Myth: “I Can’t Leave My Secure Job” --- BUSTED

FROM THE SERIES

LIVE YOUR DREAMS:
Doctor’s Orders

Revealing Evidence Of Why This Myth Is False And How You Too Can Discover And Start Your Own Unique Custom-Fit Business

Samuel Gerstein, M.D.

Foreword by JACK CANFIELD,

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Amazon Kindle Edition

Stories From the Book: Live Your Dreams: Doctor’s Orders

More Praise…

“Dr. Gerstein introduces us to 40 individuals who have accomplished the impossible to reach profound success. It is through the guidance of those who have traveled the path before us that we can learn to achieve our own life dreams. This book is a priceless treasure of tried-and-true wisdom for all ages.”

Nido Qubein, President, High Point University,

Chairman, Great Harvest Bread Co.

✦

“Dr. Gerstein has shown us, through many real examples, how we can convert dreams from aspiration to reality. If you have a dream, but have not realized it yet, read this book and inspire yourself to action!”

Dr. Lance Secretan, Author, ONE:

The Art and Practice of Conscious Leadership.

✦

“The people in these stories will serve as role models for anyone who wants to live their dreams.”

Robin Sharma, #1 Bestselling author of The Greatness Guide.

✦

“You can change your life or your attitude towards your life. We are all capable of change when we have the desire and intention to do so. This book can help coach and guide you and show you that reinventing yourself is possible.”

Bernie Siegel, MD, Author of 365 Prescriptions

For The Soul and Prescriptions For Living

✦

“It’s one thing to dream. It’s another thing to have your doctor help you turn your dream into success. Read Live Your Dreams: Doctor ’s Orders and your dreams may come true.”

W. Mitchell, C.P.A.E., Author of It's Not

What Happens to You, It's What You Do About It.

Myth: I Can’t Leave My Secure Job --- BUSTED

Copyright 2018 by Dreams for Real Inc. All rights reserved. Printed in Canada. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address Dreams for Real Inc., 5863 Leslie Street, Suite 316 Toronto, Ontario, Canada M2H 1J8.

www.dreamsforreal.com

Gerstein, Samuel, 1957-

Myth: I Can’t Leave My Secure Job --- BUSTED / Samuel Gerstein.

1. Small Business and Entrepreneurship (Business) I. Title.

This book is dedicated to my parents who gave me the opportunity to explore my dream, to my wife, Michelle, who believed in my dream and supported me every step along the way, and to my children, Ryan and Casey, so they will know that their dreams are real.

Contents

Disclaimer

Foreword of Live Your Dreams: Doctor's Orders by Jack Canfield

Introduction

Dr. Samuel Gerstein, M.D., Business Coach

Mark Gelgor

Robin Tapley

Brenda Barnes

Noel Gordon

Conclusion

Myth Busters:

Mark Gelgor - Operations Director of Sportball™

Robin Tapley - Creator and Leader of Nature Tourism Programs

Brenda Barnes - Owner, Operator and Principal of Martingrove Montessori School

Noel Gordon - Cook

Disclaimer

This book was written with the intent of expanding people’s awareness of what is possible in the world of work. All of the stories of the people in the book are true accounts of their working lives up to the time of the interviews that were used as the foundation for the research for the book.

The lessons that are related by the people in the book, as well as by Dr. Gerstein, are the opinions of the aforementioned authors. This book gives no guarantee of success or of reproducing any of the results achieved by the people interviewed for this book by following the lessons outlined in the text. In fact, one of the key concepts in the book is that people’s life directions are as unique as the people themselves. No one can tell you what to do. That comes from within. Use this book to stimulate your own thought process of what may be right for you.

Every effort has been made to make this book as complete and accurate as possible. However, there may be mistakes both typographical and in content, therefore, the text should be used as a general guide and not as the ultimate source for career guidance.

The purpose of the book is to educate and entertain. The author and publisher assume no liability for any loss or damages alleged to be caused by the contents contained in the book. Please consult the appropriate professionals to obtain specific information regarding your personal situation.

Foreword of Live Your Dreams:
Doctor's Orders
by Jack Canfield

In our first Chicken Soup for the Soul book, I tell a story of visiting the Temple of the Golden Buddha in Thailand. I was astounded to learn that this awesome solid-gold Buddha smiling down at us had been covered by a thick layer of clay for hundreds of years.

Historians believe that Siamese monks applied the clay to keep their precious treasure from being looted by an invading army. Unfortunately, it appears that all the monks were killed by the invaders, and the well-kept secret of the golden Buddha remained intact until 1957 when the statue had to be moved. To everyone’s shock some clay fell off, and when the startled head monk applied a hammer and chisel, he discovered the sold-gold treasure underneath.

As we flew home I thought to myself, “We are all like that Buddha, covered with a shell of hardness created out of fear. Yet underneath, each of us is a ‘golden Buddha; a ‘golden Christ’ or a ‘golden essence’ which is our real self. Somewhere between the ages of two and nine we begin to cover up our ‘golden essence.’ Much like the monk with the hammer and the chisel, our task now is to discover our true essence once again!”

In “Live Your Dreams – Doctor’s Orders” - Dr. Gerstein does a superb job of exposing the true golden essence of forty ordinary people who all found a way to overcome their fear, chip off the clay and go for their dream. And after each story, he provides tips on how you, the reader can do it too.

There are many books out there today on how to achieve your dreams and find success. In this book Dr. Gerstein shows us what can happen when those principles are actually applied. By going beyond the tired theories of how to ‘find a good job,’ he opted to shoot for the moon and found example after example of people actually living their dreams at work. Based not on money, but on passion, joy and fulfillment - their dreams are no fantasy, but fully realized. Today, all of them are doing what they love, and their diverse and very individual stories show us all what living your dream can actually look like.

Too often in today’s society we stop short of the dream. Instead, we focus on decreasing our pain, managing our stress and treating our illnesses. But why do we stop there? After all, good health is so much more than simply a lack of illness. It is a vitality for life, an abundance of energy that is our birth right. Good health is a good attitude, a strong body and a vibrant mind.

Dr. Samuel Gerstein walks his talk. As you will see from his personal story which begins the book, he was feeling the effects of work stress himself several years ago. His own journey of self discovery led him to his dream of helping others find theirs. I believe this book will inspire you to do the same. Read it if you are feeling lost, or if your work has little meaning. Read it if you are dissatisfied with or hate your job. Read it if you have given up hope that the majority of your adult life spent at work will ever be enjoyable or fulfilling.

One of the best ways to learn anything new is through the use of role models. Dr. Gerstein has provided us with forty powerful role models in people who overcame their fears and all the reasons why they ‘couldn’t,’ and through dogged determination and creative resourceful-ness found a way to achieve their dream. And because we are all unique, the wisdom and inspiration in this book can be utilized as much by a confused young high school senior as a by disgruntled senior manager of a large downtown firm.

When Mark Victor Hansen and I created Chicken Soup for the Soul, our mission was to heal and change the world one story at a time. I am moved by the forty very special stories Dr. Gerstein has found and given to the world. They are an inspiration to all people who want to live their dream. It’s a book that is meant to be read, absorbed and acted on. If you are tired of ‘settling’ in your life, see yourself doing what these people have done, and know that if they can do it, so can you.

