when their professional hockey career is over. In hockey you never knew when that would happen. Injury could strike in any game and that would be it. I’d be out job hunting.

In my last year of pro hockey I would often listen to top players speaking in the dressing room about their retirement plans. They said they hoped to get a ten-dollar-an-hour job. I wouldn’t say anything but I knew they hadn’t prepared for their inevitable exit from the game. Many never wanted to face that day but that day always arrives, even for the best players. Not everyone goes to the NHL and signs the five million dollar contracts. That is the tiny but loud minority. The rest potentially end up in dead-end jobs because they refused to plan ahead.

In the 2001-2002 season someone body checked me as I was taking a shot. My shoulder popped out and that was the end of my season.

In 2001 I also got married. My wife was a flight attendant and was studying to become a child psychologist. When I played in Europe, and later in the United States, she couldn’t work for eight months of the year while I played hockey. We wanted more stability in our lives. We wanted to live in one place and build a future.

I could have gone back to play the next season after recovering from my injury but I had other responsibilities now. I was committed to a new direction despite the fact that several interested teams continued to call.

After my injury I began instructing hockey to children. While doing this The Fifth Estate called again asking to do a follow-up to my previous show. They titled it, “So where are they now?” That episode made me a star in my own rink. My boss did not appreciate my celebrity status and instead of welcoming the publicity his rink received he ridiculed me. What made it more frustrating was that I was working hard and reaping little reward.

This situation was not foreign to me. Over the years, I had found myself in situations where I didn’t always agree with my coaches decisions and other times where our personalities clashed. I still went out and gave it my all. This was my attitude. Sports taught me to be very disciplined. I learned to focus on what I had to do because so many people try to throw you off your game. It was my boss’s attitude that ultimately led me to start my own power skating and hockey instruction school.

Hockey and power skating instruction doesn’t feel like work to me. I skate every day, have fun and stay in shape. I enjoy seeing people of all ages progress in their skating and hockey skills. I am currently applying to teacher’s college. My ultimate dream is to add teaching to my repertoire because I love to teach on and off the ice. I feel that helping others is what life is all about. And life is short. I don’t have time to brood about what could have been. I didn’t do it when the NHL rejected me and I certainly won’t do it now. Instead, I am constantly planning my next move but still enjoying what I do today.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

Planning can be fun if you are planning for your Dream.

Baruch Spinoza, the great seventeenth century philosopher once said, “Life happens when you are busy planning for tomorrow.” I don’t think he was suggesting that people should not plan ahead. I think he saw how many people spend their present moments in future thoughts and therefore miss their present moments.

However, the other extreme is not good either. Look at many of Lucas’ professional hockey league peers. There were content on focusing only on hockey - today – acting as if they would play ad infinitum. The answer does not lie in choosing one over the other. You have to do both. You need a balance. Lucas said, “I live for today and plan for tomorrow.”

Lucas was mature for his age. He planned ahead from a young age and now has something else to do in his second career. He’s even well on his way towards a third career. If you are a bit older or even a lot older than Lucas you needn’t fret. I often ask people whether they plan to live for another five years. Do you? If so, start something today.

Don’t underestimate what you can accomplish in a few years. If you don’t like what you are doing you need not endure it helplessly. Start taking action by first discovering what it is you want to do. If you don’t have a clue, look for a coach. Then make an appointment. Thinking about it only brings you more frustration. You can think about things all day long. Until you actually do something they will remain thoughts. But once you start to break free of the force of inertia you will start noticing other opportunities you couldn’t have possibly seen by thinking about it. Put the wheels in motion and the scenery changes.

Once you are in motion draw up a game plan of what an ideal situation would be for you. At first, put aside a small period of time each week to follow your dreams. That may be only one or two hours. That’s okay. You don’t want to develop high expectations and fall way short in the beginning. That is a sure-fire way of sabotaging yourself. Be easy on yourself when you start. Set the bar too low at first. You want to build momentum. Nothing succeeds like success.