Jack Canfield

Co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series and

Author of The Success Principles™

Introduction

The status quo feels secure and comfortable but that is only an illusion because the world is changing faster and faster. It is a survival instinct rooted in fear and wants to keep you safe and sound. That is why it is so hard to change it. It may make sense if you are hunkering down inside somewhere warm and dry while waiting out the storm; it no longer seems as sensible if you only imagine an incoming storm.

No wonder people get stuck in their work. People would rather stay in “soul-sucking jobs” for years than risk losing their “security”.

Now, think back to the times when you forced to change any situation. It could be when you changed school as a kid, moved away to attend university or visit a foreign country. It could be when you divorced, moved homes or lost a job. How did you cope? Did your life fall apart or, did you manage? Chances are you adjusted to your new situation and maybe even thrived. And that was when you were forced into it.

What if you had time to plan it?

What if you could try out your new ideas before you actually took the leap? Once you discover your new life direction begin doing it on weekends or one evening a week; even one hour a week will get you moving in the right direction. If you are like most people, you will probably be able to squeeze out a few more hours by cutting back on your TV viewing (The average American adult watches over 5 hours of TV a day!) or social media time. It doesn’t take a lot of money or time to start this way. And you will see opportunities that you would otherwise miss.

In the stories that follow you will see how people found both a way to maintain some security while pursuing their Dream Business. Each of these inspiring individuals had to overcome at least one major challenge. To name a couple, Mark Gelgor was running out of money and was contemplating returning to his native South Africa before he found a way of making his dream work. Brenda Barnes felt unsupported by her husband in her Dream and had to make a tough choice, which she didn’t shy away from.

Remember, these obstacles or myths may be the echo of the doubting voices still chattering away in your own head. They may be the principles you have erroneously adopted as truth. Now is the time to separate fact from fiction. Read the true stories of people who have personally debunked the myth that you cannot find and start your Dream Business. Indeed you can, and these people are the proof. In the stories that follow you will see how people found both a way to maintain some security while pursuing their Dream Business.

You are not alone in your quest for living your dream. The only difference between the people in this book and you may be that the former group found their Dream Business and you haven’t yet. Their fires are burning strong and yours maybe simmering embers. Let the people in this book help rekindle your own inner flame. See how they overcame their struggles, and by association, let them show you how you can overcome yours.

They did it. Now it’s your turn.

Follow Your Dreams

Dr. Sam Gerstein – Business Coach

Dr. Samuel Gerstein, M.D., Business Coach

The Author’s Story:

As an emergency physician it was my job to help people in pain. I had been doing that for fifteen years, doing the very best I could for my patients. At times I overlooked my own pain, and ignored the growing void inside of me, hiding behind a façade that everything was going well. However, the longer I ignored it, the larger the void became, and the harder it became to ignore it.

I now understand a universal law: The universe has lessons to teach everyone. If you don’t get the lesson the first time it will increase the intensity of the lesson until you have to pay attention. I finally got my lesson when the universe sent a startling coincidence onto my path.

In his bestselling book The Celestine Prophecy, author James Redfield speaks about nine insights the human race will discover as it enters the era of spiritual awareness. The first insight is to pay attention to mysterious coincidences. He says once you interpret these sudden, synchronistic events, they will lead you to your destiny. I don’t know about the validity of all the insights he suggests, but I have witnessed some startling scenes of synchronicity in my own life, as well as in the lives of the people whose stories I share in this book.

About nine years ago I realized I was growing frustrated at work and wanted something more. I had seen so much despair in people who had given up on themselves, and I knew I could do more for them. This angst carried over to my family life where small things began to irritate me. I knew this because one summer while on vacation I found myself in a heated argument with my wife Michelle, over a seemingly negligible matter. I was on a break for some R&R, and here I was arguing and upset over some small matter. Maybe I didn’t really need a break. Maybe what I needed was to scratch that itch that had been nagging at me for some time.

I told Michelle I had felt myself to be very tense lately, and maybe a massage would help relax me. Prior to that I had received maybe two paid massages in my life, so it certainly wasn’t a part of my routine. Years before someone had told me about a specific spa downtown. We had tickets to go to a Blue Jays baseball game the same day so, on the spur of the moment, I made a reservation to go to that particular spa right before the game. Michelle took advantage of my plan and made an appointment herself for a manicure, pedicure and facial.

After my massage and while waiting for my wife, I went to the counter to pass the time. I picked up what looked like an interesting book, bought it and promptly headed to the hot tub to begin reading. I couldn’t put it down and was almost a prune when I emerged.

The book was called Passionate Longevity, by Elaine Dembe, and the concepts in the book enthralled me. In it she talked about the life lessons of elderly people as they looked back over their lives. They spoke about what was truly meaningful for them, and about things they would and wouldn’t do if they had the chance to live over again.

We went to the ball game, but I couldn’t take my mind off that book and how it related to my life. Was I really doing what I wanted? Would I regret it when I was in my eighties? I couldn’t tell you the score of the game, but I finished the book the next day. I was so inspired I wanted to call the author and speak with her. Now there were dozens of books on spirituality, personal development and motivation in the bookstores at the time, most of them by American authors. I could have chosen any one of those best sellers in the spa that day but it was hers I picked up. When I read that the author worked and lived in Toronto not far from me, I was floored.

I contacted Elaine immediately and she happily agreed to speak to me. It happened that I was suffering from some back pain at the time. It turned out that Elaine was also a chiropractor, and one very energetic lady. I met with her several times for my back, and also to talk to her about my frustrations. She suggested I explore two centres in the United States to continue my journey. When I received their brochures, one course stood out above the rest so I signed up for it immediately. It was called Lifeshaping, and was a big factor in how I changed my life.

The content and facilitator of the course were excellent. However, it was as much about me being ready to hear the message that was instrumental in changing my life direction. That old Buddhist saying, when the pupil is ready the teacher appears, really is true. Over the next two summers I ended up assisting and then co-facilitating the course with its creator, Ingrid Brendenburg, and that was what got me started on the path to what I am doing now.

I decided to start listening to my heart and begin doing what feels good and right to me. It only made sense that if I wanted others to do that, I should be doing it myself. My intention was to not evaluate myself on the results as I have done for so many things in my life, but rather to simply enjoy the process.

In the transition period I began taking extra courses that interested me. I didn’t have a specific plan; I just followed where my passions led me. I took a psychology course in NLP – (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and became a master practitioner. I took an Adult Education Facilitation course, joined a Toastmasters Club and became a local member of CAPS – the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers in Toronto. I also had fun doing some improvisational acting at Second City. Over the next three years I juggled these extracurricular activities while continuing to work in the ER, and spending time with my young family. I simply trusted I was moving in the right direction because I was following my heart.

I began reading more of Dr. Abraham Maslow’s and Dr. Carl Roger ’s theories of self-actualization, and about people reaching their full potential and how they did it. Somewhere in there I began writing material to help people follow their dreams.

Shortly thereafter I dug into my savings to create my own company, Dreams For Real Incorporated. For the first four years our family cut back on some nonessentials like vacations, and I picked up some extra shifts in the ER to help with the expenses.

After having worked in socialized medicine for so long I knew I had to become skilled in the world of business. I took marketing courses to help me promote my seminars and my professional speaking services. They showed me ways to make my own dream real, and turn it into a viable business. I gave free speeches to several community service organizations like the Rotary Club. I did my first no-fee seminar out of my home. The anxiety I felt before the seminar was nothing compared to the exhilaration I experienced after it was done. I would never have known that if I had just sat back and hoped it would happen. I had to actually take action.

I did a lot on my own, and I take great pride in going after my goal and achieving it. But I soon realized I would go a lot further, a lot faster if I had help. Besides, it would be more fun having others with whom to share my experiences. I began asking for help.

I started a Mastermind group comprised of like-minded people who had information they wanted to share with others. Whenever I felt frightened or worried I opened up to them. I was no longer hiding behind the façade that everything was going well. Besides, no one had ever believed it anyway. I had just been fooling myself, and was really afraid to admit I had challenges too. I found that just naming them and

talking about them in front of my friends was a huge relief. The people in that group have been a tremendous resource for support and assistance.

I soon realized I could not do it all, and began delegating parts of my business I had no interest in. For me this included computer and web-based issues and publishing. I focused on what I loved – writing about living your dreams and helping other people do it.

Despite all of this, I realized something was still missing. This time I was conscious to the message, and paid attention. I had woken up. Through my work I was now delivering to people a lot of important information and techniques, but I was lacking key role models for following one’s dreams. As Yogi Berra said, “You've got to be careful if you don't know where you're going 'cause you might not get there.”

From my patients, I had many role models for the mental and physical effects of work stress. But I realized I had very little in the way of what dreams look like in the real world once they’ve been manifested and realized.

That was it! That was the missing ingredient. I knew I had to go out and find people who were living their dreams and get their stories before I could really show others how to do it. It made so much sense. To the naysayers, they would be living proof that it was possible. To the curious, they would be an enigma. And to the people who were secretly or openly interested in living their own dreams, they would be a roadmap.

And so I began what I didn’t realize would become a huge undertaking. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I interviewed over two hundred people, over a hundred of which were formal meetings. I drove to wherever they worked or lived, at any hour that was convenient to them. My journey took me to many corners of Toronto and its neighbouring cities and towns. Each and every person I met inspired me in some way, and I knew they would inspire others too. It took me two-and-a-half years to complete the interviews, and another year-and-a-half to transcribe them and write this book. I did this work around my family times and while continuing my ER duties at the hospital. I enjoyed every minute of it.

Pouring over the notes I had taken, I teased out the key common themes to how the people who were living their dreams had actually done it. Once that was done, I put it all together in a program, and then used that program to overhaul my seminars. It also became the cornerstone for setting up my own psychotherapy practice, where I help individuals overcome their personal struggles to follow their own true path.

My biggest obstacle was there was no roadmap to follow to do this. Unlike medical training, there was no curriculum to follow and no test with which to measure my competencies. There were weeks when I didn’t have any leads for where I would find the next person to interview in their dream business. I was often disappointed and dejected. At those times my wife would step up to the plate and reassure me this was only a temporary lull. My Mastermind group was a tremendous support as well.

What kept me motivated was my belief in what I was doing, and my enthusiasm to help others live their dreams. I have witnessed so much despair in my years at the hospital, and I’ve been so saddened watching people give up on themselves, not realizing they could live their life by following their own script. I would think of the quizzical looks on the faces of the people I asked about their dreams – people who had never even been asked what they wanted, who had been told what they should be doing. I knew it wasn’t right, and they could be so much happier if they were true to themselves. I refused to let my despair win, and I vowed not to give up.

On my good days I remembered the other side of the coin of not having a set path to follow. I reminded myself I could be creative and follow my own instincts. I was not hamstrung by other people’s agendas. I was free to do what I thought was best for my clients. The obstacle that I was facing, having no roadmap or set course to follow, was inherently also a benefit.

I can say in all honesty that I now feel more complete in my vocation as a doctor – as a healer. I help people both proactively and reactively. I know that in stress-related diseases there is often a five- to ten-year lag time between emotional distress and the physical manifestation of that stress. I feel that I now have more balance in my life, and I’m more at peace with myself. I know I am doing what I love because no one has to tell me to do it.

I look forward to creating better techniques to help people achieve their Dream Goals. After working in the ER and playing with my young children, I often work in my home office for hours some evenings. It is definitely a labour of love. I also know it is a good fit because I continually talk to my wife about ideas I have for such and such a seminar or book. Sometimes I forget that it’s my dream and not hers. Sometimes I go on a tad too much – to the point where she is the one needing a break from my dream. I am having so much fun I don’t even consider it work.

It took me forty years to hear the true message of what my heart had been whispering to me all along. It was a “coincidence” that woke me up. You can bet that I have been paying close attention ever since.

“Dreams without action are fantasy. Actions without dreams are empty. Dreams combined with actions manifest one’s destiny.”

Samuel Gerstein

Mark Gelgor

Operations Director of Sportball™

“Initially invest ten times the effort and energy up front,

for one times the return. Later you will get ten times

the return for one times the effort and energy.”

Ken Vegotsky

“For the first three years I was working until 2 a.m., seven days a week solid. What sustained me was the love for the work, and the children’s enjoyment of our program.”

Changing countries AND changing careers was not a small challenge. It turned into a ride I wish I had begun a lot earlier.

I grew up in South Africa. As a child I was fairly artistic, and enjoyed sculpting and painting. My artistic nature, coupled with living in a country where jewelry is a large industry, led me to believe I could succeed creatively in that field. I began making jewelry, and by 1983 I was managing a jewelry workshop. After a big retail chain bought us up, a series of robberies followed, and our insurance premiums skyrocketed. The stress became too much for me. While driving to work, I sometimes found myself banging my head on the steering wheel with dread. To say my job satisfaction was in decline would be an understatement. I began hating every minute of it.

The stress and dread began affecting my health. I would wake up in the middle of the night completely drenched in sweat. Convinced there must be something seriously wrong with me, I sought medical help. But when the doctors ran tests, they came up empty. They neglected to ask me about the effects my work stress was having on me. My only reprieve for the week was coaching kids’ sports on the weekend. I loved it, and that turned out to be a clue for my future Dream Business.

In the middle of winter, in 1991, I came to Canada to visit my cousin. Because of my interest in sports, I asked him to take me to a hockey game. What I saw at that game blew me away. As I watched the kids on the ice, a father began yelling at his five-year-old son. As he berated him, I saw the look of disappointment on the child’s face. The berating continued after the child came off the ice. I was already shocked by the cold climate in Canada, but it was the cold climate inside the arena between that father and son that truly rattled and distressed me. I decided to come back one spring to see if things had warmed up in all areas of Canadian life.

When I returned in early 1994 I took a deep breath of the warm spring breezes that were blowing. People were no longer bundled in their winter wear, and already I was more optimistic about what I would find in the sports fields. When I attended a soccer game in a nearby field, this time I witnessed a different scenario. It also cried out for attention, but of a different nature. As I watched, I saw children who simply lacked the skills to play the game. Immediately I recognized a potential niche in this country – children who needed to learn the skills of sports.

I had always loved playing sports. I was quite proficient in gymnastics and enjoyed playing cricket, tennis, squash and soccer. With this background I reasoned I could teach children the skills required for various sports. I had coached children in South Africa, and I could do it in Canada. Sports are sports. I am also a kid at heart, and I decided it was a dream match for me. Now came the hard part – making that dream a reality. It turned out to be even harder than I thought.

When my wife, Carmella, and I immigrated to Canada the next year, my fears got the best of me. In the space on the immigration form asking for “career” I wrote in “jeweler.” Even though I now had another dream, I rationalized that a fresh start in the jewelry business in a new country might rejuvenate me. I couldn’t have been more wrong. After only four days on the job, I quit! I walked away but would return for a short while out of necessity.