In the same vein, don’t tell anyone who you think won’t support your dream one hundred per cent. They may derail you when you are just starting to roll. Take it nice and slow at first. As a physician I have seen so many people break their New Year’s resolutions of getting into shape with an overuse injury. That usually happens around February. They rush into their program so quickly that they don’t allow their body to adapt to the new routine.

Allow your new passion to develop its own momentum. If you have found something you love rest assured that it will motivate you to do it. You won’t have to push yourself. It won’t feel like a chore. Still resist the urge to surge ahead top speed before you are ready. Hold the reigns back for the first six months. Increase your allotted time for your dream slowly. Before long you may find yourself doing it one hour an evening. Omitting an hour of television each night will easily accomplish that. The average North Americans spend over twenty-two hours a week watching television.

After a year you will have built up momentum and gained knowledge, which will sustain your interest. It won’t feel like work. You will ask yourself why you didn’t start it earlier. That’s not the point. Know that when you follow your dream you are in your dream! Let me repeat that – When you follow your dream you are already in your dream.

Your dream is not a destination. It is a path. Just getting on the path makes you feel great. It will give your life meaning. Did you ever notice when you are playing a sport you truly enjoy that it is the sport that brings you pleasure. I enjoy playing golf. I am an average player and would like to improve. But that doesn’t drive me. I play golf because I like playing golf. I buy magazines on golf. When looking at vacation choices I look at the quality of the golf course. I look forward to a game, weeks in advance. And when I wake up the morning of a game, I’m excited. I don’t have to reach a certain level of golf expertise to enjoy the game. I enjoy it now.

Similarly, just following your dream will bring you joy and won’t feel like work. There will be struggles like in anything worthwhile. But if you move slowly you will continually be drawn back to it because it is what you love.

Stop waiting? Start today. Start right now. Do something now to get the wheels in motion. Do not allow inertia to drag you back down to a standstill. Take action now.

John Robinson

Antique Reproduction Chair Maker

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has

genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

“I have probably the best job of anybody I know.”

‘Casual’ was my first impression of John Robinson. He was dressed in jeans and an old flannel shirt covering a t-shirt. He had scruffy hair and a little more than a five o’clock shadow. His words were measured and his pace was slow. This is just the way he likes it now although the road that got him here was anything but smooth.

I was born in a rural community. My father owned a construction company and I began unofficially apprenticing in the business at the age of thirteen. Over the years I became a skilled contractor and began working for my father right after high school. I enjoyed the work, and within a year I was managing the office. I was able to use my organizational talents in this role and became quite adept at it.

After a while I began to struggle with the job. The industry began losing touch with people. At one time when I had a problem I would go directly to the person responsible, and talk to him about it. Eventually we would be able to iron everything out. However, advancements in technology led to distancing of relationships. I became further removed from the people who could do something about a problem. A computer transmitted the problem over the internet. Someone on the other end would pass it on, and then someone else would relay it back to his associate who would then e- mail me. The final message would have little to do with my original question. The internet became a place where the faster I worked, the less I got done. I found I couldn’t trust people as much.

This got to the point where it began to wear away at my well- being. I was showing clear signs of burnout. My marriage was already shaky. I became withdrawn and short-tempered, and was accomplishing less and less at work. I hated even going to work. Then I had a nervous breakdown, which just added to the existent friction in my marriage. This ultimately led to my divorce.

I basically walked away from the industry. Although I did take some construction jobs to supplement my income over the next several years, I needed a break. I needed to get reacquainted with my true self. I sure wasn’t the same person who had been doing the work I had done for the previous twenty-three years. I finally realized I had been living my father ’s life.

I had been living in denial for too long, often telling myself, “Tomorrow will be better.” It gave me a false sense of security and ultimately led me further away from peace of mind. I was continually giving up long-term gain to get some short-term relief from pain.

While my life was unraveling before my eyes I started to look for a diversion from work. I needed something to keep me going. My ex- wife got our house, so I bought myself another one. Now I needed to furnish it. I wanted a special type of chair that would fit into my new home’s rustic décor; however the price of antique Windsor chairs was prohibitive, so I decided to make one myself. Keep in mind I knew next to nothing about making chairs.