The sale of my assets in South Africa had not netted as much as I hoped because of the poor currency exchange rate. Once we converted our money we were left with only enough to live in Canada for about a year. What was I going to do? How would I get started in my new career?

Someone suggested I get a book called, Help, We’ve Got Kids. In a search for potential customers for my services, I called every business in that book. Carmella and I were determined to make this work. We made hundreds of cold calls. We often showcased our program to interested parents who would call later to find out more about it. Our ratio of calls to appointments was about twenty-five to one; however, when we started doing face-to-face selling, that ratio dramatically improved.

We had only enough money to lease one van in which we carried around all our sports equipment. For the first nine months we made a pittance working at schools, community centres and sports clubs. We were struggling badly, and I began to seriously grow nervous about our financial situation. In a bit of a panic I opened the job section of the paper and looked at some jewelry ads – the industry I thought I had walked away from for good. I ended up making copper bracelets for three or four hours a night for several months, and this brought in some badly needed cash.

In the middle of that tough first year we sometimes wondered if we should go back to South Africa. Things just didn’t seem to be working out. If we went back, at least we would have a way of earning an income that was familiar. But neither of us wanted to do that, so we made an agreement to give it 100% for two years and promised not to consider any alternatives until the two years were up. Only then would we reassess our financial situation.

For the first three years Carmella and I both put in seven-day weeks. When some friends asked us to join them at an Earth, Wind and Fire concert that would have set us back over $100, we passed, thinking of how we could use that money in our business. It was three years before either of us could relax on a weekend. I often worked until 2 a.m. I’d go to bed exhausted and wake up at 8 a.m. to lead another group of children. What sustained me was my passion for what I was doing, and the kids.

Despite all the hardships of starting the business, it was the kids that kept me going. One day I wasn’t feeling too well. Coming to a new country and playing with children all day long meant I contracted all of the colds and viruses they brought with them. I had no immunity to any of it. That day I woke up vomiting. I couldn’t call in sick because I was running the program, while my wife was handling the marketing and logistical arrangements. The kids could see I wasn’t feeling so well. Then, one of the little ones in my morning class came up and asked, “Mark, if I sit on your lap will that make you feel better?” How could I not be motivated with that kind of love around me? I love what the program does for children. For example, one day a three-year-old boy named Lou came into one of our classes, wearing his mother ’s hat. I guess she dressed him in it because she thought he looked cute, but all it brought him was ridicule from the other children.

Lou was introverted and overweight – a recipe for disaster if left unchecked in his early school years. I wanted to help turn this child around and give him some confidence through athleticism. At the beginning of each class I quietly removed the hat. Then I slowly taught Lou the fundamental skills of sport. Eventually, he became more coordinated in all areas of sport. At the end of three years Lou sported a baseball cap turned backwards, and the other kids were saying, “I want to be on Lou’s team.” It was quite a change for this child, and I felt great knowing I had a hand in helping him, not only in sports, but in life.

All of our hard work finally began to pay off. At the end of our first year, one of the schools we worked for gave us our first long-term contract. It was the first time we’d had any kind of security at all in our business. To this day we still go out and do programs for that school because of our gratitude; they believed in us when we were just starting out. By the end of that first year we had earned about $2,000. Not much, but it was a start.

We continued to market our program to the public, learning as we went. On one occasion Carmella and I worked diligently to set up a demo for families at a local cricket club. On the day the demo ran, we had not yet secured a facility to run the program. We ended up taking the parent’s phone numbers, assuring them we would call them shortly with the location. But these parents were excited enough by the demo that most of them didn’t bother to wait for our call. Instead, they enrolled their children in a competitor ’s program. We did the marketing and another program got the sale!

I was depressed for about five days. So much effort gone to waste. On the fifth day I woke up and said to myself, “Learn and move on,” And that is what we did. We learned to always secure the facility before we do the demo so we can sign the children up on the spot. In addition, we developed the habit of waking up every morning at 8 a.m. no matter what time our programs start that day. It gets us going, and I believe that when we are moving and connecting to people good things will happen.

After eighteen months we decided we had to start charging per child in order to have any chance of making this program work. We got out of the school programming and began offering our services independently. By the end of the second year we had a hundred and twenty children enrolled in Sportball™ classes around the city. Additionally, we each hired one assistant to help us with the growing business, and one of those became our first coach. It was the first time I realized I could teach someone else to do what I did, freeing up my time to expand the business. It was a turning point for us. While I discovered that I can teach others to coach my way, I cannot teach them the passion I have for what I do. Making sure our coaches have that passion comes through careful selection in the hiring process.

In the first year we began with three children in our first independent class at a country club. Now we have 2,700 children enrolled per week, employ twenty-eight coaches and are still growing. The financial success is great. But I know I would never have gotten this far if not for the pleasure I experience when working with the children.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

Hard work early on in your Dream will pay big dividends later.

Mark didn’t have a lot of money to start his Dream Business. He had fewer savings than what he had expected because of the poor exchange rate between his South African rand and the Canadian dollar. When his company did not take off immediately Mark did not quit. He persevered until he saw the results he wanted.

At the beginning Mark reluctantly worked in his former industry to earn some needed cash to stay afloat. He learned from mistakes, and redirected his efforts to begin independent sports programs instead of affiliating with schools. He also decreased his spending in the first few years of his startup, watching carefully to not fritter his cash away on anything superfluous. He knew any savings at this time would make a huge difference later.

Today we live in an immediate gratification society. We want things and we want them now. From the people I interviewed I learned that if you invest a lot of work in the first few years of your venture, it will pay dividends later. This is a key piece of wisdom that they passed on to me. There is no magic short-cut to your dream, and if there is I haven’t found many people who took it. I will go one step further: If you did happen to find and take this mythical magical short-cut you would probably not be as satisfied when you got to where you wanted to go. Part of the satisfaction comes in the struggle to follow your unique path. Did you ever notice how you appreciate those things in life that were the most challenging to acquire?

Your path is a lifelong journey, not a destination. So put in the time and effort now, and you will see the benefits of your work down the road.

Robin Tapley

Creator and Leader of Nature Tourism programs

“Our success has really been based

on partnerships from the very beginning.”

Bill Gates

“I was flabbergasted... I had no idea there could be this kind of interest for what I considered a hobby of mine.”

I was born around nature and grew up in nature. It comes as no surprise to me that my Dream Business is in nature. But I had no inkling that I would find it the way I did.

As a young boy, I was always interested in nature. I grew up on the edge of Canada’s famous Algonquin Provincial Park. When I was eight years old, I crossed paths with a rough grouse. I suddenly found myself staring at this bird about the size of a chicken. I had no idea what it was, but I was totally intrigued so I followed it through the woods in the dark. Already I was in my element.

As I got older, I became a bird lover and continued to track them just to see where they would go. In order to do this, I learned to always keep my eyes and ears open. This habit turned out to be the key to discovering my Dream Business.

In university I majored in business and marketing, and when I graduated, I got a position at The Minaki Lodge, a fishing lodge in northern Ontario. Then I got my pilot’s license, so I was able to fly fishermen around to various fishing hot spots. From my vantage point in the air, I could see where logging was being conducted, and I became very concerned about the welfare of the rare birds in those areas. That’s when I started recording the nesting sites of bald eagles, which I could also clearly see from my aircraft.

This began as a special interest hobby for me, but it turned into a part-time job. When I called the Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources and told them about the work I’d been doing, they were very interested in receiving my research on a regular basis. I would first locate the nests from the air, and then visit the sites by boat. We counted the number of eggs and baby chicks and recorded survival rates in the area. The ministry took that information and was able to divert loggers away from areas of any endangered species.

One day, a couple of guests were on the dock when I returned. We chatted as I tied up the plane, and when they learned what I’d being doing, they asked if they could join me the next day on my route, and I agreed. So I flew them around, gave them a bit of a narrative, and they enjoyed it immensely. In fact, they found their little excursion so interesting they told their friends about it at dinner. Lo and behold the next morning I was greeted by twenty-five eager people waiting for me to take them on my “natural habitat reconnaissance trip!” I was flabbergasted, and excited at the same time. I had no idea there could be this kind of interest in what I considered to be a hobby.

I couldn’t possibly accommodate the whole group that day. But it got me thinking about how many other people might be interested in nature, and the environment. I decided to tap into this interest, and began at once to develop my Nature Trails program. I would use it to introduce the public to nature in a soft wilderness environment.

I began conducting bird-watching tours in Ontario, and more adventuresome nature tours in Cost Rica. During this time I became the program director at the Wye Marsh Wildlife Centre, an education research centre in Midland, Ontario. My dream was coming together.

I really wanted a home base from which I could lead all my programs, but I didn’t have the financial resources to do it myself. For this I needed help, I needed a partner. I wanted someone well- established who could supply me with an immediate and ongoing flow of clients. After pondering this for a while, I thought maybe I didn’t need a “who,” maybe I needed a “what.” If I could hitch myself onto the back of a popular resort, I could be in a positive cash flow situation immediately, and continue to develop new programs.

I chose the perfect location for me – the Delta Grandview Resort near Huntsville, in the heart of cottage country in Ontario. It had everything I wanted. Now I just had to convince them I had everything they were looking for, even though they weren’t yet looking for anything like I was offering. I had to show them how they would benefit from my program, and this meant doing some homework before I approached them. I knew I would have one shot, and I had no intention of squandering it.

I worked out all the logistics. I thought of every possible question they might ask during my proposal, and came up with at least three answers to each question. I racked my brain for any holes in my plan, and when I found one, I quickly filled it in. Finally I was ready. I had worked out a turn-key operation where I would do all the work, and they would get most of the benefits. I would run it under their name. I made it easy for them to say yes, because I had already worked out all of the kinks beforehand.

When I presented my plan to the general manager, he immediately liked it. What attracted him most was the added value I would be offering his guests. As I had hoped, he agreed to fund it. I had gotten the job that was never posted in any headhunter office!

My new job included a full salary, with incentives to continue to develop new programs. My expenses were paid whenever I went on an out-of-country expedition, and I had full use of a vehicle at their expense. I was totally free to develop my program as I saw fit so I was working independently, but at the same time I was working for someone else.

I still use the same method that got me my position with Grandview to introduce new programs in Nature Trails. First I do my homework. I anticipate all the obstacles I can imagine that might crop up, and then deal with each one. That way, when management questions me about my new idea I already have the answers to most of their queries.

My biggest obstacle has also been my biggest strength. I am always thinking of new ideas and new adventures to plan. Sometimes my ideas are a bit of a stretch; in fact, some would say they are way outside the box. People like to come up will all kinds of reasons why a particular idea won’t work, but that just motivates me to prove them wrong. I become determined to make it work no matter what, and then spend even more time working out the details to convince them it will.

One of those ideas came from a corporate team-building retreat. Nine independently-thinking CEOs came together for a weekend to learn to work together. Needless to say, coming up with a strategy that would meet with their high expectations was a challenge.

The program was designed to gel the group in a high-pressure situation, and allow them to use their own unique skills to assist in a tense situation. But the plan we came up with had a little twist. We told them we were going to take them into the bush at night. They believed that was the experience. But the real experience would unfold before them.

My two assistants were my partners in crime. My assistant Kendra, made her way out to a river bank with a canoe about an hour before I was to bring the group to that point. She would be alone, and pretend to have fallen on the rocks and suffered a broken leg. The other nature leader was the bus driver, whom the CEOs thought was just coming along for the ride.

As it got dark, I led the group near the target site. By the light of the moon, one of the CEOs noticed an overturned canoe in the river. As I smiled to myself, we all ran to see what had happened. When we got there we found Kendra lying face down on the riverbank giving an Academy Award performance of someone exhausted and in pain. When the team looked at me they only saw the concerned look of their guide. I was acting too, and they didn’t catch on.

By escorting these CEOs into a remote area at night we put them in the unusual situation (for them) of not being in control. To successfully navigate this circumstance they had to rely on someone else – first me and then each other. With apparent concern, I told them we had to transport this woman to a parking lot about two and a half kilometers away to get more help. But I allowed them to make the decisions to get us to safety.

One participant took a few others and started to assemble a stretcher out of tree branches and rope. Another one calmed the so- called victim and another made a splint for her leg. It almost all fell apart when one guy pulled out a cell phone to dial 911. I quickly grabbed the phone, shut it off and told him calling now wouldn’t do any good. I told him we had to get her to the nearest clearing before we could get help, and we would call from there. The group successfully evacuated the victim using the available resources.

When we got to the clearing, Kendra stood up from the stretcher miraculously healed, and I revealed this was all planned as part of their team building exercise. The entire thing had been a staged event. As I spoke, my heart was beating a mile a minute; I was well aware of the emotional and physical stress I had just put them through.

The experience had been traumatic, yet uplifting. It was everything you would experience in a real life-threatening situation. One person was a little upset at first, but most agreed the next day that it got them to work together. It made them realize that as individuals, they might not have all the answers to every question they each face, and they might have to rely on each other at times.

It was such an emotionally powerful exercise I get goose bumps even as I speak about it today. It is an experience those CEOs will never forget, and it was a lesson they appreciated.

* * *

I don’t always win these battles, nor should I. My passion for my work has led to me being known locally as Father Nature, or more humorously, Muskoka's Nature Nut. Some of my hair-brained ideas need to be reigned in. I’ve had some all-out shouting matches with Kendra as we argue over a program’s feasibility. We have a great relationship, and I’m thankful to have her on my team. She is sensible and keeps me in check and on budget. I am not a detail person. I can’t do that, and I need her for this. My challenge has become to make my programs exciting and fresh yet keep them doable in a timely manner.

Nature is the key behind my Dream Business. Nature led me to serendipitously discover it and nature keeps me inspired. I may be doing my thousandth guided trail, but it may be the first one a guest has been on. I have to be excited about that one, and fortunately that is easy for me because I am simply in awe of nature. Every time I go on a nature trail it is new for me. If I ever lose that feeling, I just have to bring a child with me and see it fresh through his eyes. That allows me to slow down and regain the magic of the moment.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

The Yin of your Dream Business

There is one tool the people in Live Your Dreams use, that most other people don’t. It is so powerful that just stating it at the beginning would diminish its magnitude. It uses the power of our imagination but is much more than that. Can you guess what it is?

Most people want a guarantee in life. They want to see the results before they do the work. They want to see the cash. One of the biggest problems with our society today is the fast pace at which we live. We want the lottery win, the quick buck. If we don’t see, hear or feel it immediately, we dismiss it. We have become impatient in our need for immediate gratification. It was thought that as cell phones and computer technology speeded our communications, our work would be streamlined allowing us extra time to relax. What really happened is that it only led to more demands in a technologically driven environment. Now we can’t even get away because of the capabilities of the new communications. We’ve been duped!