I found a book, which would be the turning point in my life, titled Make a Windsor Chair With Michael Dunbar, by Michael Dunbar (Taunton Press Inc., 1985). He is one of the preeminent Windsor Chair makers in the world. I studied it, and then using what I learned in the book, plus a little creativity of my own, I began constructing my own Windsor Chairs.

As my chairs began to take shape, so did my life. For the first time in a long time I began to relax. I became so engrossed in my new hobby that my other problems temporarily faded into the background.

I never started out thinking about what I wanted as a second career, I just knew I wanted to slow down. I knew that I wanted a diversion. When I found that diversion I just went with the flow. I didn’t just think about doing something, I went out and did it.

After a couple of years of making chairs on my own, I contacted Michael Dunbar in New Hampshire and enrolled in one of his courses in making Windsor Chairs. Once we began working, my mentor recognized my talents immediately. He teased me immodestly, “You hang around me long enough and I’ll make you a famous chair maker.” We developed a bond right from the start. Michael often introduces me with a smile, as the second best Windsor chair maker in the world.

I now teach Windsor chair making classes in Virginia as well as my own home shop. I still love making chairs. I have made over a thousand of them, all by hand. My avocation became my vocation.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

Taking action on your dream is as important as the dream itself.

Renowned American psychologist, Abraham Maslow, said that people need two things to become fully self-actualized: inner exploration and action.

John’s story is typical of the people I interviewed. He acted on what made him feel good. He didn’t just dream about it, hoping that someday he would do it.

The key is to START! Just start doing something and things will flow from there. John had no idea that making chairs was going to be his Dream Business. He just knew it interested him so he read up on it and started making chairs. He enjoyed it and it relaxed him, and it grew from there.

Eventually he became very good at his craft because he did it a lot, and was passionate about learning more. He went down to meet his mentor, who immediately recognized his talent.

If you have an itch, scratch it. Let your feelings be your guide. If it energizes you, relaxes you, or gives you a strong sense of purpose, go with it. Most of all do something about your feelings. If you don’t, those feelings will dissipate and leave you with only painful regrets that will haunt you later in life.

Conclusion

The people in this book are ordinary people whose passions and life purpose spurred them on to do extraordinary things. They had the courage to not only dream, but to do whatever it took to make that dream a reality. As a testament to my respect, I have used the services of people in this book and have happily referred them to my friends. You see, what I found was that these people who loved what they were doing were also really good at it. And I don’t think this was merely a coincidence. If you love what you do, you will have the passion and the interest and the motivation to continually learn and grow and improve. Researching your field will no longer be a laborious task just to get it done. Rather, it will be a labour of love. That is what I discovered when I undertook the task of writing this book. It became my labour of love, and my gift to you.

The tragedy of 9/11 caused many people to sit back and take stock of their lives. If life can end so suddenly, they are saying they want to do something worthwhile while they are on this ride called planet Earth. The bad news is that high work stress increases your risk for chronic pain, illnesses, heart disease, depression and premature death. No question. I am not telling you this to be a doomsayer. I am telling you this because I want you to wake up from your slumber.

The good news is that there is a flip-side: people who are satisfied with their careers and love what they do, live longer and are less prone to illness. And you can do something about it. We are not immortal. If you dislike what you are doing, start doing something else – today. There are steps you can take right now.

Ask yourself, “What was it I always wanted to do?” “What did I enjoy doing as a child?” Look into that course you always wanted to take. Turn off the TV and take a half-hour to dream of the possibilities. Write them down.

If you need assistance in this area, as most people do, I can help guide you so you can choose the best business for you. It has to be a good match for your unique passions, purpose and pure talents. It need not be a random guess. There is a method to doing this. First you must focus on “WHAT” you want to do before you focus on the money. Most people get this backwards, which is one of the major reasons why so many people are confused in understanding their own custom-fit business.

When you do choose right you will feel more confident, creative, connected to the work and an inner calm. What I am talking about is how you live your life on a day-to-day basis. What I learned from talking to hundreds of people who love their work, is that there is no better reward than being happy with what you are doing.

Find Your Own Custom-Fit Business

Dr. Sam Gerstein, Business Coach