Most worthwhile things are not easy, and they take time. Discovering your dream often involves our female energy, what the Chinese refer to as our Yin. We can’t go out and grab it. We have to look inward and allow ourselves the time and space to feel it, and then create it. We need to nurture the concept of delayed gratification.

If you are one of the fortunate few who actually knows what your dreams are, you may still want it now. Again that is a twenty-first century mindset. It is like trying to squeeze a handful of water. The more tightly you squeeze, the more water slips through your fingers.

Follow your dream path, but try not to do it in a rigid way. Many of the people featured here started out by volunteering in the area of their choice. They allowed the circumstances to develop on their own, and this brought them in contact with situations or other people who guided them further along their path. They couldn’t have seen the opportunities while just sitting at a desk. They had to get out and do it. One of the easiest ways to get into the flow of your dream is to volunteer in that field.

While transporting fishermen to their hot spots, Robin engaged naturally in his lifelong love of birds by noticing bald eagles, and then keeping track of their nests. He also recorded how close the logging areas were to these nests. He created his first job by calling the Ministry of Natural Resources and asking if they’d be interested in his work. He created his second job by taking a guest along on one of his reconnaissance flights. That led to other people becoming interested in joining him on future flights. He created his third career when he realized there was an interest for nature tours. He developed his own program, and then sold the idea to a large resort.

None of this would have been foreseeable if he’d stayed in the privacy of his home. By getting out and volunteering, he made things happen. Doors opened, opportunities arose. He was living his dreams and not just dreaming about it.

Volunteer to do what you love. You will be surprised by the opportunities that may come your way.

Brenda Barnes

Owner, Operator and Principal of Martingrove Montessori School

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily.

To not dare is to lose oneself.”

Soren Kierkegaard

“My power was unleashed when I divorced my first husband.”

When I was a little girl, I often played teacher. My parents owned a bakeshop, and on Saturdays I would go with them to help out and earn my ten cents. After spending it I would go to the basement of the shop and pretend the sacks of flour stored there were my five and six- year-old pupils. I then proceeded to teach them various subjects. My brother would kid me and say my parents had three kinds of flour – white, whole wheat and smart.

My mother always told me I could do whatever I wanted in life, but I didn’t have the same faith in myself until many years had passed. She would later be there for me in the darkest hour of my dream.

As a teenager, I really had no direction, so when I left high school I just went out and found a job. When I was twenty-one I enrolled in university as a mature student, but left after two years. Then I got married, had children and became a full-time mom. I had a wonderful time playing with and teaching my kids, but I was on a boat without a rudder, going wherever the wind blew me. Then one day I saw something that changed the direction of my life.

I was out walking my son in his stroller when I came upon a big beautiful old church. There was an archway leading to the side entrance, and I remember it as a magical little path. I walked down the path through the archway, under a large tree and arrived at a door displaying the sign: “Welcome to Hamilton Montessori School.” I had never heard of it, so I opened the door and was awestruck by what I saw. The sun streamed through the stained glass windows and lit up the classroom. It was a magical moment for me. I didn’t know anything about the school but I’ll never forget the incredible connectedness I felt for the place. Something just clicked inside me. I enrolled my children there immediately. When I was ready to make more definitive choices in my life I would remember that moment.

In the meantime, my marriage was not going well. I had always been independent and my young husband was trying to stifle that. Our small children were just two and five, I was a full-time mom and once in a while I needed a break. To get away for a bit, I signed up for a local baking course that involved attending class one evening a week. I just wanted one evening a week for myself. In the second week, my husband had the audacity to call me at the class and demand I come home because he couldn’t get the baby to stop crying. This is a man who went out to play hockey three evenings a week. He was holding me back. He didn’t support me in any of my ventures. He wanted total control.

It was a turning point for me, and I made the decision to end the marriage.

Divorcing him unleashed my natural self and allowed me the freedom to pursue my own dreams. I had thought about it for quite some time, but fear of the unknown had stopped me from doing anything sooner. The hardest part was dealing with my fears around money. How would I support myself? I would be a single mom and I had no support from family. What if I couldn’t make it on my own?

My ex-husband fought it hard and refused to allow us to remain in the family home. The divorce did provide me with a financial settlement and good child support payments. I picked up and moved with the children to Toronto to start over, and there my life began to fall into place. Interestingly enough, almost as soon as we moved out another woman moved into what had been our family home. It seemed that all his issues around controlling me had stemmed from his own infidelity and negative behaviors.

It’s ironic. In the time of my greatest worry, I found my strength. For the first time in my life I began developing the same faith in myself that my mother always had in me.

Recalling that magical feeling I had at the Hamilton Montessori School, I made up my mind to work at one in Toronto. At that time you needed a university degree to do the teacher training. During my interview I said to the founder of the Montessori school, “You’re telling me I have to go back to school for a year. What if you don’t accept me after I earn my degree?” She calmly remarked with a patronizing tone, “Well isn’t it lovely dear? You’d have finished something that you started.” Begrudgingly I concurred.

I took a year off work, went back to university and finished my BA When I was done, I applied and was accepted into the Montessori school teacher training program. It was very intensive. There were no textbooks. As trainees we wrote and illustrated our own books. I learned by doing and using all my senses, and they were modeling their teaching philosophy to us. During this time I met a wonderful man and began a new, long-term relationship. It turned out to be everything my marriage was not, and eventually we married.

Once I finished the year-long program, I began work immediately teaching three-to-six-year-olds. It took me a couple of years to feel comfortable, but I loved it. For the next seven years I taught, never staying at one Montessori school for more than two years.

I grew weary of all of the rules I had to work under. It felt confining, and I wished the administration would be more flexible. The business of running the school was something I never really had a full appreciation for. Because it was a private school, sometimes there was favouritism. If I came down hard on a particular child, I would be reprimanded for no other reason than her parents’ influence on the owners. The bosses I worked for took away the fun of day-to-day teaching. I soon realized I wanted to work for myself and make my own rules.

Around that time I heard that the Second Cup™ coffee shop franchise was placing a cappuccino café on campus at the University of Toronto as a pilot project. It was the break I needed from teaching. I applied for the managerial position, and during the interview told them I was the right person for the job. I was very confident, and I guess they liked that, so they hired me. I was creating something new and nurturing it.

The Second Cup™ experience made me realize that I loved to create and make things happen. I realized what I really wanted was to start my own Montessori school. It would be a significant challenge financially. For the first year, I would have no income; we would have only my second husband’s income as a carpenter to support us.

In spite of everything, I had a vision of what my new school would look like. For six months prior to the opening I took a half hour every day to envision every detail of my new school: How the rooms were going to look; the furniture I would have; how I would develop the back garden.

Visualization was a powerful tool for me, but I had difficulty getting people to understand my vision. I found some space to rent in a church, and had open houses even before I had painted the place. But people didn’t see what I saw. So I borrowed materials from other Montessori schools I had worked for to exemplify the kind of things we would have in the classroom. They still didn’t get it. I knew exactly what it would look like, and I just needed one person to buy into it so I could demonstrate my vision into reality.

My newfound faith in myself spurred me on. With no income, I borrowed $15,000 from my parents and gave my word I would pay it back. With that, I renovated the one room and ordered all the materials for the school. When I was done, it looked just the way I had envisioned it.

When I first began marketing I got a call from a woman at an advertising company offering to put my ad on grocery carts. She told me it would reach all the mothers I wanted to reach, and there was only one space left. I believed her, and signed on for six months. After three months, I hadn’t received even one call. I wanted to cancel but I was told there was a no cancellation clause until the contract expired. From this I learned to be less gullible in future contracts.

My own marketing campaign involved biannual advertising in the local community newspaper and holding open houses twice a year to introduce the school to families in the neighbourhood. Ultimately those two strategies were a lot more effective than the one I paid a professional to do. Most of my growth has been through word of mouth.

I had started advertising my school a few months before I left Second Cup™, but it was now the end of August on the cusp of my first school opening, and I still had no enrollments. I was afraid I was going to fail. I had put up flyers all over the neighbourhood and had advertised the new school locally. During this period my mother had been diagnosed with cancer, and my father suffered a stroke while visiting her in the hospital. Even though I still had no enrollments, I felt an obligation to be at the school for any potential inquiries. So much was happening at the same time. Sometimes it felt as if I was losing it, yet I was determined to carry on with my dream.

One day I sat in the church crying with my head in my lap. I thought I had made the biggest mistake in my life. I asked myself, “What if this doesn’t fly? What if no one shows up?” “How am I going to pay the loan back to my parents?”

At that very moment I heard a car pull up and the door close. In through the school door walked a woman who enrolled her child into my school on the spot. She was the first. It was too much of a coincidence. At my most despairing moment I met with opportunity.

I told her there were no other children in the school yet. But she reassured me they would come. She was a Godsend. A week later a Taiwanese family who had just immigrated to Canada enrolled their two children. For the first half year, that was the total school body – two children who spoke no English and a little girl. Three children – three glorious children.

I did not set a deadline for the school to be successful. There was no minimum quota needed to avoid packing up and leaving. I would use sheer will and determination to make this thing fly. Even though I was afraid of failure, I wasn’t going to let it beat me. I used that fear to motivate me to go forward. I was sure I would have children in that classroom before Christmas. It was going to happen. I would make it happen. Then, at Christmas two other children joined the group. I was running the school by myself five mornings a week. In the afternoon I would go out into the neighbourhood and drop off more advertising flyers.

By the following September we were up to eight children. Because we were licensed under the auspices of social services, our mandate was a maximum ratio of one teacher to eight children. I now had to hire an assistant, and synchronicity knocked again. A good friend of ours had a friend who would be perfect. I hired her, and she has been with me ever since.

I was now teaching preschool during the day as well as handling all the administrative duties. Always looking for a new challenge in the school, I added an elementary program to the curriculum. Then I had to train to teach that course in the evenings. It wasn’t easy to juggle all my roles, but then again I had gone through more difficult times before, and it seemed to give me the strength to face this challenge. Eventually I hired an assistant to handle the dreaded daily administrative duties, and that freed me to have fun doing everything else.

I now know I can do whatever I want. My mom knew it all along; it just took me a few years to catch on. Thank you mom for having faith in me.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

Don’t be afraid of the dark –

it may be holding your key to your dreams

Mulla Nasruddin was a Middle Eastern Sufi visionary who lived during the thirteenth century. He tells a story of a man who is looking for his keys outside his house. Another man walks by and seeing this man on his hands and knees, asks if he is looking for something.

The first man replies, “My keys.”

The second man asks, “Where was the last place you had them?” “In my house.” was the reply.

Bewildered, the second man inquires, “Then why are you looking for them out here?” The first man looks up and says matter-of- factly, “Because the light is better outside my house!”

So many people are afraid of the dark – literally and figuratively. They are so afraid of the unknown they remain stuck in a poor situation just because it is familiar. They would rather stay in the comfort of the light, and let the answers remain hidden. They say “the devil you do know is better than the devil you don’t.” I think the devil himself made that up, because it is a complete lie. Many people who want you to stay in a bad situation have a vested interest in your staying.

Over the years, in the ER, I have treated the injuries of many battered women. They usually come up with a multitude of reasons to go back to their abuser, even though I supply them with immediate resources if they chose to leave.

Brenda was not in that bad a situation yet she endured this controlling husband because she feared leaving. Those fears turned out to be a bogeyman. They did not exist in reality, only in her mind. Soon after her divorce she unleashed her true self.

She discovered her real power and began having the same faith in herself as her mother always had. She had a dream, set a goal, visualized it and made it happen. She was in her power. The real Brenda was hiding for many years. Her greatest fear – being on her own – turned out to be her greatest strength.

Twice in her life Brenda summoned up the tremendous courage to walk into the dark unknown. Both times she was rewarded for her strength. The first time, she divorced her first husband. The second time, she persisted in taking the bold steps to open her new school while everything around her was falling apart. Some people might have completely given up at either point. But not Brenda. She had faith in herself, and in her dream. She was there for her parents when they were sick, she continued to advertise the school despite zero enrollments and she maintained her daily practice of visualizing her dream. Just when she was at her lowest, crying in an empty decorated school, her first student pulled up to the front door with her mother.

People aren’t broken. If they are unsatisfied with their lives it is because they have not yet found the right fit. That could mean the right career, the right mate, the right friends or the right environment. If and when they finally tap into their strength, watch out. It will be like striking oil. They will overflow with powerful energy and focus.

To get to your strength you may have to first walk through the dark. Don’t be afraid of the dark. You really have nothing to fear but the fear itself. In fact, the answer to your yearnings may actually be in the dark. Think of the dark as a veil hiding your dreams. Bravely take one step at a time and trust your heart to lead you in the right direction. Let faith and persistence be your guiding lights and just when you begin doubting the direction you are going, that is when you will find your keys.

What fears are you allowing to hold you back? What small step can you take in the direction of the unknown? You will not likely find the keys by searching where the light is best.

Noel Gordon

Cook

“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time.”

Anna Freud

“I can cook, I can bake, I know that it will work!”

I grew up in Jamaica in a large, very poor family of four brothers and five sisters. We all had to pitch in to make ends meet. Even as a ten-year-old I was expected to do my share of the household cooking. I had no idea this would be the source from which my latent interest in life would grow.

I always wanted to be a doctor. In Jamaica we made our own healing home remedies, and the whole field of medicine intrigued me. It cost money to see a doctor, and we had none. Here in Canada when you step on a nail you see a doctor and get a tetanus shot. Back in Jamaica we would heat up an extract similar to aloe vera, put it on a stick and place it on the wound, which would then heal within a week. Our home remedies consisted of folklore, myths and half-truths, but sometimes they were accurate.

These home remedies were all we could afford. You had to be on death’s door to indulge in the privilege of seeing a doctor. I always looked up to the doctors in our city, and that’s probably why I set my heart on becoming one.

When I was nineteen I moved to England to explore greater opportunities, and find my place in the world. It was exciting living by myself in a new place. When I was twenty-one, I sent for my girlfriend. We had known each other in Jamaica from when we were fourteen and we wanted to get married. Very soon we were expecting a baby, and with that reality my dream of becoming a doctor died. We needed money, and I needed a job. And so I became a lab technician.

Do I regret not becoming a doctor? No, although I certainly had the academic marks. I realized I was often devastated by people’s illness and death. Perhaps I had glamorized the physician because it was so difficult to see one in my own town. My respect might have been partly due to a lack of direct contact with the profession. Would I have made a good surgeon? I’ll never know the answers to these questions. My priorities were now different. I had a wife I adored, and soon I had a wonderful family.

We moved to Canada in 1966. I found work as a lab technician with the Ontario Ministry of Health. I was doing exciting research in various aspects of medical testing. For the most part, over the course of my twenty-three-year career, I enjoyed the work. I loved doing things with my hands, and seeing the results of my experiments. But, after a while, the research became tedious. I was spending sixty hours a week just keeping abreast of the latest research papers in my field. It took time away from my family and I began getting headaches. My joy at work began to wane.

I am an active member of my church and I loved cooking for the various functions. A turning point came when I met an English chef at one of the church’s events. Together we prepared many different dishes including turkey, roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, apple pie and wedding cakes. I was impressed with his cooking skills, how organized he was in the kitchen and how easy he made it all seem. I really began to take notice when I saw the satisfaction on people’s faces after eating his meals. I wanted to see that reaction to my own cooking. My early childhood passion was coming back to me. In actual fact it had never left; I had just turned my focus elsewhere.

The idea of opening my own restaurant began to attract me. I wondered if it was possible. I had no idea I’d be able to scratch this itch sooner than I thought. It turned out my sister knew someone who owned a Mr. Jerk restaurant franchise, and after a bit of thought I made an offer to buy it. He was willing to sell, and we agreed on the sum of $140,000.

I couldn’t keep my job with the Ministry of Health and start a restaurant on the side because both involved sixty-hour weeks and more. I asked the ministry for a severance package, and they agreed. I received $23,000, but I would need a lot more than that to purchase and fix up the place. I put a second mortgage on my home for $80,000 and my former boss at the ministry loaned me $20,000.

I still needed another $30,000. There was a federal assistance plan called a Venture’s Loan. The government would loan me the money if I could come up with thirty per cent of the needed cash. I went to a bank to ask for my share, but grew concerned when I did not hear anything for several weeks. My future was on the line and I certainly wasn’t going to let it ride on a phone call.

My wife and I both went down to see the loan officer at the Royal Bank of Canada. She told me the bank had considered my application, but discovered there were already three West Indies’ restaurants in the area I wanted to locate. The bank didn’t think I could succeed.

I straightened up, and looked directly into her eyes. Then, very calmly, and with absolute confidence I said: “I can cook, I can bake, and I know I can do better than the others. I enjoy it and I am going to make it work!” It wasn’t what I said, but the way I said it that caused her to second-guess the bank report. She changed her mind because she saw the confidence oozing from my pores. I wasn’t wondering if it was going to work. I knew it would work. I just had to convince her, and I did, because she approved the loan.

Opening day was scheduled for May, but our new stove had not yet arrived. It looked like we would have to delay a month, but I couldn’t afford to wait. Our only income now came from my wife working part-time as a nurse. Our financial situation had become desperate. We had to open now.

I brought in a small propane stove, stayed up all night cleaning the place and we opened on time. When my first customer walked in he ordered rice and jerk chicken. Watching a paying customer eat and 232 enjoy my food gave me an amazing feeling I will never forget.

I had lots of help. My wife and son, my sisters, nieces and friends all worked at the restaurant for a while. Even my ten-year-old nephew lent a hand.

Within five years I had paid back all my loans and then some. I did better than I had projected in my bank’s applications. Then, in 2003, a fire decimated part of the kitchen. The city inspector told us we had to put in a $100,000 exhaust system, and we had to close for six months to do that. When we reopened many people told us how much they missed our cooking and how glad they were to see us again. That’s when I knew we were doing really well.

They say you can take the scientist out of the lab but you can’t take the lab out of the scientist. As a lab technician, I generally looked for the method that was easiest to reproduce. That way I could be more confident of our quality assurance. If anyone else used the method I was confident the results were true, because the process was easily duplicated. Because I believe that cooking is a science, I began to apply the same practice in my recipes.

I measured and recorded every ingredient I used in each recipe so that my staff could reproduce my results. This was one of the reasons for our success – of course using only the best ingredients helped too. Employing this method provided another benefit – it allowed me to reduce my work week from sixty-hours in the first years to sixteen-hour weeks now. I thought I wanted to be a doctor because of what I saw around me as a child. Doctors held a lofty position of respect in my home country, and I looked up to them. Instead, I became a cook because of what I felt within me. It was what I did from the time I was a little boy. When I became a cook and opened my own restaurant, I felt like I had come home.

Sam Gerstein – Business Coach - Comments

People are attracted to people who are confident

in themselves and their work

Confidence is a quality that is difficult to quantify. It is what makes a leader a leader, and you just know it when you see it. People like to follow people who have confidence, and they will often buy from people who demonstrate this trait. Where do you get confidence? Some people believe in the “fake it till you make it” method. It has its merits because no novice can expect to have great skills. However, if you truly believe in yourself and have a great passion for what you are doing, you will get there a lot faster.

Noel cooked for most of his life. As a child growing up in a large family, it was a necessity. As an adult he did it as a hobby, cooking for his family and for his church. When the opportunity came along to make a career out of cooking, he had total confidence in his success. He believed in himself and he had a passion for what he was doing. He couldn’t even envision the possibility of failing. Noel said, “If you really want to do something you will find a way to do it.” Below is a success formula.

Confidence = Faith in yourself

and

Confidence + Passion = Success

Confidence will attract people to you. Confidence is the intangible quality that could make a difference between a successful business, and one that isn’t. Noel’s self-confidence is what influenced the loan officer at the bank to change her mind and approve the loan – the final piece of the puzzle needed to kick- start Noel’s successful restaurant venture.

Conclusion

The people in this book are ordinary people whose passions and life purpose spurred them on to do extraordinary things. They had the courage to not only dream, but to do whatever it took to make that dream a reality. As a testament to my respect, I have used the services of people in this book and have happily referred them to my friends. You see, what I found was that these people who loved what they were doing were also really good at it. And I don’t think this was merely a coincidence. If you love what you do, you will have the passion and the interest and the motivation to continually learn and grow and improve. Researching your field will no longer be a laborious task just to get it done. Rather, it will be a labour of love. That is what I discovered when I undertook the task of writing this book. It became my labour of love, and my gift to you.

The tragedy of 9/11 caused many people to sit back and take stock of their lives. If life can end so suddenly, they are saying they want to do something worthwhile while they are on this ride called planet Earth. The bad news is that high work stress increases your risk for chronic pain, illnesses, heart disease, depression and premature death. No question. I am not telling you this to be a doomsayer. I am telling you this because I want you to wake up from your slumber.

The good news is that there is a flip-side: people who are satisfied with their careers and love what they do, live longer and are less prone to illness. And you can do something about it. We are not immortal. If you dislike what you are doing, start doing something else – today. There are steps you can take right now.

Ask yourself, “What was it I always wanted to do?” “What did I enjoy doing as a child?” Look into that course you always wanted to take. Turn off the TV and take a half-hour to dream of the possibilities. Write them down.

If you need assistance in this area, as most people do, I can help guide you so you can choose the best business for you. It has to be a good match for your unique passions, purpose and pure talents. It need not be a random guess. There is a method to doing this. First you must focus on “WHAT” you want to do before you focus on the money. Most people get this backwards, which is one of the major reasons why so many people are confused in understanding their own custom-fit business.

When you do choose right you will feel more confident, creative, connected to the work and an inner calm. What I am talking about is how you live your life on a day-to-day basis. What I learned from talking to hundreds of people who love their work, is that there is no better reward than being happy with what you are doing.

Find Your Own Custom-Fit Business

Dr. Sam Gerstein, Business Coach